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pan2000Hello there! Today I am going to spork one of the worst Starfleet chapters. Finn, Poe and Jannah return, as well as Ace Ray!
All: Hi!
Pan: Let's begin!
Starfleet: The greatest fighting force in all the dimensional galaxy, headed by Lightning Dawn and his many friends. Together they had countless adventures, traveled to many worlds, made new friends, and also fought many great evils.
Pan: Dimensional galaxy? Someone was slacking off at Physics. Also, for an anti-friendship fic, it sure shows friends front and center.
Finn: I bet our old Jedi Order was stronger.
Even when then the world seemed at peace, Starfleet continued to train and remain on constant vigil for any new foes that would dare reveal themselves and to do no good.
Poe: On the one hand, can't these people have peace? We all have to calm down sometimes. On the other hand, this is a warrior race with many foes, so I will not condemn them.
Today, on planet United Equestria, was the first day of spring. All the snow had melted, all the animals were starting to awaken from hibernation, and flowers were blooming,
Pan: It's a wondeful day outside. Birds are singing, flowers are blooming...
Ace Ray: In days like these, tyrants like Starfleet...
Finn:Not yet. Remember, they needed an excuse to arrest you!
but in the training grounds of New Canterlot Palace, new recruits to the force were doing their morning warmups, and sparing.
Pan: Sparring!
All were under the watchful eyes of Commander Lightning Dawn, Krysta, and their royal majesties, Grand Ruler Celesto and Queen Celestia, and they were growing quite concerned at what they were seeing…!
Finn: Honestly, I think Lightning is closer to Krysta than his own wife. I ship them.
Recently, the new recruits had begun to slip up, and do poorly at their training-- they couldn’t seem to hold their stances, stay focussed on targets, or channel their inner strength and energy good enough.
“What’s the matter with them?” Krysta wondered aloud “Usually the new recruits are all peppy and willing to go through all this.”
Poe: That their superiors say that they are always the best and that there is no way they can catch up to them?
“We already know what the trouble is,” said Lightning “…It’s their lack of confidence.”
Their majesties agreed, and Grand Ruler spoke, “Practically everyone on this planet knows of Lightning and his friends being Starfleet’s best fighters, and all the massive amount of evils they managed to defeat. They seem to feel that they will never be able to be as good as they are, and it’s slowing them up.”
Pan: I think I will give up on being a grammar Nazi, except if it's a complete gem like Swift's Freudian Slip.
Poe: Called it. I knew they just feared they would never catch up.
Down below in the training yard, some of the cadets began to fumble and fall flat on their faces.
“No, no, no…!” cried the instructor “Come on cadets, try again.”
“What’s the point?” snapped one Equestrian pony “I’ll never be as good as Commander Lightning Dawn.”
Pan: This jab at Equestrians is actually subtle. And who knows? You might surpass him!
Even a couple of Space Alicorns felt the same way, “He’s the least of our problems. His friends are all just as powerful.”
“They got the powers of Harmony, and Lightning can become an Enticorn. None of us could ever come close to that.”
Pan: Is this... some Unicornicopians being inferior to some Equestrians? Well, Mykan, I will not interrupt you making something right by probable accident. This right here is anti-racist.
The instructor took no pity with their whining “That’s fool talk! We don’t train whiners here in Starfleet we train you to be strong in body and in mind. Now you shake off this fool talk and you try again.”
Pan: That's realistic in an army. Both the complaints of the soldiers and the instructor's rebuttal. I can sympathize.
So the cadets continued to train.
Lightning sighed with dismay at all this, “If those cadets keep losing their confidence, they’ll never make the force. They’d be useless in the fields and be easy targets for their enemies.”
Finn: He is not wrong. This is the reason the Stormtroopers lost so many against the Resistance. They, no, we, were abused all the time and were trained to be killed. We had no motivation except for some fanatics like Nines.
Poe: Meanwhile, we made sure the morale of the Resistance was always high and Leia preached about hope all the time. And I did the same.
Celestia looked down at the training yard and she could see one cadet who seemed to have loads of confidence.
