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Harrymort is a shitty Stu. Thank God he is just fictional. He is supposed to be the hero, yet I can in no way compare him to actual heroes. But I can compare him to the villains of my series. And they do have some similarities.
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Death Battle! Harrymort vs DIO!
Mar. 22nd, 2021 11:27 amI am a Jojo fan and saw the last sporked chapter of Perfect Lionheart. Where he ranted about how pathetic vampires are while his dryads are so much better amirite?
I wonder how his Stu would fare against an actually competent vampire...
( Read more... )
I wonder how his Stu would fare against an actually competent vampire...
( Read more... )
Sue Profile: Luna Nogood
Dec. 3rd, 2020 11:42 pmPower: 8/10
Influence: 10/10
Vileness: 11/10
I had done Harrymort in the distant past. He was an irredeemable piece of shit and an insult to canon Harry. Anyone who thinks making women brainwashed sex slaves is ok needs help. Well, here is the second biggest Sue in the story, who is actually even MORE evil than him!
The Influence parameter is extremely high because she somehow is related to every fairy tale character ever and her influence extends to Alice of Wonderland, allowing her to make Harrymort overpowered and nuke some Muslims. She is also related to Wendy from Peter Pan, the Malfoys, and even Mother Gothel who is whitewashed because the author is an incel.
Her backstory has so many plot holes you could paint it yellow, give it an annoying laugh and call it SpongeBob. She also makes rants similar to the main Stu's, and she is always supposed to be in the right. When Harrymort tortures the Dursleys to the point you forget they were abusive and want to end their suffering, he shows a glimpse of regret. Of being Harry. Luna, showing an impressive display of morality, points out forcing three Muggles to eat each other for eternity because they neglected an innocent child related to them was the right thing to do.
But no, no, that's not the worst thing. I am not a fan of Lucius and Draco, but what will follow disgusted me. Luna murders Lucius to steal his vast fortune. Draco wants revenge and attempts to kill her. Justified. She plays the victim and makes him subjected to forced sex change and impregnation that will last many many years, and also blackmails his mom to comply. And she thinks this is not a harsh punishment. Did I mention Draco is underage? Luna Nogood doesn't care. She also suggested naked wrestling with other children earlier.
Bully or not, YOU DON'T GET A CHILD RAPED REPEATEDLY, ASSHOLE!
In TV Tropes we couldn't classify her as a complete monster because we are supposed to root for her.
From fighting skills, she is submissive to Harrymort and makes everyone else be too, and she also has the powers of a fairy, a Nemean Lion and a unicorn, because she is totally pure of heart amirite?
She appears in the spitefic "Unholy Alliance" as one of the main villains, being the turncoat Black Legion member Moon Maiden. Who had been given the boot by the Dark One because she was too vile for the standards of a deity who keeps the likes of Alastor and binds the souls of innocent women and their abusers forcibly. Specifically, the Dark One punished pedophiles with execution and the Maiden wanted to kill him and take his place... But she wasn't strong enough to do so directly.
So, she allied herself with the Fairy Queen and Harrymort. The former was willing to do anything, ANYTHING to repopulate her race, while the latter wanted an immortal harem of brainwashed slaves to adore him. The Dryads would breed more Fae, so the three combined their evil agendas. She was actually manipulating both of her allies so she could overthrow her archenemy, and made a confusing story for her origins as a cover-up.
She chastises everyone in her side for being weak when they show empathy and, when Finn breaks the cauldron that made the women immortal breeding machines, the Moon Maiden proposes to the Fairy Queen to take him as her own personal breeder to repopulate her race. She is slain when Zant, the Dark One's right-hand man, duels with her to the death after exposing her treachery. Good riddance.
Influence: 10/10
Vileness: 11/10
I had done Harrymort in the distant past. He was an irredeemable piece of shit and an insult to canon Harry. Anyone who thinks making women brainwashed sex slaves is ok needs help. Well, here is the second biggest Sue in the story, who is actually even MORE evil than him!
The Influence parameter is extremely high because she somehow is related to every fairy tale character ever and her influence extends to Alice of Wonderland, allowing her to make Harrymort overpowered and nuke some Muslims. She is also related to Wendy from Peter Pan, the Malfoys, and even Mother Gothel who is whitewashed because the author is an incel.
Her backstory has so many plot holes you could paint it yellow, give it an annoying laugh and call it SpongeBob. She also makes rants similar to the main Stu's, and she is always supposed to be in the right. When Harrymort tortures the Dursleys to the point you forget they were abusive and want to end their suffering, he shows a glimpse of regret. Of being Harry. Luna, showing an impressive display of morality, points out forcing three Muggles to eat each other for eternity because they neglected an innocent child related to them was the right thing to do.
But no, no, that's not the worst thing. I am not a fan of Lucius and Draco, but what will follow disgusted me. Luna murders Lucius to steal his vast fortune. Draco wants revenge and attempts to kill her. Justified. She plays the victim and makes him subjected to forced sex change and impregnation that will last many many years, and also blackmails his mom to comply. And she thinks this is not a harsh punishment. Did I mention Draco is underage? Luna Nogood doesn't care. She also suggested naked wrestling with other children earlier.
Bully or not, YOU DON'T GET A CHILD RAPED REPEATEDLY, ASSHOLE!
In TV Tropes we couldn't classify her as a complete monster because we are supposed to root for her.
From fighting skills, she is submissive to Harrymort and makes everyone else be too, and she also has the powers of a fairy, a Nemean Lion and a unicorn, because she is totally pure of heart amirite?
