Spitefic: Sorrow Against Laughter

[pan2000]

Pinkie and Brownie stand against each other, as if they are cowboys ready to draw.

Then Brownie attacks! "Negative Hollow!"

And negative ghosts get through Pinkie, only to drop down and start disintegrating, while laughing.

Pinkie draws a mallet from hammerspace and smashes Brownie hard into the ground.

Then she makes firecrackers appear behind her. "Smile!"

And they strike a few Sorrows, making them vanish.

Brownie attempts to throw a punch, but Pinkie dodges it and makes her slip on soap, before drawing a baseball bat and sending her flying away. "HOME RUN!"

A Sorrow is about to suck her soul, but an anvil drops on its head.

However, it's still her against a whole squad. The Agents have run past her and shoot at the helpless allies. Finn, Leah, Rey, Poe, all of them are shot by pistol fire.

However, their magical armors are sturdy and save their lives. Even Twilight gets shot once, but her armor and training in Heaven allows her to survive.

Pinkie sees the Agents shooting her friends. "No... don't you dare hurt them!"

She remembers when Lightning came to her, Twilight's body in his arms.

Never again.

She draws a few whips from liquorice and wraps the legs of a few Agents.

The rest keep shooting, but Pinkie's friends don't have the strength to fight back. So far, Finn and Leah survived six bullets each, while Poe and Rey survived three each.

Pinkie blows a bubblegum that engulfs most Agents and makes them a wheel. She proceeds to roll them away from her friends.

"I wanted to chew bubblegum and kick ass. Oh well, looks like I am out of ass!" Pinkie taunts.

The remaining Agents turn their attention to her, and they all open fire ruthlessly.

Pinkie simply raises balloons in front of them, which pop, releasing ink that blinds them and slows them down. Then she makes them step on Lego bricks.

The Agents, too weakened, run away, leaving Pinkie alone against the Sorrows.

And as they try to feed on the emotions of the still unnaturally depressed Stormwolf, preying on everyone's existing insecurities, Pinkie holds them off with her firecrackers.

However, Brownie has recovered, and she starts crying. She directs her tears at Pinkie, and they melt her Starfleet armor quickly.

"My tears are toxic, corrosive. I am afraid, Pinkie, it's time for everyone to mourn you.

You fought well, as the Element of Laughter. But alas, laughter needs friends, while sorrow consumes everyone who is alone. And at this moment, you are on your own."

The Sorrows surround Pinkie, and their wails force her on her knees. Then Brownie inflicts a wound in her arm through her tears and summons more Sorrows by her side.

Pinkie has to play her final trump card.

"Unfortunatly for you, laughter can drive any sorrow away!"

She draws a trumpet from hammerspace and starts playing happy music.

Which then becomes something inspiring.

"I got a dream about the day of peace,
The first step is now about to come.
Even while facing the horrors of war,
I feel like we will manage to overcome.

Because when there is sorrow in this planet,
We can always find a way to help,
And if we can't find some laughs
We can still try to fight,
And a fight is the best next thing,
After trying to spread happiness,
Resisting is the next best thing.

And it's all we really got tonight,
Let's rise, resist,
Tonight,
We have to each other assist,
Tonight,
Tonight is what it means to resist, tonight is what it means to resist!"

A Sorrow is about to suck the emotions off Finn. Who remembers something through the song.

"No! My friends need me! They love me, and I love them too!"

And a Hot Shot obliterates the Sorrow.

Another Sorrow goes for Leah, who stands tall and proud.

"No! I left my pack because I was too good for them! And I am worthy of a hero, even if I can't have kids!"

With once punch the Sorrow flies away.

Poe glares at an attacking Sorrow.

"Don't mess with me. I am the leader of the Resistance, the worthy successor of Leia. And I will make you remember that!" With a UV Beam the Sorrow is down!

Two Sorrows come for Rey, thinking they can overpower the person who fell first to their tricks as a team.

But alas, Rey regains her courage.