…A white unicorn pony with a blonde mane. His name was Striker, and he wore dark navy blue armor, and his cutie mark drawing was that of a strong fist that was glowing, showing he was excellent in strength.
Jannah: ... did we mention he was a heavy hitter?
Striker was really at the top of his game. He never lost his balance, he hit every skeet target that came his way, but unfortunately he had a rather bad attitude, especially when it came to the sparring session.
Ace: He is the perfect Starfleet member, in short. Lightning is also a dick to those he finds inferior.
He defeated his opponents so easily, mostly because he was facing the shaken cadets that couldn’t concentrate well, and he would even go as far as to tease them.
“Wimp!
Pathetic!
You’re all a bunch of silly weaklings. It wouldn’t surprise me if I made your superior right off the bat.”
Jannah: This is cowardly, Striker. Just because you hit the weak, you are not strong.
This warranted much aggravation from his fellow cadets. One of them, who was not a shaken cadet even called him out on his attitude. “Hey! Give them a break! They’re trying their best.”
Pan: I like this cadet.
Striker glared nastily at the cadet, “Well maybe they’re just not trying hard enough. Maybe they just not strong enough like I am…”
Poe: At this point, I think even Starfleet would get pissed off with this bully.
A moment of silence followed, and then almost without warning, Striker jump kicked at the cadet, forcing him to defend himself and the two nearly engaged in an illegal brawl, but the instructors intervened.
“Stop this!” the head trainer shouted, and used his magic to halt Striker in mid-air. “What is your malfunction, Striker? You should know better than to start fights like that! Now hit the showers!”
Ace Ray: Woah. Didn't know being an asshole had limits in them.
Striker was set down, and growled at the instructors and his fellow cadet, but he went off as told.
Up in the palace, the gang was all livid at the attitude they had just seen. “Perhaps I spoke too soon.” said Celestia, and Lightning agreed, “Striker may have confidence, but that attitude of his leaves much to be desired to be accepted into Starfleet. All he seems to care about is strength and getting stronger, and he doesn’t get along well with others.
…I’m going to have to dismiss him.”
Finn: If you wanna know why I spared him, this is why.
Pan: I think he is one of those rare Stus that becomes progressively less bad.
Grand Ruler placed his hand on Lightning’s shoulder, “Well said, Commander. We’ll leave you to it. Right now, we must go and prepare ourselves. We’re expecting a special guest today.”
“Oh, right… that queen from the planet Ainzul.” said Krysta.
Pan: And now the shitty is coming.
Celestia nodded “Queen Mowaza, we plan to sign a treaty of alliance with her people, and she is coming to entrust us with a special task to help seal the contract. We aren’t sure what it is yet, but it sounds very important; serious even.”
Lightning and Krysta felt curious, but decided not to bother. For now, Lightning had his duty to do.
Jannah: I already am scared.
Later, after sundown all of Lightning’s friends and his family had come to help personally welcome the arrival of the queen.
“Oooh… this is so exciting!” cried Pinkie Pie as she leapt for joy.
Pan: Trust me. IT'S NOT.
“Easy, Pinkie Pie,” said Artie “We got to put on our game faces now.”
Rarity and Fluttershy were actually duplicate droids Professor Brain had built for them just as he did for Starla Shine the previous year. The ladies were six months pregnant, and had recently gone on maternity leave. This meant no fighting, no unnecessary space traveling, or super hyper activities.
The ladies were at home, controlling their droids by the control-systems.
Ace Ray: ...yet, while HAVING the technology, they DO NOT HAVE SPACESHIPS.
Poe: In the timeline we are from, they do. Maybe installed after the brainwashing.
Rhymey spoke to Fluttershy,
“If you want me to come home or if you’re feeling sickly,
Just say the word and I’ll be there very quickly.”
“Oh, honey, you’re worrying too much.” his wife answered through the droid “I’ll be just fine. Angel and the other animals are here to help me.”
Pan: Nice to see Rhymey giving a shit about his wife.
Spike then opened his mouth to speak, but Rarity hushed him, “I’m just fine too, darling. You needn’t worry.”
“Yeah, but I’m worried anyway.” Spike teased.
Finn: This would be me if my girlfriend was pregnant.