She appears in the spitefic "Unholy Alliance" as one of the main villains, being the turncoat Black Legion member Moon Maiden. Who had been given the boot by the Dark One because she was too vile for the standards of a deity who keeps the likes of Alastor and binds the souls of innocent women and their abusers forcibly. Specifically, the Dark One punished pedophiles with execution and the Maiden wanted to kill him and take his place... But she wasn't strong enough to do so directly.
So, she allied herself with the Fairy Queen and Harrymort. The former was willing to do anything, ANYTHING to repopulate her race, while the latter wanted an immortal harem of brainwashed slaves to adore him. The Dryads would breed more Fae, so the three combined their evil agendas. She was actually manipulating both of her allies so she could overthrow her archenemy, and made a confusing story for her origins as a cover-up.
She chastises everyone in her side for being weak when they show empathy and, when Finn breaks the cauldron that made the women immortal breeding machines, the Moon Maiden proposes to the Fairy Queen to take him as her own personal breeder to repopulate her race. She is slain when Zant, the Dark One's right-hand man, duels with her to the death after exposing her treachery. Good riddance.
At last, I finished my spitefic!
Here are five moments of it I enjoyed writing. You can rank them yourselves.
1. Ron saving all of Harrymort's sex slaves. He managed to free Herminion from the Dark Lord's control and also helped Finn counter the Fairy Queen's cheating at chess. He indirectly saved all the Dryads.
2. Voldemort vs Ganondorf. The mastermind behind Harrymort simply was no match for the even greater Dark Lord. It was the start of Harrymort's downfall.
3. Finn vs the Fairy Queen. Outmatched in a straight fight, the former is not thrilled with the idea of being a deity's sex toy. However, he still offers himself to save many women. The Queen refuses the offer, so Finn makes it an all or nothing in a chess game, knowing the Queen's strategy is pranks. The mortal manages to outsmart and defeat the powerful fae before her cheating becomes too much, saving the Dryads.
4. Kylo Ren vs Harrymort. Yes, Finn and Leah did have good reasons to fight and defeat Harrymort, and did so, but Kylo outshined them. (This is a response to the excessive character-bashing. I wanted to have one of my least favorites kill the Stu to show how despicable he is.) Anyway, not only Kylo defeat the sex slaver while the wizard was a Nemean Lion, but also pointed out that Harrymort was in no place to rant about Ben's war crimes because he was far, far worse, and then killed the evil without killing Harry. Good job, Ben.
5. The alliance itself. Stormwolf and Black Legion are sworn enemies, yet here they realize they have to put their differences aside to squash this unspeakable evil.
Here are five moments of it I enjoyed writing. You can rank them yourselves.
1. Ron saving all of Harrymort's sex slaves. He managed to free Herminion from the Dark Lord's control and also helped Finn counter the Fairy Queen's cheating at chess. He indirectly saved all the Dryads.
2. Voldemort vs Ganondorf. The mastermind behind Harrymort simply was no match for the even greater Dark Lord. It was the start of Harrymort's downfall.
3. Finn vs the Fairy Queen. Outmatched in a straight fight, the former is not thrilled with the idea of being a deity's sex toy. However, he still offers himself to save many women. The Queen refuses the offer, so Finn makes it an all or nothing in a chess game, knowing the Queen's strategy is pranks. The mortal manages to outsmart and defeat the powerful fae before her cheating becomes too much, saving the Dryads.
4. Kylo Ren vs Harrymort. Yes, Finn and Leah did have good reasons to fight and defeat Harrymort, and did so, but Kylo outshined them. (This is a response to the excessive character-bashing. I wanted to have one of my least favorites kill the Stu to show how despicable he is.) Anyway, not only Kylo defeat the sex slaver while the wizard was a Nemean Lion, but also pointed out that Harrymort was in no place to rant about Ben's war crimes because he was far, far worse, and then killed the evil without killing Harry. Good job, Ben.
5. The alliance itself. Stormwolf and Black Legion are sworn enemies, yet here they realize they have to put their differences aside to squash this unspeakable evil.
I can't believe it! At all!
Sep. 29th, 2020 08:15 pmToday, I beat Twilight Princess (and Ganondorf is kinda easy except the third phase, but epic). I also finished my biggest spitefic chapter EVER (in PKH, the final battle with the Fairy Queen, who is actually a far greater threat than the final boss), and finally WHEA is also before the final showdown.
What can I say except I did not expect this actually happening?
It was far easier said than done, to be honest.
What can I say except I did not expect this actually happening?
It was far easier said than done, to be honest.
My version of Ganondorf vs Harrymort
Aug. 25th, 2020 10:20 pmWho is the bigger evil? The Black Legion mastermind or the primary Fairy Champion?
Let's see:
Lust for power. Ganondorf has a massive god complex and wants to be the only god. Though his agenda is not limited there, his lust for power is extreme. Harrymort wants power-up after power-up and asks for plenty of transformations to promote his own agenda too. I say they have a tie here.
Transformations and power-ups for servitude. Ganondorf has definetely done this with his deals, asking for people to serve him in exchange for becoming extremely powerful warriors, sometimes immortal. These people volunteer usually, but Ganondorf uses a lot of temptation to persuade them to do so and might twist the words to gain something. He has also done mind control and even created abusive soulbonds. However, Harrymort kidnaps women, he makes them his immortal soldiers, he points out how much he offered and he has a lot in common with the Dark One here... but two things. Harrymort's slaves have no free will and become breeder machines. Ganon wants warriors, Harrymort sex slaves. I say Harrymort gains the more evil point here.