"I am not the strongest just for my pride! My strength is to protect others! And I will be damned if I don't help my friends! They accepted me back due to my own merits, and I refuse to fail them!"

In a single swing, both Sorrows go down.

Pinkie keeps singing while dodging the next tears.

"Let the revolt begin, let the fire get started,
We are fighting for the helpless and the broken-hearted!
Let the revolt begin, let the fire get started,
We are fighting for the desperate and the broken-hearted!

It takes a song in the darkness for the magic to come,
But no matter what it seems, tonight is what it means to resist!"

Fireworks come from behind Pinkie as she draws a guitar and starts playing.

The Sorrows are starting to retreat.

Spike has already recovered.

"I might have done some things wrong, but I am still a good husband, and will improve myself! I can change! And besides, I rejected my sister's evil! I am the Dragon Knight!

DRAGON FLAMEWHEEL!"

And he sends five Sorrows flying. "Strike, baby!"

Meanwhile, Twilight is trying to recover, but a Sorrow tells her her death was her own fault, she disobeyed orders. And that she also accomplished nothing.

"No... that's not right.

My death was not my fault. I know there was a whole conspiracy behind it. And besides, someone had to protect my mentor!

And nothing? I nearly won! And besides? My friends and Celestia could still live. And I also got to train and study in Heaven.

I did what was right. What anyone would do in my hooves. And while I can be reckless alone, I always have my friends to help me, and help them as well!

Which I am going to do again!"

Twilight fires a purple beam from her horn through the Sorrow.

This leaves Pinkie to duel with Brownie.

And the former dyes the latter blue.

"What's wrong? Are you feeling blue, like you make others do?"

"That's not funny! You are stupid! You should take things seriously like me!" Brownie yells, her scream stunning Pinkie.

However, seeing Seth axing a Hollow and rushing at her, she fires a tear at him. He barely dodges it, but it gives Pinkie time to recover.

"As you said, friends can help against sorrow. And that's why my friends make me so powerful... while you are just silly!"

And Pinkie smashes her dark counterpart with her biggest mallet before she grabs her and gives her a hug.

"Here, here, let me comfort you."

So, to stay miserable and thus powerful, Brownie starts whining.

"Waaaah! I am stupid, slow and equine, and will die because of it!

But of course I will! Nothing ever goes right for me! You cannot understand, Pinkie! Nobody can understand meeeee!

Changes ruined my life! I am all alone because of CHANGES!"

Pinkie puts a whistle in her mouth and makes her whistle, shutting her up and saving the ears of everyone.

And Brownie, seeing she has no longer a chance of winning, runs away with her tail between her legs.

The Sorrows that remain follow her.

"And never come back, ugly spirits!" Rainbow taunts.

After their triumph, Stormwolf does what they need to do.

A group hug that involves everyone.

"So, I think it's time to report our great success!" Finn proposes.

"Which is all thanks to Sugarcube!" Rainbow tells him. "She saved us all today!"

"Ah want my nickname of her back!" Applejack teases her.

Poe is already taking notes. "Inspiring allies through music. That can be effective!"

Then he turns to Pinkie. "Can I use your song to help my friends? In case we need to part ways?"

"While I don't want us two to part ways, Poe, feel free to! I will never be offended about it!" Pinkie tells him and hugs him immediately.

She looks around to see if anyone scoffs at her. And once she sees nobody does, she becomes even happier.

"Anyway," Ace Ray comments "the enemy is not bouncing back from this."

---

Two hours later, the spies have reached the enemy base.

"Your plan might have been smelly, but it worked!" Gray tells Grimer.

"Well, for some reason the sewers in certain planets are big enough for a sewer worker to fit in. And in this case, it's a network for the Legion as well." Grimer replies. "Scratch the "for some reason", I can see why they are big.

Q gestures for both to shut up as they watch the enemy council gathering.

Their leader is Vice President Flatterescu, who is getting reports. He has short brown hair and wears sunglasses all the time.