Pan: Trust me, you don't want the author to find about you. You will blow up planets and then kill yourself for not hooking up with Rey, just to make her suffer.
Starla Shine was there in person, not wanting to miss such an important meeting. She had brought her and Lightning’s six-month old son, Shining Light with them, and dropping him off at the palace daycare.
She and Lightning held hands and felt happy for the couples, as it reminded them of how they felt when they were expecting their baby.
Finn: And Krysta was very jealous.
Buddy Rose smiled at them too.
“How’s Tree Hugger doing?” asked Starla.
“She’s fine too.” replied Buddy “I’ve never seen anyone so relaxed and calm while pregnant before. Even her mood swings are hip and soft.
Applejack’s folks are helping care for her while I’m here.”
Poe: Wow, a lot of mares got pregnant.
Applejack giggled softly, “You should see how my Ma treats her. It’s like expectin’ another little foal, even when it ain’t hers.”
Suddenly the big doors opened, “Here come their majesties.” Said Rainbow Dash, and indeed, their majesties, with Princess and a royal guard escort with Captain Shaina came into the throne room.
Pan: With Princess...? I am confused.
Jannah: And Shaina exists. Why do I think I did her a favor by having her fight someone?
“Aten-tion…!” Lightning said to his friends, and they all stood tall and straight in a line.
“Good, very good.” said Grand Ruler “We’re glad you’re all here to witness this event.”
Poe: Good, good (Palpatine voice)
“We wouldn’t miss it for the world, master.” said Lightning.
Suddenly, the royal fanfare sounded.
Pan: They have a good reason not to.
“Ay’ Ay’ Ay’! It’s time!” cried Dyno.
Pan: AYAYAYAYAY... Awaken my masters!
“Si,” added Myte “This is so exciting, but he and the others maintained their stance.
Pan: I never liked the gimmick of speaking in another language sometimes. Feels racist and shows tokenism.
The big doors at the other end of the throne room opened wide as the pony sentries stood to the side, and Captain Shaina and her knights stood to the right side of the red carpet, and Lightning and his team all stood at the other side and saluted.
The Ainzulian party came in. They were creatures that resembled anthropomorphic lions and tigers, and they were all dressed in Chinese-Like attire-- robes, armor…
Jannah: What's "Chinese"?
Pan: All I will say is that this is probably a reference to the Chinese themselves. Also, why don't you bother with actual description? Right now, you look both lazy and racist!
The guards stepped in, and one of them announced, “Her royal majesty: Queen Mowaza, of Ainzul, to negotiate with United Equestria.”
Pan: I wouldn't say to negotiate, given what comes next.
A loud gong was sounded, and she came forth. Queen Mowaza: A beautiful beige lioness, with soft touches of gold streaks round the top her head, and yet her facial features made her seem nearly humanoid completely.
Jannah: This can be uncanny valley if done wrong.
She wore royal red kimono made of silk and satin sleeves with pictures of silver dragons all over. Two white sashes with red Chinese characters worn up and over each shoulder, and a golden headdress placed on her had with beaded strings, and soft curled spikes out the sides.
Pan: Kimono. In people resembling the Chinese. Mykan, while yes, the Chinese robes DID inspire the Kimono, the Kimono itself is Japanese. Also, say ideograms, because while you ARE understandable, you have made obvious what inspired your Anizulians.
She bowed gracefully to everyone present. “Greetings, I am Mowaza.”
Poe: Queen Mowaza.
Pan: Foreshadowing...
Everyone bowed to her, and their majesties extended their welcome to her. “We are glad you made it safely, your highness.” said Grand Ruler.
Ace Ray: Starfleet might be good on paper. But in pracice, I am afraid of the treaty.
Jannah: You should be.
“As am I, too.” replied Mowaza.
“My wife, Queen Celestia,”
Celestia bowed, “My sister, Princess Luna.”
Luna bowed, “Our right hand fighter, Commander Lightning Dawn.”
Lightning bowed politely, “Your grace. We have prepared a welcoming banquet in your honor if you wish to partake.”
Mowaza nodded softly, “It would be my honor.”
Ace: I am surprised the most big-headed of all equines didn' introduce himself!
