Sue Profile: Bella Swan

Power: 0/10(human), 7/10(vampire), 10/10(vampire, in her head)
Influence: 10/10
Vileness: 8/10

Oh, one very classic Sue. Bella is regarded by many as a self-insert and reader-insert... and that's a big insult to women.

Really, who would relate to someone who hates their own species, is abused and loves it, is a dick to their parents and the readers could probably beat in a fight?

She sets a standard for weak women. She is a jerk to people who actually care about her and try to help her, and downright spineless to people who abuse her. When her abusive boyfriend leaves her, she tries to lure him back by going to potential rapists or attempts suicide. Genius.

She also does nothing but whine about being a human and mortal for 3.5 whole BOOKS. Woe to anyone who wants to cheer her up.

Her whole life revolves around Edward. The vampire who wants first to drink her blood, watches her in her sleep and wants to read her mind, and also is very very abusive. And she considers all of this true love.

Of course, it's not just stupidity. She has an evil plan that includes Edward. Soon, she will be a vampire, beautiful, powerful, immortal! She won't be stuck in a human body! She will no longer die from old age! She will have all the power in the world! She will ascend to godhood by sacrificing her soul! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Yeah, people who sell their souls because they want power and immortality are not heroes.

And yet, despite being a nice guide about how girls should NOT behave, she somehow has the boys flocking around her. Of course, they are a manipulating misanthrope and a sexual deviant, so I suppose evil attracts evil? She is considered the center of the world, just like Rebora, only at least Rebora DOES things to back it up, like killing the main antagonist. We are also told that Bella is selfless, but she uses men to gain immortality... selflessly!

At least her series provide a likable character, Leah, who is treated like shit for the crime of hating Bella.

While Bella is, again, loved by everybody and considered a paragon of virtue while acting like a villain.

Likes: Whining, bitching, taking without giving a thing, immortality, Edward, being the center of the world, vampires, power.
Dislikes: Doing things, her humanity (if she ever had any), other humans, being ignored, blonde women, old people and age.

Stupid, Slow, Pathetic and Human

In my verse, Finn won't shut up about how he put Bella down. How did he actually do it? Well, it wasn't a battle worth retelling...

Bella couldn't believe it! That stupid she-wolf was a complete bitch who hated her glorious kind. All she did was fuck things up, and she disrespected the glorious supernatural bonds of true love.

How could she have a friend? And it was one of these worthless humans! She was not surprised when she heard how he was.

"Of course. He is from an inferior race and species, he would befriend that foolish dog!"

But her blood boiled as she heard what they did in Volterra. Aro was dead. All the Volturi were dead, and the vampires started being hunted by humans. The sparkly kind has become endangered species.

No. Humans have no right to kill vampires. Only vampires have the right to kill humans. Vampires are superior.

She always struggled not to eat people. After all, she wanted to maintain a holier-than-thou image while she still looked down on humans and condoned their murder.

But this man... he put her entire species in danger. He even killed a Vampire Lord, Caius! Granted, most kills were from Leah, but still!

Bella pecks her abusive husband on the cheek. "Edward... I am going for a hunt."

"Don't forget to fetch some animal blood for me and our dearest daughter!"

"I am not going for animals, Edward. I am going to save our kind."

With her enhanced senses, Bella managed to pinpoint the man quickly. He was taking a walk with Leah.

Of course. The worthless screw-up would find a pet in order to feel like she is someone important.

She had to admit though, he smells delicious. And his soul... she can't comprehend what it has exactly.

She moves faster than the human eye can see and snatches the man up. She finds a dead end, where nobody is watching, and decides to toy with the man first.

"So, it's you who exposed us to the world. I am Bella Swan, heroine of the vampires, and decided to have a little snack. What's your name? Just because... you know, I want to tell everyone who the human who gave his superiors so much trouble was."

"Finn. Just Finn. And you are not above us."

Bella starts pinching him in many different places. "Really? Tell me, how are humans superior or even equal? You stand no chance against us! We are eternally young, glorious, glorious immortals! You are just our pets, food and currency. I should not treat you like a rival." She strokes his cheek as her appetite grows.

She continues gloating. "I am a hero of the vampires. With my mind shield, I saved many covens from the Volturi. They feared my power. I still don't know how you, even with the help of a small bitch of a wolf, managed to slaughter them. And how you still manage to kill vampires. It's not a good idea to anger your gods, you know...

You are stupid, weak, slow and human, and you are going to die because of it!"

Her epic speech is disrupted by what she would consider a hot stake of light emerging through her cold heart.

Lightsabers. Sharper than diamond. Made of light. Hot as fire. Staking any vampire with them is lethal.

"When you are about to kill someone, kill them. Don't gloat."

Edward had a supernatural bond with Bella. He felt her death. At that moment, nothing else mattered. Not even Nessie. He committed suicide. He set himself on fire.

Bella passed the way she lived. Not fighting at all.