"Brownie, you are telling me you lost to a jester because decided to sing? This is just pathetic! The Doctor will not be happy about this.

Actually, scratch that, fuck that coward. Bray will not be happy about this."

Trixie and Grimer flinch in the mention of the name.

Alix asks what's wrong.

"This name..." Trixie replies "is a name associated with evil! I don't know why the Legion is helping such beings, but it cannot be good. They must be stopped now."

"Then we have to plan." Q tells her.

Flatterescu continues. "Return back to your allies, and don't you dare lie to your master. I have other matters to attend to."

After he hangs up the line, he turns to the rest of the council, some human cultists who are wearing red hoods, as well as other humans who have white suits and blasters.

"So, Peace Brigade, how did persuading Mayor Paulesqua go?" he asks.

"Not too well. Since Starfleet saved her from wrongful imprisonment by Titan, she is loyal to her, and no bribes can convince her. Nor us showing her Starfleet makes everyone follow their culture only.

Then again, Titan's agent had to add a few lies in her accusations about Starfleet, and now anyone who only tells the truth has no credibility!" a member reports.

"Then we will imprison her until she changes her mind. And the Doctor will experiment on her until she is so loyal to us there will be no need for an impostor.

Once I hand her and the President, Anestasia, to Kudos, he will give me the promotion I deserve. Soon, I will have complete authority over this planet."

The other members of the council give him a flat look.

"I mean we will have complete authority over this planet" Flatterescu corrects.

Suddenly, he gets a holocall.

"Oh, it must be the Doctor.

Doctor, I am so happy to hear your beautiful voice. For what do you grace my ears with your presence?"

"Quit the flattery and get to work. We need reinforcements for Eutracia, Vice President. I sent the remnants of the Minions of the once proud Coven of Sorceresses to fetch me the Prince and the Princess of the land, so I could give them to Bray in exchange for him helping us with his Mean Six.

Alas, their father, King Nicholas, was too well-prepared for such an invasion, and due to sending scouts to secure his son's coronation, he saw the attack coming and the royal guards ambushed them from both sides.

Worse, the royal brats used some weak, but still relatively useful magic, and due to us having to weaken the Minions to ensure they will serve us, we had too few forces.

So, I want you to help our next attempt with the Peace Brigade. If you are not there in time, I will make you powerful, but not in a way you desire."

The Vice President flinches. "I will send as many forces as I can. Though we are under attack, and not even the forces of the Great Order of Apocalyptic Times could stop the intruders!"

"Which. Intruders?" Kudos asks.

"It's the full force of Stormwolf AND the Mane Six."

"Change of plans. You all hold them off, I go to Eutracia personally. And if I learn you lost but escaped with your life, well... I will have no use for you, so the Yuuzhan Vong will deal with you."

"I understand, Doctor"

As the hologram closes, suddenly a swarm of mice attacks everyone in the room.

"Get them out! Get them out!"

The Peace Brigade panics and some of them cower in the corners, but others open fire, only for the mice to dodge.

A cultist axes a mouse, but the axe gets through it.

"It's an illusion! Don't panic, it's just an illusion!" he tells the others.

And then a mouse bites his hiney and makes him scream in pain.

"OW! That was not an illusion!"

"Which are the real ones?"

"Fire away!"

"Stomp them!"

The Vice President smells the air and points at a single mouse. "This is the real one! Att..."

And a bullet from a Barett gets through his head, making him slump on his desk.

Grimer then smashes the bars of the vent, landing on top of a cultist who is about to shoot Little Finn.

Gray Mind Tricks several cultists. "You will all kill each other."

"Damn, this is brutal, Gray!" Trixie tells her.

"Okay, then I have something else. You will stop being cultists and tell us everything you know about Bray and Eutracia!"

"We will stop being cultists and tell you everything we know about Bray and Eutracia!"

Alix throws three knives and kills three members of the Peace Brigade, then turns into a wolf and mauls a few Brigade membeds who get too close to Grimer.