Soon, the entire court was gathered in the large conference room deep in the palace. Everyone sat at their seats which forms a long curving table that arched all across the room. There were all kinds of foods, and drinks to go round, and as the guest of honor, Mowaza sat near the head of the table by their Majesties, where Lightning usually sat, so he sat with his wife and friends at the end of the table.
Pan: And their kid?
There was also entertainment; Goldwin, and the royal dancers performing special performances in honor of the queen. Wild disco dances with hula-hoops spinning on the floor with dancers inside and hanging on. Fire dances in which the dancers juggled burning torches while they danced.
Ace: Abra is not present? He is a stage wizard, he should also be doing tricks if the statue can!
Pan: Technically, the statue can do so because of him...
Mowaza found the acrobatic dances to be her favorite, and she applauded graciously when the performance ended. “Thank you,” she said “I have not seen such amazing dance style.”
Goldwin bowed “Thank you, your majesty.”
All: For a statue, very good job.
After the feast, and final refreshments, Mowaza expressed her thanks, “For the food, and the entertainment, and the generous hospitality, I am grateful, but now I must explain things of business.
Pan: Uh oh.
The people of my planet, Ainzul; once we were great fighters and warriors, but the times of war have faded, and we all have grown weary of these ways. We wish to retire from the ways of battle, and settle in peace and harmony.
However, this will leave us most vulnerable in the event of an invasion, and there will be those that would dare to take advantage of our peaceful ways.
We know of your Starfleet, and have heard the many stories of your victories. We wish to enlist that your warriors, be our new guardians, to provide us with protection, and safety for our new era.”
Pan:...
Rainbow thought that a very weird speech, “Sounds like their just too lazy to fight anymore.”
Jannah: No, WORSE. Sounds like they are surrendering themselves to the white saviors and getting under their thrall. Don't do this, Ainzulians! Don't!
This earned her a nudge from Buddy “How can you say that!” he whispered. “They want to stop being fighters themselves and that’s fine, but they will need protection.”
Poe: This isn't the way! You can keep your army, just stop campaigning and focus on putting more resources on faming, vehicles, education, health, banks... you can have an army and still not be a warrior tribe!
But Buddy is cunning. He know exactly what's going on and agrees with the military expansion. He knows Starfleet has only to gain!
“Peace…” Lightning whispered, and he remembered how blissful his home planet Harmonious once was, but because there were no fighters or armies to help protect them, the planet was doomed.
At least Ainzul had a chance to be both peaceful and protected still.
Finn: Lightning, I feel pity for you, honestly. You are a victim.
And no, no, Ainzul is not going to be peaceful with a foreign army over their heads! Who will protect them from Starfleet? Plus, Starfleet is not so effective! What if they are defeated, now that you dismantled your army? They are also militaristic and force their culture on others. Ainzul now is occupied by a police state! You lost all idnependence!
Grand Ruler addressed Mowaza, “As Commander-in-Chief, I submit that we will be honored to loan our services so that you and your people may continue to be protected.”
Jannah: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! YOU submit, Grand Ruler? I think Ainzul submits to you at this moment!
Celestia agreed to this as well, “However,” she said “You have mentioned that there being a condition to this treaty.”
Pan: Do Canadians count as native speakers? To see if I will be stricter or more lenient with these typos.
“Yes,” said Mowaza, and she instructed her guards to “…Bring it forth.”
Her guards complied, and the doors to the room opened wide. One a large rolled up scroll.
Another guard came in carrying came in carrying a small white chest with ancient carvings on it, and a powerful seal sticker on the latch. This seal not only kept the box secure, but it rendered the box to be resistant to magic.
Poe: Three credits the villain is inside.
The conference was all in curiosity over all this, and Mowaza got up from her seat and stepped down to where her guards stood, and she bowed at the box and the scroll.
“Just what is the nature of all this?” asked Princess Luna.
Mowaza hesitated for a moment, and then answered “As I say… my people and I wish to let go of fighting and settle. In order to do so, however, we must entrust you with a great and important task.”
Everyone exchanged looks of concern with one another.
Pan: With great power comes great responsibility!
