Death Battle! Kars vs Harrymort!
Apr. 16th, 2020 06:04 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
pan2000Harrymort was enjoying the power-ups he got by fairy magic. He is ready to go for a hunt, wanting to destroy all vampires.
As he went hunting, he heard an "AYAYAYAYAYAYA" in the distance.
He rushed there to get where the music came from. And he saw a man with purple hair being dressed provocatively.
"Who are you, faggot? A minion of Dumbledore? A pedophile? If you are gay, you must be a pedophile!"
The man with the long, purple hair looks confused. "Who is Dumbledore, why do you think I am gay, and who are you?"
"Dumbledore is the source of all evil in the Multiverse, your clothes are gay and I am Harry, champion of the Fairy Queen."
"All evil? Including sending trees in space, where they can't breathe, while they have to, and killing all of them? As I was forcibly sent into space, I floated and floated until I saw those poor trees withering, dying because some moron put them in places without oxygen, carbon dioxide, or atmosphere at all, expecting to produce oxygen by photosynthesis without air already existing. Yeah, that's pointless. I am looking for the idiot who did this."
Harrymort could not believe it. Rants were his speciality, and now he is lectured about science by a strange man that doesn't even know who Dumbledore is. Impossible! He was the wisest man in the world!
But also because... "MY DRYADS! MY IMMORTAL BREEDER MACHINES! YOU KILLED THEM!"
Kars facepalmed. "You made this? Wait, immortal breeder machines? You were making women dryads just to have sex slaves? Me making people vampires for food, for SURVIVAL, was one thing. But this is outright sick and wrong."
"You made vampires? And you eat them?"
"Yes. I am the leader of the Pillar Men, Kars. A deity. The ultimate life form. And was looking for the fool who tried to change all the rules of nature by planting trees in space. They are all dead because of your stupidity. Maybe, considering your goals, you did this out of mercy."
"Mercy is for the weak."
"A lot of vampires think this. Well, you know what vampires truly are? Food."
Harrymort starts ranting about how vampires are disgusting, how he is the perfect warrior and not Kars and how he only wanted the best for his dryads. Over and over and over...
Kars attacked him with his blades. Harrymort got an ugly cut in the stomach and one in the right arm. He retaliated with Avada Kadavra, killing Kars on the spot. "Ha ha ha! Not so ultimate now!"
Then vines wrapped around Harrymort's body. Wooden spears penetrated his back and they wrapped tentacles around his torso. Harrymort casted Fiendfyre to free himself and burned everything, but it was a distraction, since an Avada Kadavra killed him on the spot.
The real Kars appeared. "Pathetic. You killed just my double. I could study your killing curse and copy it. Now, I conquered the Sun. And soon, I will make sure my kind rules again!"
As he went hunting, he heard an "AYAYAYAYAYAYA" in the distance.
He rushed there to get where the music came from. And he saw a man with purple hair being dressed provocatively.
"Who are you, faggot? A minion of Dumbledore? A pedophile? If you are gay, you must be a pedophile!"
The man with the long, purple hair looks confused. "Who is Dumbledore, why do you think I am gay, and who are you?"
"Dumbledore is the source of all evil in the Multiverse, your clothes are gay and I am Harry, champion of the Fairy Queen."
"All evil? Including sending trees in space, where they can't breathe, while they have to, and killing all of them? As I was forcibly sent into space, I floated and floated until I saw those poor trees withering, dying because some moron put them in places without oxygen, carbon dioxide, or atmosphere at all, expecting to produce oxygen by photosynthesis without air already existing. Yeah, that's pointless. I am looking for the idiot who did this."
Harrymort could not believe it. Rants were his speciality, and now he is lectured about science by a strange man that doesn't even know who Dumbledore is. Impossible! He was the wisest man in the world!
But also because... "MY DRYADS! MY IMMORTAL BREEDER MACHINES! YOU KILLED THEM!"
Kars facepalmed. "You made this? Wait, immortal breeder machines? You were making women dryads just to have sex slaves? Me making people vampires for food, for SURVIVAL, was one thing. But this is outright sick and wrong."
"You made vampires? And you eat them?"
"Yes. I am the leader of the Pillar Men, Kars. A deity. The ultimate life form. And was looking for the fool who tried to change all the rules of nature by planting trees in space. They are all dead because of your stupidity. Maybe, considering your goals, you did this out of mercy."
"Mercy is for the weak."
"A lot of vampires think this. Well, you know what vampires truly are? Food."
Harrymort starts ranting about how vampires are disgusting, how he is the perfect warrior and not Kars and how he only wanted the best for his dryads. Over and over and over...
Kars attacked him with his blades. Harrymort got an ugly cut in the stomach and one in the right arm. He retaliated with Avada Kadavra, killing Kars on the spot. "Ha ha ha! Not so ultimate now!"
Then vines wrapped around Harrymort's body. Wooden spears penetrated his back and they wrapped tentacles around his torso. Harrymort casted Fiendfyre to free himself and burned everything, but it was a distraction, since an Avada Kadavra killed him on the spot.
The real Kars appeared. "Pathetic. You killed just my double. I could study your killing curse and copy it. Now, I conquered the Sun. And soon, I will make sure my kind rules again!"
no subject
Date: 2020-04-16 10:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-04-16 10:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-04-16 10:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-04-16 10:34 pm (UTC)Kars would be a Stu himself if 1. Was supposed to be a hero and 2. Didn't have the space weakness. Magma would also do him in if he was stupid.
I tried to spork Harrymort with another Jojo villain, Dio... Only to realise Dio would probably like him. Except the "immortal sex slaves" part, Dio only turns others for troops.
no subject
Date: 2020-04-16 10:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-04-17 01:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-04-17 01:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-04-17 02:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-04-17 03:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-04-18 10:03 am (UTC)Also, sword boys opposing Harrymort here.
https://das-sporking2.dreamwidth.org/1630998.html?thread=42325526#cmt42325526