Combat: Harrymort is no slouch. Even though he avoids fighting openly, he has Voldemort's memories, is immune to fire and bullets, can cast curses with his wand, knows archery, can burn a forest, has two powerful transformations and uses bad luck potions to cripple his enemies. However, the Prince is immune to anything not holy or light-based, is a great swordsman, punches like a train, can survive a Hyperspace Ramming, can control the hate and malice of others and has four extremely devastating transformations. I believe Harrymort gets stomped badly here.
Armies: This one is no contest. Wooden Soldiers, tree spirits and fairies against every kind of monster you can imagine, from skeletons and vampires to Hell's best troops. Not sorry, Harrymort!
Dirty tricks: On the one side we have: Moles on the enemy side, sometimes the Dark One masquerades as a friendly prince or a nice shopkeeper. He also has used a fake of himself to trick enemies. Can easily make others work for him with just promises of power and his minions slander the enemy often. And more. On the other side we have scrapegoat, fake intendities for the enemy to be fooled, fake of an enemy's body to trick an assassin, loyalty imprints to force people to obey him and, as mentioned above, poison to leave the enemy helpless. I believe Harrymort would think he outsmarted Dumbledore, who would actually be a replica made by Ganon, who would be laughing at the Dark Colonel plot.
Goals: Ganondorf wants power. He wants complete authority. But not just that. Since he believes humanity is corrupt, he wants it to be exterminated to the last man. He believes humanity is oppressing every realm it rules and is a destructive parasite. He only kept himself from killing them all because he wanted to make them a factory farm species for him and his minions. Harrymort's goals are similar, however he goes for the destruction option with nukes, tries to make everyone Aryan, wants to be rich and have a harem. Looks like the Prince is wanting in this department.
Overall, I believe Harrymort is more evil than the Dark One, however he doesn't have half his effectiveness. Please share your thoughts!
Let's see:
Lust for power. Ganondorf has a massive god complex and wants to be the only god. Though his agenda is not limited there, his lust for power is extreme. Harrymort wants power-up after power-up and asks for plenty of transformations to promote his own agenda too. I say they have a tie here.
Transformations and power-ups for servitude. Ganondorf has definetely done this with his deals, asking for people to serve him in exchange for becoming extremely powerful warriors, sometimes immortal. These people volunteer usually, but Ganondorf uses a lot of temptation to persuade them to do so and might twist the words to gain something. He has also done mind control and even created abusive soulbonds. However, Harrymort kidnaps women, he makes them his immortal soldiers, he points out how much he offered and he has a lot in common with the Dark One here... but two things. Harrymort's slaves have no free will and become breeder machines. Ganon wants warriors, Harrymort sex slaves. I say Harrymort gains the more evil point here.
Combat: Harrymort is no slouch. Even though he avoids fighting openly, he has Voldemort's memories, is immune to fire and bullets, can cast curses with his wand, knows archery, can burn a forest, has two powerful transformations and uses bad luck potions to cripple his enemies. However, the Prince is immune to anything not holy or light-based, is a great swordsman, punches like a train, can survive a Hyperspace Ramming, can control the hate and malice of others and has four extremely devastating transformations. I believe Harrymort gets stomped badly here.
Armies: This one is no contest. Wooden Soldiers, tree spirits and fairies against every kind of monster you can imagine, from skeletons and vampires to Hell's best troops. Not sorry, Harrymort!
Dirty tricks: On the one side we have: Moles on the enemy side, sometimes the Dark One masquerades as a friendly prince or a nice shopkeeper. He also has used a fake of himself to trick enemies. Can easily make others work for him with just promises of power and his minions slander the enemy often. And more. On the other side we have scrapegoat, fake intendities for the enemy to be fooled, fake of an enemy's body to trick an assassin, loyalty imprints to force people to obey him and, as mentioned above, poison to leave the enemy helpless. I believe Harrymort would think he outsmarted Dumbledore, who would actually be a replica made by Ganon, who would be laughing at the Dark Colonel plot.
Goals: Ganondorf wants power. He wants complete authority. But not just that. Since he believes humanity is corrupt, he wants it to be exterminated to the last man. He believes humanity is oppressing every realm it rules and is a destructive parasite. He only kept himself from killing them all because he wanted to make them a factory farm species for him and his minions. Harrymort's goals are similar, however he goes for the destruction option with nukes, tries to make everyone Aryan, wants to be rich and have a harem. Looks like the Prince is wanting in this department.
Overall, I believe Harrymort is more evil than the Dark One, however he doesn't have half his effectiveness. Please share your thoughts!
Ironic Inspiration
Jun. 18th, 2020 12:30 amSometimes, I am inspired by bad writers, and not just to mock them. Examples include the "evil bonds that condone abuse", only I actually portray them as evil, and having some underused characters in bigger roles.
Today, let's speak about ways PLH inspired me. All ironic, of course. Coincidences like the Malebranche/Dryads do not count.
1. It made me limit the character-bashing. I started with some of it, but tried my best to limit it later. Though Lionheart did inspire me even more.
2. In my stories there is now a propaganda piece where the evil government portrays Finn the way Darth Dumbledore is portrayed. As a mustache-twirling villain, ineffective in practice.
3. It made me buff vampires. I didn't make impressive ones until then, though this was partially because they were mostly... Aro and Bella. Yeah, not so threatening. However, I saw the vampires of PKH, who were actually weaker than humans (and despite the rants about Twilight, replacing the vampires with dryads changes nothing), and wondered if my vampires are also too weak. So, I introduced the Vampiric Infantry, who replace the arrogance with experience and training and are fairly competent.
