[personal profile] pan2000
A white man with dark brown hair and a grey top that has "Never Surrender" on it with red letters runs into the studio of the Nickel Samurai.

"Can I speak with the star?"

The manager, a blonde woman with glasses, sighs. "Yeah, the 'star'. Be careful."

"I know what I will find, Mrs. Andrews. I just want to see your client as a hero of justice."

"Ok, you are delusional."

The man sees the star in his samurai costume. "Hello! Came to say I am a huge fan of yours!"

The actor looks at his wristwatch. "Like, you want an autograph, dude?"

"Actually, I want you to be the hero of justice you pretend to be in your show."

"You are out of your mind, dude."

The young man shows the actor a device he has himself. "No. You see this? This will send you to another world. There is a great evil you will have to face, and only you are worthy of facing it."

"B... but like, I am not a hero, dude!"

"Trust me... coming from another world, I know the truth. Just be yourself, and you will triumph."

"Ok, dude, let me consult my manager."

"She says?"

"To get going as fast as possible!"

"I knew I could count on you."

As the star steps into the portal, the other man turns to the thing called fourth wall. "You know, I almost feel sorry for these dryads."

The actor falls just outside of Godric's Hollow, where he is approached by two Dryads.

"Hello, stranger. Who are you?"

"My name is Matt Engarde, my fair ladies. And you are?"

"We are loyal followers of the Boy Who Lived! Are you one of the Headbastard's servants?"

"Like, who is the Headbastard, dude?"

"Oh, Dumbledore. The greatest evil who ever existed! Our job is to love our master, Harry, and help him repopulate the fairy race, as well as help overthrow the Twinkling Tyrant."

"That sounds pretty heroic, dude!"

Of course, in reality, his thoughts were different.

"He really uses his followers as sex slaves? And these idiots trust him? No, they can't be that weak! Even I didn't use Celeste, my foolish ex, as a breeding machine!"

But instead, he folds his arms and says "Can I join your struggle against evil?"

"You see, The Boy Who Lived doesn't truly appreciate other men. He acts like they will steal us or something." the Dryads giggle mechanically in unison.

Matt groans. "Like, he must be really, really insecure, dude! How many times did women put a restraining order on him?" .

"Oh, Harry is awesome! And he banned women putting restraining orders to men in his cities, because he knows we will choose him out of our own free will!"

Matt's thoughts were not known to the two dryads. "Ok, now I get why I was chosen. Anyone more vulnerable to emotions would have snapped right now."

"Just tell me, how is Harry so powerful, dude?" the man asks.

"Oh, we are fae. Above humanity and its evils. And belief can give us everything we desire."

"Interesting. Very interesting."

The Dryads had their critical thinking reduced to zero, and so thought the charming white guy not working for Dumbledore is no threat to Harrymort at all. And they were so vain that made the man in front of them almost look sane.

Almost.
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pan2000

May 2024

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