Grimer blinds a cultist with a Mud Shot, making him miss a thrown axe, then takes him out with a hard punch.

Q sends his Machine Gun drones and guns down the rest of the foes. A cultist throws an axe and damages one of the drones, only for the inventor's sniper rifle to pierce his brain.

Trixie is shot by a Brigade member, but it was just her clone, and the real her punches him out from behind.

Only a few foes remain.

One of them, Cutthroatofsky, resists Gray's mind control and attacks her with his curved sword. She parries him with her Gunblade.

A council member removes his red hood and reveals a Yuuzhan Vong, who strikes Grimer hard with his amphistaff. Then he turns it into a whip and starts beating him until Q shoots him dead with his sniper rifle.

Two Peace Brigade members draw sniper rifles themselves, but Grimer throws his wrench and strikes the further one in the side of the head, then shoulderbashes the other one.

After an inconclusive round, Gray uses the Way of the Sword and Tongue at her foe.

"You have all the dignity of a Goblin!"

"Oh yeah?"

Gray takes the upper hand, going fully on the offensive. "I love non-Fanterrans."

And soon, the two lock blades. Cutthroatofsky attacks with a hidden Gladius, stabbing Gray in the gut, then lands a roundhouse kick there.

"Nobody has ever drawn my blood, and nobody ever will!" he boasts as he prepares the killing blow.

"You run THAT fast?" Gray answers. Her remark distracts him for a second, allowing her to shoot him in the stomach and finish him off with a Leap Attack.

"Wow, it worked!" Gray comments.

As Little Finn chases a female cultist off, Trixie disarms another woman with a well placed thrown card.

"We did it! Metros is free!" Alix tells everyone as she reverts to human form, having stabbed the last enemy.

"No. You didn't."

And the Vice President's head rises, his sunglasses broken, revealing red eyes as his skin gets paler.

He presses a button and an elevator rises, revealing a fearsome Pike, a humanoid robot wielding a minigun, as well as a few armed Agents, Moblins and Metalfos Grunts.

"That bullet was not nice at all!"

---

In the elderly woman's mansion, she congratulates everyone.

"Now we can mourn our dead in peace, and ensure proper burials. Thank you all, for ridding the world of such great evil.

Want to drink with me?"

Rey whispers something.

"We will pass" Poe replies. "The money, food, water and especially satisfaction of ridding the graveyard of the evil are all enough."

As they leave, Black Cat calls Rey in his room.

"I want us two to be alone for this."

Finn looks at her and talks through telepathy. "Should we come too?"

"No, I can handle him, and I want to play dumb."

Rey gets to the butler's room and he locks the door.

"What did you tell Poe?"

"That we are not thirsty."

"I can't trust you. You seemed to be reading my mind. Also, I wanted you to fail. You see, I inherit my mistress' money, and now you take some of my fortune.

You did me enough damage. And I will silence you before you can do anything else!" He draws metal claws, which cut through the walls of stone, and dances for a short while.

"Out of the Bag."

And suddenly, he moves far faster than the human eye can see, cutting everything in the room blindly.

He knows that if Rey dies, he can pin it on her and say it's self-defense.

However, Rey is a great Jedi, and she senses his every move. When he comes too close, she cuts off his claws with two fast saber slashes and kicks him hard in the face.

Then she points her saber at his throat. "You are under arrest."

---

Five minutes later, the spies are cornered.

They have all taken cover behind the table, killing everyone who surrounds them. But they can't get out because, while the Machine Gun Drones have taken out most of the Grunts, the Pike has gunned them all down.

And now it prepares to fire a grenade.

Q, knowing what will happen if the grenade is thrown, shoots it while it's in the machine's hands, thanking God it takes too much time to throw a grenade.

This allows Alix to throw a barrage of knives and further weaken the Pike before charging at it with a new set of daggers, which she has doused in water to further damage robots.