4. Their leader, Armilla, deserves a separate mention. She is the exact type of villain Lionheart would not write ever. She is an attractive vampire woman, and does not get whitewashed in spite of her attractiveness. Despite that, she does show some standards, especially when it comes to private matters. She is also very effective, defeats the male lead in her first appearance and the female lead is the one who puts her down... and there are some more details that basically would be very out of place for a PLH villain. She is also a minion of a minion, btw.
5. Two of Kylo's Redemption Tasks in the Forgiveness Timeline have to do with PKH. They can be found in das_sporking.
Though other Sues get on my sights too. I.e. in the Stormwolf Timeline, Takara will be a major enemy in the Japanese arc. Abusive little shits don't get away easily. And I once used Nobunaga-Sensei as a torture device.
Maybe I will make one for Ian's abomination or Vegan Fartbook later. These two also ironically inspired me and are liquid shit.
Today, let's speak about ways PLH inspired me. All ironic, of course. Coincidences like the Malebranche/Dryads do not count.
1. It made me limit the character-bashing. I started with some of it, but tried my best to limit it later. Though Lionheart did inspire me even more.
2. In my stories there is now a propaganda piece where the evil government portrays Finn the way Darth Dumbledore is portrayed. As a mustache-twirling villain, ineffective in practice.
3. It made me buff vampires. I didn't make impressive ones until then, though this was partially because they were mostly... Aro and Bella. Yeah, not so threatening. However, I saw the vampires of PKH, who were actually weaker than humans (and despite the rants about Twilight, replacing the vampires with dryads changes nothing), and wondered if my vampires are also too weak. So, I introduced the Vampiric Infantry, who replace the arrogance with experience and training and are fairly competent.
4. Their leader, Armilla, deserves a separate mention. She is the exact type of villain Lionheart would not write ever. She is an attractive vampire woman, and does not get whitewashed in spite of her attractiveness. Despite that, she does show some standards, especially when it comes to private matters. She is also very effective, defeats the male lead in her first appearance and the female lead is the one who puts her down... and there are some more details that basically would be very out of place for a PLH villain. She is also a minion of a minion, btw.
5. Two of Kylo's Redemption Tasks in the Forgiveness Timeline have to do with PKH. They can be found in das_sporking.
Though other Sues get on my sights too. I.e. in the Stormwolf Timeline, Takara will be a major enemy in the Japanese arc. Abusive little shits don't get away easily. And I once used Nobunaga-Sensei as a torture device.
Maybe I will make one for Ian's abomination or Vegan Fartbook later. These two also ironically inspired me and are liquid shit.
Partially Kissed Villain Reflaming:
May. 19th, 2020 11:35 pmOk, I read deeper into the PKH madness. It had the great thing of making me more interested in Harry Potter. And now, thanks to Loinheart, my favorite character is the wise, badass, flawed... Albus Dumbledore.
After dealing with that mustache-twirling clown of PKH, I saw the awesome version of the original HP, where he acts as the only sane man in a very high position.
Really, the way Dumbledore is portrayed in both cases reflects the stories themselves. Original Harry Potter is not perfect but is still very good and inspiring. Partially Kissed Hero is a travesty that promotes mustache-twirling villainy.
I was way too lenient in my first review, but now I am fucking pissed. The Caucasian Creams, the sexism, the condoning of Muslim genocide, the classism, the slavery apologism and the way capitalism and the rich are also bashed... that's extreme nationalism and socialism. National Socialism. Couple that with how he supposedly acts like he is against Nazis...
Yeah, the story is shit because it's full of National Socialism. At least Harrymort hasn't used gas chambers... but I won't put it above him.
Oh, and I will put in this:
As we have watched the end of one major corporation after another, banks failing and frauds being exposed on every level of government, or any other concern, war being threatened (or declared) in every part of the globe, and every type of crisis growing beyond all previous proportions, for purposes of this story, I choose to interpret that, and the failing of many world currencies (including powerful indications that the dollar may be collapsing for good) as the coming end of the muggle world.
Like Rome, we are falling. And like Rome, it is under the weight of our own corruption.
And once more like Rome, when it goes so much of what we consider ordinary will stop working that many may well interpret it as the end of the world. And indeed, it will be the end of one style of living.
But you add any kind of stress (like the discovery of fairies) to an already torn fabric (or fabric of society, in this case) and it rips faster.
If we replace Muggle and we with humanity and fairies with demons, this could easily be a speech of the Dark One, who in my stories is the Antichrist and Big Bad. Whose plan is exactly this.
This is an Author's Note.
Congratulations, Lionheart, now you sound like the incarnation of evil in my crossover verse. Well done.
After dealing with that mustache-twirling clown of PKH, I saw the awesome version of the original HP, where he acts as the only sane man in a very high position.
Really, the way Dumbledore is portrayed in both cases reflects the stories themselves. Original Harry Potter is not perfect but is still very good and inspiring. Partially Kissed Hero is a travesty that promotes mustache-twirling villainy.
I was way too lenient in my first review, but now I am fucking pissed. The Caucasian Creams, the sexism, the condoning of Muslim genocide, the classism, the slavery apologism and the way capitalism and the rich are also bashed... that's extreme nationalism and socialism. National Socialism. Couple that with how he supposedly acts like he is against Nazis...
Yeah, the story is shit because it's full of National Socialism. At least Harrymort hasn't used gas chambers... but I won't put it above him.
Oh, and I will put in this:
As we have watched the end of one major corporation after another, banks failing and frauds being exposed on every level of government, or any other concern, war being threatened (or declared) in every part of the globe, and every type of crisis growing beyond all previous proportions, for purposes of this story, I choose to interpret that, and the failing of many world currencies (including powerful indications that the dollar may be collapsing for good) as the coming end of the muggle world.