Ace: Starfleet is a fraud. I know they will fuck it up.
“Listen very closely.” said Mowaza “Over ten-thousand years ago, on my planet… there was a great evil…!”
She turned to her guard with the scroll, and the guard held the scroll up so that it fell open revealing a large ancient splash-panel painting; of an ancient Chinese like town being ransacked by evil creatures, and in the upmost center was a large hulking creature that had a large lion’s head, two dragon heads for hands, and the face of a huge bear as chest armor.
Pan: Note that Asian lions exist.
“…Stammadon!” Mowaza called him “He believed that only the strong and the mighty should rule, and those he deemed weak were to be erased. This lead him to become power-hungry, and a warmonger; using these as means to increase his own strength and rule over anything he desired.”
Grand Ruler and Celestia held hands, feeling outraged at such a creature and its lust for power, everyone else in the room felt the same way.
Ace: Grand Ruler is disgusted by this? After preaching that his Space Ponies are superior to the Equestrians, aka the natives, and so they are also superior in his army, and makes military expansion after military expansion?
If you know how evil power-hungry warmongers are, why are you surrendering yourselves to Starfleet?
Mowaza continued with her story and motioned at the chest. “Brave Kung-Fu warriors of our world fought hard, channeling their inner pure strengths. Finally, they were able to capture and imprison Stammadon… inside this box.”
A moment of silence followed as everyone took a moment to let it all sink in.
Jannah: See? Your army is very capable of stopping great evils! You can focus on peace and keep it in case of danger! Not do what you are doing now!
“For all that time,” said Mowaza “The royal family had been charged with the honor and duty of guarding this, to ensure that Stammadon would never escape.
But now… that we are converting to the ways of peace and bliss, we can no longer carry out that task.
All: BULLSHIT!
Finn: If you could keep Stammadon imprisoned for ALL this time, you can still do so now, even while focusing on peace! I saw this box is also resistant to magic, so just lock it up in a dark dungeon and leave him to rot forever.
We know that you are of good nature, Starfleet, and our faith is with you as well.
We wish to entrust this task to you, if you will have it.”
Poe: Good nature? These people speak of racial superiority all the time! They brainwashed protesters!
Every face in the conference was fraught with mixed emotions; concern, fear, outrage at the thoughts of such an evil, but naturally they all agreed they should take the task.
“One thing Starfleet does is try to help other worlds by protecting them from evil.” said Lightning “It’s what we train for.”
Pan: Like you say, you try to.
Suddenly, they could hear a roughhousing going from the open doors, and the first thing they saw where the guards being knocked down by a very angry Striker, who then proceeded to march straight into the conference room.
“I spent five whole years training for Starfleet!” he thundered “You can’t just have me dismissed for no reason!”
Pan: How OLD are you, Striker? I know bullies are immature, but what you did now is insane! Why are you interrupting Starfleet while they are busy taking over a planet? Right now, you are being a bitch.
“Agreed,” said Grand Ruler “But we HAVE a reason.”
Lightning agreed, and being the one who dismissed Striker, he addressed him next. “You on the other hand have no reason being here and barging in on this conference.”
Pan: THANK YOU! Really, not even a kid would do that.
Striker completely snapped and lunged for him; punching and kicking like crazy. “Has he gone mad?” asked Rarity. “I think he’s already crossed that line.” said Spike
Finn: I agree with all of you. This defies all common sense! Nobody except some villains can have such an ego! No wonder even Starfleet had enough of him!
Still nobody bothered to intervene, nor did their majesties even bother to sick the guards on Striker. They knew Lightning could handle him… and he did…!
Pan: It's sic, in case anyone wonders. Also, he did barge in a conference. He could do something stupid like... freeing Stammadon! Stop him quickly! I know Lightning can handle him, but still! Now there is no time for lessons in humility!
Striker punched and kicked with all his might, but Lightning just stood where he was dodging each blow without even moving his feet, and then proceeded to block Striker’s attacks with one arm.
Totally enraged, striker leapt up high for his signature jump-kick move, but Lightning merely raised his hand and gave a small thrust forth with his fist sending a small shockwave along the air, knocking Striker down to the ground.
