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Partially Kissed Villain
Jan. 27th, 2020 09:47 pmOh, the masterpiece of Perfect Lionheart with the awesome morality. A lot of work was put into that spitefic. It could be great. It didn't have horrible grammar, the worldbuild was ok and there was passion. And I didn't mind the many crossovers, I do that too.
What fucked it up? THE MORALITY! Instead of criticizing something sick and wrong a protagonist did, it had the protagonists do sick things. And the hypocrisy. Having superior and inferior sapient beings in a story while taking jabs at Twilight means you didn't read Twilight.
Second is the lack of "Show, don't tell". Albus Dumbledore is supposedly an evil mastermind and only gets one scene of extreme competence... which worked through Worf Effect, and then Lionheart commented that it was Worf Effect. Similarly, Harrymort is supposed to have a pure heart. Sexual assault, cold-blooded torture and hypocrisy are not pure good! ESPECIALLY when the protagonist does it! Oh, and third, we interrupt our program to present you big fucking lectures. Some do make a little sense, but condoning genocide against real people and pretending you despise Nazis... well, no Nazi admits he is one. Nice try!
Grade: 2.4/10. Very very good grammar for this level of intelligence, great premises and nice worldbuilding. Godawful morality, racism, fundamentalism and horrible, horrible execution of these ideas make this a bad fic.
The rename I gave is because I, like many many others before me, decided to spitefic the spitefic. No, I am not special. In fact, the "Contagion Spiteverse" is leagues ahead of me.
My premise: I often use two characters who deserved better in canon but were still capable to hunt Sues. A man and a woman. The man has gone home and became stronger. The woman also became stronger but stayed on Earth. She learns about the threat of Harrymort and decides to join forces with everyone unfairly wronged by him, as well as call her old ally.
But Harrymort isn't an easy enemy to deal with. He is powerful, ruthless and has an innocent for a vessel!
But there is another evil force, even stronger than Harrymort's. The bloodthirsty Black Legion, led by two of its Four High Generals, use doubles of Albus Dumbledore to control the Wizarding World and ruin Albus if exposed. After Harrymort becomes an annoyance, the Legion decides to intervene itself and destroy him before ruling the wizarding world with an iron fist.
Will our heroes manage to save Harry and the world from the corruption?
What fucked it up? THE MORALITY! Instead of criticizing something sick and wrong a protagonist did, it had the protagonists do sick things. And the hypocrisy. Having superior and inferior sapient beings in a story while taking jabs at Twilight means you didn't read Twilight.
Second is the lack of "Show, don't tell". Albus Dumbledore is supposedly an evil mastermind and only gets one scene of extreme competence... which worked through Worf Effect, and then Lionheart commented that it was Worf Effect. Similarly, Harrymort is supposed to have a pure heart. Sexual assault, cold-blooded torture and hypocrisy are not pure good! ESPECIALLY when the protagonist does it! Oh, and third, we interrupt our program to present you big fucking lectures. Some do make a little sense, but condoning genocide against real people and pretending you despise Nazis... well, no Nazi admits he is one. Nice try!
Grade: 2.4/10. Very very good grammar for this level of intelligence, great premises and nice worldbuilding. Godawful morality, racism, fundamentalism and horrible, horrible execution of these ideas make this a bad fic.
The rename I gave is because I, like many many others before me, decided to spitefic the spitefic. No, I am not special. In fact, the "Contagion Spiteverse" is leagues ahead of me.
My premise: I often use two characters who deserved better in canon but were still capable to hunt Sues. A man and a woman. The man has gone home and became stronger. The woman also became stronger but stayed on Earth. She learns about the threat of Harrymort and decides to join forces with everyone unfairly wronged by him, as well as call her old ally.
But Harrymort isn't an easy enemy to deal with. He is powerful, ruthless and has an innocent for a vessel!
But there is another evil force, even stronger than Harrymort's. The bloodthirsty Black Legion, led by two of its Four High Generals, use doubles of Albus Dumbledore to control the Wizarding World and ruin Albus if exposed. After Harrymort becomes an annoyance, the Legion decides to intervene itself and destroy him before ruling the wizarding world with an iron fist.
Will our heroes manage to save Harry and the world from the corruption?