Like Rome, we are falling. And like Rome, it is under the weight of our own corruption.
And once more like Rome, when it goes so much of what we consider ordinary will stop working that many may well interpret it as the end of the world. And indeed, it will be the end of one style of living.
But you add any kind of stress (like the discovery of fairies) to an already torn fabric (or fabric of society, in this case) and it rips faster.
If we replace Muggle and we with humanity and fairies with demons, this could easily be a speech of the Dark One, who in my stories is the Antichrist and Big Bad. Whose plan is exactly this.
This is an Author's Note.
Congratulations, Lionheart, now you sound like the incarnation of evil in my crossover verse. Well done.
Pan Hancock vs Harrymort
May. 10th, 2020 11:09 amThe battle of all battles! One of the most disgusting self-inserts faces off against my own self-insert! Can Harrymort last longer than Sterk?
Harrymort is sitting on his not-throne, when Herminion brings him the news he never wanted to hear.
Somebody was killing their troops. The Dryad slaves lost their immortality, the Disco Eaters have lost many, Luna Nogood was dead and Luna Lovegood wants nothing to do with Harrymort.
In fact, Luna Nogood's body was found hanged upside down with a note: "Don't sentence children to repeated rape, or else".
Harrymort felt sad and scared simultaneously... no, this can't be! He was not afraid of anything! He was still the Boy Who Lived! And sadness? Compassion was for the weak, just like fear.
Then he gets a message. "My Dark Lord, your love, Bellatrix, awaits you in the central square."
Harrymort goes there with his invisible car and finds Bellatrix... everywhere. A blond young man is polishing his blade.
Harrymort mentally ranted about how a cheap shot would help kill the man without an open fight, but then he decided to make him suffer. "Crucio!"
The blond, white man with the blue eyes screamed in pain as the curse made him feel agony.
But, to the dark wizard's surprise, the man managed to regain his composure and summon a thunderbolt from his right hand. Harrymort gets struck so hard he loses his wand.
Harrymort hated open fights. He risked getting injured in any way. It wasn't cowardice, just pragmatism. "Who are you?"
The man dashed forward and kicked the monster in the solar plexus. "Someone who saw you turning women into mindless slaves. And don't say things like you did them a favor with beauty. Not all women are shallow bints."
Harrymort started ranting about how his actions were all right and that everyone should be grateful blah blah blah...
Only to be interrupted when a big, golden sword penetrated him. "I know what you will say. That armor is so valuable and should be swordproof. Well, this sword... is holy. It can cut through diamond. And I believe it will hurt you, Riddle, more than the poor child you are possessing."
Harrymort turned into a Nemean Lion. Then he roared and charged. The man rolled out of the way and used another lightning bolt.
"You are good..." Then the man also hurled a spear of lightning. It struck home. "... But I am Pan Hancock. I am no hero. I just hunt scumbags like you."
Then he fired another thunderbolt, but Harrymort used his unicorn speed to dodge it. And the next one. And the next one. The Nemean Lion gets very close to Pan and knocks him down. Then it tries to bite his head off.
Pan struggles to keep the monster's jaws open and is sweating. "I need something. Something really strong." And he uses one of his very few spells that are not lightning-based, his Sonic Scream. It stuns the Lion for three seconds... but that was just a distraction, as the Nemean Lion is fed a Lightning Bomb!
Harrymort is forced to human form after this and can barely stand up. He reaches for his wand. "Listen, agent of the Headbastard... you will never win. The Light shall prevail!"
"Actually, I am a supporter of the Light... just one of the least pure ones. You, on the other hand, are pure. Pure Dark, who turns innocents into breeding machines, use enemies for experiments and make some abusers eat each other forever. Call them out. Beat them up. Heck, kill the adults if they go TOO far! Just... not this. Killing the Dursleys, after what they did and what you did, was karma in both ways."
Harrymort starts reaching for his wand. Pan pretends he did not see him. The dark wizard keeps crawling. "You... you murdered them! That's..."
"Both mercy and a punishment. Harsh enough for their abuse, but lighter than what you did to them. You know, some people are very fucked up. They think raping a child is less insane than killing said rapist with a shotgun."
Pan chuckles. "This is why I mostly use my bare hands on rapists to kill them."
Then Harrymort reaches for his wand and fires a green beam. "Avada Kadavra!"
It can ignore even a shield spell and can kill instantly... but Pan, knowing the spell is unblockable even from his Shield of Hope, which can block a ship's lasers, jumps sideways as far as he can.
Then he uses another of his best techniques. "Sunlight beam!"
It strikes Harrymort at the head. Voldemort, struck by the holy energy, gets banished, and Harry falls unconscious.
"If I had a healing spell, Harry... you did not deserve to become this."
Harrymort is sitting on his not-throne, when Herminion brings him the news he never wanted to hear.
Somebody was killing their troops. The Dryad slaves lost their immortality, the Disco Eaters have lost many, Luna Nogood was dead and Luna Lovegood wants nothing to do with Harrymort.
In fact, Luna Nogood's body was found hanged upside down with a note: "Don't sentence children to repeated rape, or else".
Harrymort felt sad and scared simultaneously... no, this can't be! He was not afraid of anything! He was still the Boy Who Lived! And sadness? Compassion was for the weak, just like fear.
Then he gets a message. "My Dark Lord, your love, Bellatrix, awaits you in the central square."
Harrymort goes there with his invisible car and finds Bellatrix... everywhere. A blond young man is polishing his blade.
Harrymort mentally ranted about how a cheap shot would help kill the man without an open fight, but then he decided to make him suffer. "Crucio!"
The blond, white man with the blue eyes screamed in pain as the curse made him feel agony.