Striker looked up, angry and humiliated, but everyone just glared at him with extreme disappointment.
Jannah: I admit it, Striker deserved it.
“Now, I give you this one chance,” said Lightning "Go now... or I'll arrest you."
Striker got up, still infuriated and seemingly obliged and headed for the doors, but at the last split second he turned and grabbed Mowaza holding her hostage “Nobody move, or she’s going to get it!” he thundered.
Ace: And that's why they should have guards to FORCE him out of the door. Don't you see he is mad?
Pan: I wonder why wasn't this guy fired sooner. He is a downright asshole by this point.
“Striker…! Stop this now!” thundered Celestia
“Shut up!!” thundered Striker, and then he noticed the box Mowaza held, not knowing of its contents, “What’cha got there?” and with his one free hand he tried to snare it away from her. “No! You mustn’t!” cried Moawaza!
Finn: Now he is also a complete idiot because the plot demands it. Because even if he wants to complain about being fired, the box shouldn't be an issue for him! What, because you didn't get what you want, you want others to suffer as well, Striker? I don't get that mentality at all!
“Stop him!” shouted Grand Ruler, and the guards and the friends rushed in, just as Mowaza broke free and dashed ahead with the box safe in her clutches.
“Give me that!” sneered Striker, but the guards and friends jumped all over him, and Lightning readied his capture blaster, “Hold him still!” and Starla, Buddy and Rhymey used their telekinesis to levitate him up high.
Try as he would struggle, even his strength and rage couldn’t hope to overpower the strength of the strongest Starfleet fighters. “Let me go!” he screamed. “No way!” sneered Lightning “You’re under arrest for attempted assault and hostile actions!” he powered up his blaster to capture him.
Poe: Hallelujah! You finally did something right! You should have done that from the start!
Even though Striker couldn’t break free of magic aura holding him, not with brute strength, he concentrated all he could, and fired a blast of magic from his horn, hitting Lightning’s blaster, causing him to accidentally shoot in the direction of Mowaza.
Pan: Oh no.
*Slow Mo*
The huge blast headed straight for her.
“NOOOOOO…!!” Lightning thundered, but Grand Ruler and Celestia quickly dove in and swiftly pulled her out of the way, just in the split of time, and the blast when sailing out the window, way out into the sky where it exploded harmlessly.
Pan: This is a fanfic, but Mykan thinks he is writing a cartoon series. Hence the slow motion. Also, that "No" is kinda narmy.
…But… in the panic, Mowaza ended up throwing the box way up high in the air, and because it was resistant to magic, none of the ponies could use telekinesis to grab it or shield it!
“Get it!!” cried Starla.
Rainbow soared up and managed to catch the box in her hands safely, landing on the ground with the thud.
Finn: When they said "resistant to magic" they didn't make an exception for that? This is stupid!
*Regular speed*
“Save!” she cried.
Everyone breathed a huge sigh of relief, but Mowaze gasped, “The seal…!!” it was broken!!
The box began to rumble violently, and Rainbow threw it across the room.
POW!! The box burst open, and a huge burst of energy flowed out from it with the force of a hurricane. The force of the strong winds and shockwaves knocked everyone around, Grand Ruler and Celestia were knocked away, and even Striker was freed from the aura that held him as the other ponies got knocked away by the blast.
Poe:
“I’m outta’ here!” Striker cried, and dashed he off.
“FREE!!” thundered a deep and evil voice “…I AM FINALLY FREE!!”
“Oh, no!!” cried Mowaza. The spirit of Stammadon turned, and a pair of glowing red eyes shone in the energy, glaring at her. “Mowaza!” he thundered “For many millennia I’ve been trapped and guarded by your family and heritage, but now that I am back, YOU will be disposed of first!”
Pan:Good move, Stammadon. I would also attack the person who kept me inside first and the people who freed me like idiots later.
“LOOK OUT!!” Pinkie Pie screamed as the evil spirit rushed in too fast for anyone to react.
“AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH…!!!” The force flew straight at Mowaza, knocking her with a strong hit that send her sailing hard into the wall, and she flat on the floor.
“The Queen!!” cried the gaurds.