When she gets too close, the Pike shoots her in the shoulder and stuns her. It would fill her with lead if not for Little Finn, who rushes past them and strikes the machine with Iron Tail.

At the same time, Flatterescu is viciously trying to hit Trixie, but she keeps making illusions, fooling him.

At one point, he sees five Trixies at once. And he remembers how he spotted the real mouse before.

So, he pauses and calms down. Now calmer, he starts smelling the air. And he darts at a terrifying speed, grabbing the real Trixie by the throat.

"Did you forget I am a vampire?"

Q has enough. He can't fire the UV Beam because he will hit Trixie... except if he aims at his feet. Which he does, causing enough pain to make him drop Trixie and charge right at him.

A panicked UV Beam point-blank, because the Vice President got that close before Q fired again, saves Q's life at the last half of the last second.

"Phew!"

As Gray shoots a few Moblins dead, Grimer throws mud at the sensors the Metalfos have in their eyes, then dismantles them with his wrench.

And the Pike falls last, as Alix throws a knife filled with water in its throat, with Little Finn's tail preventing it from getting too many clear shots.

"Ok, NOW we can say Metros is finally free!"

---

With the Legion repelled after several fights, Metros is saved.

President Anestasia gives a medal to Q for killing the treacherous Vice President, Trixie for her successful ambush, Rey for beating the Cemetery Shade and Black Cat, and two at Pinkie for basically winning the front on Metros.

And Mayor Paulesqua tells them that, despite Stormwolf being enemies of Starfleet, she will allow both sides, and only them, in the planet.

However, neither Titan's loyalists nor the Legion will be acceptable.

"So... once we celebrate, where should we go next?" Finn asks.

"Hedra's underground is still resisting" Rainbow tells him. "I think we should go there next. But sadly, the fastest way is through the asteroid field of Blisstonia."

"Strange name for an asteroid field" Poe comments.

"Well, it was a planet Titan's forces got blown up. Just like the original Unicornicopia" Rainbow explains. "Dyno and Myte did win against Titan's forces, and we did save all the natives, but it was too late for the planet.

Titan actually caused us trouble then. Once, while his apprentice, Starlight, was attacking Celestia, I had to fight off a Feral Werewolf, which was extremely fast and was sent to assassinate Lightning as a kid. Good thing I stopped him.

Even our minor allies helped. The battle between the Nickel Samurai and the Jamming Ninja was one that I wish I could see."

Adrian has a question. "Nickel Samurai and Jamming Ninja? Are they the bastards I am thinking of?"

"Well, one was a schemer who was controlling all the criminal activities in our planet and the other was working for Titan, brought to life out of pure spite for his foe, so maybe?" Rarity answers.

Gray comes, having finished interrogating the hypnotized cultists.

"Finn, it's a shame you have no hypnosis. It helps a lot... and sadly, Eutracia needs our help too.

The Legion plans to use what forces of evil are there to capture the prince and princess of the land, so they can sacrifice them to revive an ancient demon.

They will also use a few new weapons. Worst of all, Kudos himself will lead the charge.

I think we should send a powerful force there."

"I agree. While I think we will need all Equestrians for Hedra, no matter how much some of you want to break Kudos' face..."

"Just because ah endorse friendship doesn't mean ah plan to let the bully get away with what he has done to us!" Applejack interrupts.

"I didn't say you are in the wrong" Finn continues. "Anyway, I think a whole planet needs more forces.

But I think Leah, Emily, Little Finn, Seth, the Poet and Alix will be able to handle the menace in Eutracia."

"All alone?"

"Of course not! Two hundred soldiers will accompany you!" Finn tells them. "Half of them Resistance Troopers, and half of them Equestrian soldiers.

But, I will also send Karé and two B-Wings with you. Kudos WILL have some bioweapon with him, apart from his Compensator.

And we need the firepower of a Black Squadron member if he has a Hunter.

May the Force be with you."

And before the two teams part ways, Finn and Leah kiss for good luck.