But, to the dark wizard's surprise, the man managed to regain his composure and summon a thunderbolt from his right hand. Harrymort gets struck so hard he loses his wand.
Harrymort hated open fights. He risked getting injured in any way. It wasn't cowardice, just pragmatism. "Who are you?"
The man dashed forward and kicked the monster in the solar plexus. "Someone who saw you turning women into mindless slaves. And don't say things like you did them a favor with beauty. Not all women are shallow bints."
Harrymort started ranting about how his actions were all right and that everyone should be grateful blah blah blah...
Only to be interrupted when a big, golden sword penetrated him. "I know what you will say. That armor is so valuable and should be swordproof. Well, this sword... is holy. It can cut through diamond. And I believe it will hurt you, Riddle, more than the poor child you are possessing."
Harrymort turned into a Nemean Lion. Then he roared and charged. The man rolled out of the way and used another lightning bolt.
"You are good..." Then the man also hurled a spear of lightning. It struck home. "... But I am Pan Hancock. I am no hero. I just hunt scumbags like you."
Then he fired another thunderbolt, but Harrymort used his unicorn speed to dodge it. And the next one. And the next one. The Nemean Lion gets very close to Pan and knocks him down. Then it tries to bite his head off.
Pan struggles to keep the monster's jaws open and is sweating. "I need something. Something really strong." And he uses one of his very few spells that are not lightning-based, his Sonic Scream. It stuns the Lion for three seconds... but that was just a distraction, as the Nemean Lion is fed a Lightning Bomb!
Harrymort is forced to human form after this and can barely stand up. He reaches for his wand. "Listen, agent of the Headbastard... you will never win. The Light shall prevail!"
"Actually, I am a supporter of the Light... just one of the least pure ones. You, on the other hand, are pure. Pure Dark, who turns innocents into breeding machines, use enemies for experiments and make some abusers eat each other forever. Call them out. Beat them up. Heck, kill the adults if they go TOO far! Just... not this. Killing the Dursleys, after what they did and what you did, was karma in both ways."
Harrymort starts reaching for his wand. Pan pretends he did not see him. The dark wizard keeps crawling. "You... you murdered them! That's..."
"Both mercy and a punishment. Harsh enough for their abuse, but lighter than what you did to them. You know, some people are very fucked up. They think raping a child is less insane than killing said rapist with a shotgun."
Pan chuckles. "This is why I mostly use my bare hands on rapists to kill them."
Then Harrymort reaches for his wand and fires a green beam. "Avada Kadavra!"
It can ignore even a shield spell and can kill instantly... but Pan, knowing the spell is unblockable even from his Shield of Hope, which can block a ship's lasers, jumps sideways as far as he can.
Then he uses another of his best techniques. "Sunlight beam!"
It strikes Harrymort at the head. Voldemort, struck by the holy energy, gets banished, and Harry falls unconscious.
"If I had a healing spell, Harry... you did not deserve to become this."
Death Battle! Kars vs Harrymort!
Apr. 16th, 2020 06:04 pmHarrymort was enjoying the power-ups he got by fairy magic. He is ready to go for a hunt, wanting to destroy all vampires.
As he went hunting, he heard an "AYAYAYAYAYAYA" in the distance.
He rushed there to get where the music came from. And he saw a man with purple hair being dressed provocatively.
"Who are you, faggot? A minion of Dumbledore? A pedophile? If you are gay, you must be a pedophile!"
The man with the long, purple hair looks confused. "Who is Dumbledore, why do you think I am gay, and who are you?"
"Dumbledore is the source of all evil in the Multiverse, your clothes are gay and I am Harry, champion of the Fairy Queen."
"All evil? Including sending trees in space, where they can't breathe, while they have to, and killing all of them? As I was forcibly sent into space, I floated and floated until I saw those poor trees withering, dying because some moron put them in places without oxygen, carbon dioxide, or atmosphere at all, expecting to produce oxygen by photosynthesis without air already existing. Yeah, that's pointless. I am looking for the idiot who did this."
Harrymort could not believe it. Rants were his speciality, and now he is lectured about science by a strange man that doesn't even know who Dumbledore is. Impossible! He was the wisest man in the world!
But also because... "MY DRYADS! MY IMMORTAL BREEDER MACHINES! YOU KILLED THEM!"
Kars facepalmed. "You made this? Wait, immortal breeder machines? You were making women dryads just to have sex slaves? Me making people vampires for food, for SURVIVAL, was one thing. But this is outright sick and wrong."
"You made vampires? And you eat them?"
"Yes. I am the leader of the Pillar Men, Kars. A deity. The ultimate life form. And was looking for the fool who tried to change all the rules of nature by planting trees in space. They are all dead because of your stupidity. Maybe, considering your goals, you did this out of mercy."
"Mercy is for the weak."
"A lot of vampires think this. Well, you know what vampires truly are? Food."
Harrymort starts ranting about how vampires are disgusting, how he is the perfect warrior and not Kars and how he only wanted the best for his dryads. Over and over and over...
Kars attacked him with his blades. Harrymort got an ugly cut in the stomach and one in the right arm. He retaliated with Avada Kadavra, killing Kars on the spot. "Ha ha ha! Not so ultimate now!"
Then vines wrapped around Harrymort's body. Wooden spears penetrated his back and they wrapped tentacles around his torso. Harrymort casted Fiendfyre to free himself and burned everything, but it was a distraction, since an Avada Kadavra killed him on the spot.
The real Kars appeared. "Pathetic. You killed just my double. I could study your killing curse and copy it. Now, I conquered the Sun. And soon, I will make sure my kind rules again!"