Ace: A verb is missing! A fucking verb! Also, "strong" is the word of the day.
Stammadon laughed, “Mowaza is defeated… the rest of you are not worthy of my time!” and he flew off with such a force, knocking everyone down in a gust of winds as he flew out the window and was gone.
Pan: I said later, no not at all!
Finn: How nice would it be for our villains to attack only one of us and leave the others alone.
Poe: Then again, he probably sees Starfleet as allies, their incompetence freed him.
Rarity and Fluttershy’s droids were malfunctioning, and had to be powered down and repaired at once. Everyone else wasn’t hurt too badly, but Mowaza lay where she was barely breathing.
“Queen Mowaza.” cried one of the guards.
Jannah: But it sounded like a whisper. Also, nice that only the droids were badly damaged. Convenient!
Princess Luna dashed over to her, and felt her pulse. “She is getting weak. We must get her to sick bay!”
“Right, hurry…” said Grand Ruler, and quickly Mowaza was rushed to get help.
Ace: See how eager Luna is to help! Grand Ruler sees it like a burden!
Lightning stared at the empty box on the floor, and angrily stomped his foot “URGH!!” and then he looked out the window wondering where Stammadon had gone.
Finn: *As Lightning* How can we be so stupid?
Meanwhile, Striker wanted to get as far from the palace or New Canterlot as fast as he could go. He now stood in an open field outside the village, but he could still see the palace.
“What was I thinking back there?” he wondered shamefully to himself.
Poe: Unless your stupidity was somehow influenced by Stammadon, which would make sense if the seal didn't stop all magic, too little, too late.
Then, suddenly, he felt the winds picking up and he felt he wasn’t alone either. This was confirmed when someone called out to him, “Striker…!”
Striker panicked and began to run, but that voice and those winds just kept right on his tail, chasing him into the open fields, finally catching up to him, and he screamed as he felt something take him!
Finn: So he now is possessed. I think he had already crossed the line and wonder how he will get worse.
Mowaza was in the sick bay, put on life support which stabilized her. “She’ll be all right now.” said the doctor “If you hadn’t brought her here she would’ve died for sure.”
Mowaza wearily opened her eyes, “Stamm… adon… he is free!” she whimpered “It is all my fault!”
Jannah: Partially. You shouldn't have trusted these morons. But Striker is also at fault.
Celestia hushed her and urged her to relax “No, no, don’t say that. It’s not who is to blame now, it won’t help things.”
Mowaza still felt bad, and really worried, “Stammadon will most likely return to Ainzul where he was originally captured. He will try and resurrect his army. My people will be in great danger!”
Jannah: Mowaza, I have an idea. They broke the contract, Stammadon is free. They proved to be untrustworthy. Regain your idependence, say the contract is null and void, and stop him again WITH YOUR OWN ARMY! DON'T TRUST STARFLEET! THIS WAY, YOU CAN BE FREE BOTH FROM GRAND RULER AND STAMMADON, AS YOU HAD ALREADY BEAT THE LATTER ONCE WITHOUT THE FORMER'S HELP!
The doctor saw no choice but to sedate her to calm her, and she was resting softly, much calmer.
“Then we must go too,
That’s what we must do.” said Rhymey.
“He’s right…” agreed Applejack “It may not matter who’s fault it is; there’s no tellin’ what that brute’s up to. We can’t just let all those folks on Ainzul fall to his evil.”
Everyone agreed, and so did Lightning and Grand Ruler.
Ace Ray: So you HELPED all these folks fall to his evil, morons!
The planet Ainzul: A red and white planet in star-system ways east of United Equestria’s. The sky was always a shade of dusk red with white clouds. The populace was, as was said, a race of anthropomorphic lions and tigers and cat-like creatures, all dressed and lives in a Chinese like environment.
The Ainzulians knew nothing of what was happening, and were just going about their daily lives waiting for their queen to return, hopefully with good news.
Finn: Seriously? They were going to act like surrendering themselves to another empire will change nothing? How servile are they?
Pan: This is similar to the Chinkos of Battlefield Earth. Aka the Chinese portrayed as servile aliens. And yes, I will keep repeating it, because unlike Hubbard, Mykan has no idea how fucked up this is!