As he went hunting, he heard an "AYAYAYAYAYAYA" in the distance.
He rushed there to get where the music came from. And he saw a man with purple hair being dressed provocatively.
"Who are you, faggot? A minion of Dumbledore? A pedophile? If you are gay, you must be a pedophile!"
The man with the long, purple hair looks confused. "Who is Dumbledore, why do you think I am gay, and who are you?"
"Dumbledore is the source of all evil in the Multiverse, your clothes are gay and I am Harry, champion of the Fairy Queen."
"All evil? Including sending trees in space, where they can't breathe, while they have to, and killing all of them? As I was forcibly sent into space, I floated and floated until I saw those poor trees withering, dying because some moron put them in places without oxygen, carbon dioxide, or atmosphere at all, expecting to produce oxygen by photosynthesis without air already existing. Yeah, that's pointless. I am looking for the idiot who did this."
Harrymort could not believe it. Rants were his speciality, and now he is lectured about science by a strange man that doesn't even know who Dumbledore is. Impossible! He was the wisest man in the world!
But also because... "MY DRYADS! MY IMMORTAL BREEDER MACHINES! YOU KILLED THEM!"
Kars facepalmed. "You made this? Wait, immortal breeder machines? You were making women dryads just to have sex slaves? Me making people vampires for food, for SURVIVAL, was one thing. But this is outright sick and wrong."
"You made vampires? And you eat them?"
"Yes. I am the leader of the Pillar Men, Kars. A deity. The ultimate life form. And was looking for the fool who tried to change all the rules of nature by planting trees in space. They are all dead because of your stupidity. Maybe, considering your goals, you did this out of mercy."
"Mercy is for the weak."
"A lot of vampires think this. Well, you know what vampires truly are? Food."
Harrymort starts ranting about how vampires are disgusting, how he is the perfect warrior and not Kars and how he only wanted the best for his dryads. Over and over and over...
Kars attacked him with his blades. Harrymort got an ugly cut in the stomach and one in the right arm. He retaliated with Avada Kadavra, killing Kars on the spot. "Ha ha ha! Not so ultimate now!"
Then vines wrapped around Harrymort's body. Wooden spears penetrated his back and they wrapped tentacles around his torso. Harrymort casted Fiendfyre to free himself and burned everything, but it was a distraction, since an Avada Kadavra killed him on the spot.
The real Kars appeared. "Pathetic. You killed just my double. I could study your killing curse and copy it. Now, I conquered the Sun. And soon, I will make sure my kind rules again!"
Vegan Artbook and Partially Kissed Hero are both toxic trainwrecks. But they do have few, very very few, good moments.
For VA, the author makes two witty strips. In one, a vegan shouts "SEX!" Then she says that now she has got the attention of others, to be nice to animals. Nothing toxic, healthy message, and a nice satire about how anything related to sex attracts the masses. In the second one, it satires how vegan food has more variety than what most people think, and the character who doesn't know this is not demonized, and the art improves further. These two strips were enjoyable unironically. Sadly, Priya makes a million more strips of demonzing people who aren't her, even condoning bullying at some strips, or once killing off an actual critic of her work. Couldn't those two strips be the norm and not the exception?
PKH also has a chapter which sucks less than the others. A realistic battle where there is only one WTF moment after the main fight, and not during. The reason it doesn't suck is that there are no major mistakes, the main villain finally lives up to the undeserved reputation and Harrymort actually loses for once.
Yes, even the shittiest works have some nice moments. Remember, Meyer gave us Leah who tore Bella a new one!
For VA, the author makes two witty strips. In one, a vegan shouts "SEX!" Then she says that now she has got the attention of others, to be nice to animals. Nothing toxic, healthy message, and a nice satire about how anything related to sex attracts the masses. In the second one, it satires how vegan food has more variety than what most people think, and the character who doesn't know this is not demonized, and the art improves further. These two strips were enjoyable unironically. Sadly, Priya makes a million more strips of demonzing people who aren't her, even condoning bullying at some strips, or once killing off an actual critic of her work. Couldn't those two strips be the norm and not the exception?
PKH also has a chapter which sucks less than the others. A realistic battle where there is only one WTF moment after the main fight, and not during. The reason it doesn't suck is that there are no major mistakes, the main villain finally lives up to the undeserved reputation and Harrymort actually loses for once.
Yes, even the shittiest works have some nice moments. Remember, Meyer gave us Leah who tore Bella a new one!
Sue profile: Harrymort
Feb. 22nd, 2020 03:41 pmPower: 8/10
Influence: 9/10
Vileness: 10/10
This evil entity started using poor Harry Potter as a vessel when the poor boy was partially kissed by a Dementor. Indeed, the result was a being which could be considered soulless.
He gathered a harem of girls, whom he treated as trophy wives. Unbeknownst to him, Luna Lovegood had been kidnapped and replaced with an even more evil being than himself, who encouraged him to do heinous acts or not regret them.
His archenemy is Albus Dumbledore, who somehow was turned into a mustache-twirling villain who dies constantly in ridiculous ways. A far cry from the flawed, but wise Headmaster.
His crimes involve torture, staging a child's rape, theft, kidnapping, fraud, skinning sentient beings and even his own pets alive, brainwashing, slavery, more torture, murder, genocide, ursuping, scrapegoating, arson, isolation, fucking up history and even more torture. He also makes lectures that will bore you to death.
Of course, being a Stu, the story portrays him as pure good and having a backbone. And somehow, all girls love him. Well, he is pure alright!
Likes: Pretending to be the hero, girls, doing every vile act possible, ranting and being a hypocrite.
Dislikes: People who serve anyone other than himself, the undead, people who disagree with him, the Headmaster.
He is sadly a skilled wizard and is immune to fire. Not that fire would touch him if it had any free will.
Influence: 9/10
Vileness: 10/10
This evil entity started using poor Harry Potter as a vessel when the poor boy was partially kissed by a Dementor. Indeed, the result was a being which could be considered soulless.
He gathered a harem of girls, whom he treated as trophy wives. Unbeknownst to him, Luna Lovegood had been kidnapped and replaced with an even more evil being than himself, who encouraged him to do heinous acts or not regret them.
His archenemy is Albus Dumbledore, who somehow was turned into a mustache-twirling villain who dies constantly in ridiculous ways. A far cry from the flawed, but wise Headmaster.
His crimes involve torture, staging a child's rape, theft, kidnapping, fraud, skinning sentient beings and even his own pets alive, brainwashing, slavery, more torture, murder, genocide, ursuping, scrapegoating, arson, isolation, fucking up history and even more torture. He also makes lectures that will bore you to death.
Of course, being a Stu, the story portrays him as pure good and having a backbone. And somehow, all girls love him. Well, he is pure alright!
Likes: Pretending to be the hero, girls, doing every vile act possible, ranting and being a hypocrite.
Dislikes: People who serve anyone other than himself, the undead, people who disagree with him, the Headmaster.
He is sadly a skilled wizard and is immune to fire. Not that fire would touch him if it had any free will.
Partially Kissed Villain
Jan. 27th, 2020 09:47 pmOh, the masterpiece of Perfect Lionheart with the awesome morality. A lot of work was put into that spitefic. It could be great. It didn't have horrible grammar, the worldbuild was ok and there was passion. And I didn't mind the many crossovers, I do that too.
What fucked it up? THE MORALITY! Instead of criticizing something sick and wrong a protagonist did, it had the protagonists do sick things. And the hypocrisy. Having superior and inferior sapient beings in a story while taking jabs at Twilight means you didn't read Twilight.
Second is the lack of "Show, don't tell". Albus Dumbledore is supposedly an evil mastermind and only gets one scene of extreme competence... which worked through Worf Effect, and then Lionheart commented that it was Worf Effect. Similarly, Harrymort is supposed to have a pure heart. Sexual assault, cold-blooded torture and hypocrisy are not pure good! ESPECIALLY when the protagonist does it! Oh, and third, we interrupt our program to present you big fucking lectures. Some do make a little sense, but condoning genocide against real people and pretending you despise Nazis... well, no Nazi admits he is one. Nice try!
Grade: 2.4/10. Very very good grammar for this level of intelligence, great premises and nice worldbuilding. Godawful morality, racism, fundamentalism and horrible, horrible execution of these ideas make this a bad fic.
The rename I gave is because I, like many many others before me, decided to spitefic the spitefic. No, I am not special. In fact, the "Contagion Spiteverse" is leagues ahead of me.
My premise: I often use two characters who deserved better in canon but were still capable to hunt Sues. A man and a woman. The man has gone home and became stronger. The woman also became stronger but stayed on Earth. She learns about the threat of Harrymort and decides to join forces with everyone unfairly wronged by him, as well as call her old ally.
But Harrymort isn't an easy enemy to deal with. He is powerful, ruthless and has an innocent for a vessel!
But there is another evil force, even stronger than Harrymort's. The bloodthirsty Black Legion, led by two of its Four High Generals, use doubles of Albus Dumbledore to control the Wizarding World and ruin Albus if exposed. After Harrymort becomes an annoyance, the Legion decides to intervene itself and destroy him before ruling the wizarding world with an iron fist.
Will our heroes manage to save Harry and the world from the corruption?
What fucked it up? THE MORALITY! Instead of criticizing something sick and wrong a protagonist did, it had the protagonists do sick things. And the hypocrisy. Having superior and inferior sapient beings in a story while taking jabs at Twilight means you didn't read Twilight.
Second is the lack of "Show, don't tell". Albus Dumbledore is supposedly an evil mastermind and only gets one scene of extreme competence... which worked through Worf Effect, and then Lionheart commented that it was Worf Effect. Similarly, Harrymort is supposed to have a pure heart. Sexual assault, cold-blooded torture and hypocrisy are not pure good! ESPECIALLY when the protagonist does it! Oh, and third, we interrupt our program to present you big fucking lectures. Some do make a little sense, but condoning genocide against real people and pretending you despise Nazis... well, no Nazi admits he is one. Nice try!
Grade: 2.4/10. Very very good grammar for this level of intelligence, great premises and nice worldbuilding. Godawful morality, racism, fundamentalism and horrible, horrible execution of these ideas make this a bad fic.
The rename I gave is because I, like many many others before me, decided to spitefic the spitefic. No, I am not special. In fact, the "Contagion Spiteverse" is leagues ahead of me.
My premise: I often use two characters who deserved better in canon but were still capable to hunt Sues. A man and a woman. The man has gone home and became stronger. The woman also became stronger but stayed on Earth. She learns about the threat of Harrymort and decides to join forces with everyone unfairly wronged by him, as well as call her old ally.
But Harrymort isn't an easy enemy to deal with. He is powerful, ruthless and has an innocent for a vessel!
But there is another evil force, even stronger than Harrymort's. The bloodthirsty Black Legion, led by two of its Four High Generals, use doubles of Albus Dumbledore to control the Wizarding World and ruin Albus if exposed. After Harrymort becomes an annoyance, the Legion decides to intervene itself and destroy him before ruling the wizarding world with an iron fist.
Will our heroes manage to save Harry and the world from the corruption?