While on the far side of the planet, atop a dark and foreboding mountain, there sat a large oriented temple, as big as a castle. This was the former base of operations of Stammadon, which had been abandoned for millennia since the war.
A lone figure trudged into the temple throne room. He seemed to be an ordinary creature, wearing black armor, paddings, and wearing a fluffy black cape on his back. He spoke in a very deep and darkened voice.
“It feels so good to be back.” he hissed, and then he gazed at the throne at the end of the room, or rather the large stone statues that stood all around it, four mighty guardians which were once his most loyal and obedient followers, turned to stone following his capture.
Finn: This is the subtlety of the First Order and Black Legion.
Pan: Stammadon then twirled his mustache while tying a maiden on rails.
“Ah, my friends…” he hissed “Front and center!” he raised his hand and unleashed a small shockwave that broke the sticker seals on the statues, allowing the creatures to come back to life.
Jannah: Why weren't these seals resistant to magic? And why were all the statues placed together? Would it be easier to separate them in case Stammadon escaped?
Pan: You wouldn't surrender your army to a weaker one. So yes, it makes sense.
They were…
Rai Shi: A mighty muscular ape, who wore white pants, strong wristbands, and a strong kung-fu belt tied round his waste.
Pan: In other words, dumb muscle.
En Shi: A beautiful and stunning pony-like alien, nearly resembling that of Celestia, only she had no horn and no wings. She had a white coat, but with a strong hint of gray, a long voluminous light blue mane that didn’t seemed to flow like waves on the water, which was her elemental power-- ice and water-- and she wore a white armor vest across her body, with long boots that went past her kneecaps.
Pan: The vain female villain of the group. I wonder how many are in this series.
Kara Shi: A short, and stumpy looking little humanoid alien, who wore a samurai helmet but his size did not at all matter, for he was swift and as stealth as a ninja, and carried a small sword in his hand.
Pan:So, the villain hires someone with dwarfism? Some bad guy.
Tan Shi: A white tigress, Kung-Fu fighter, with sharp claws and fangs, and a strict face that would frighten anyone just by looking at it.
Pan:This is the hyperfeminist. Feminism is the bane of the author's existence... just look at his other works.
The Four Shis stretched out, and yawned like waking form a night’s rest, and then saw him staring at them.
Pan: Did I mention Mykan ripped off Jungle Fury and Dai Shi? And that Striker is Jarrod? This is a ripoff, and what's original is full of unfortunate implications.
“Why Stammadon…” said Rai Shi.
“Hmmm…” said En Shi as she looked her leader over “I must say, I like your new look.”
Jannah: She has a crush on the boss?
Stammadon approached his minions, “Sometimes you have to make the best with what you’ve got. Millennia of being imprisoned has worn me down, but now we can rebuild, and re-strengthen our forces.”
Kara Shi leapt with joy, “Oh, yeah! That’s what we’ll do, alright, and then we’ll show ‘em, won’t we.”
Tan Shi clunked him in the head with her paw, “Quiet, and let him talk.”
Poe: The one who showed to be different from others is En Shi. The others look the same so far.
Stammadon stepped up to the throne, but didn’t sit and just stood with his back turned to his minions. “Begin preparations. It’s time we re-took this world, and did away with all those weak beings below.
Pan: Which you could do right when you had the advantage.
Anyway, this was a big chapter full of stupidity.
All: Hi!
Pan: Let's begin!
Starfleet: The greatest fighting force in all the dimensional galaxy, headed by Lightning Dawn and his many friends. Together they had countless adventures, traveled to many worlds, made new friends, and also fought many great evils.
Pan: Dimensional galaxy? Someone was slacking off at Physics. Also, for an anti-friendship fic, it sure shows friends front and center.
Finn: I bet our old Jedi Order was stronger.
Even when then the world seemed at peace, Starfleet continued to train and remain on constant vigil for any new foes that would dare reveal themselves and to do no good.
Poe: On the one hand, can't these people have peace? We all have to calm down sometimes. On the other hand, this is a warrior race with many foes, so I will not condemn them.
Today, on planet United Equestria, was the first day of spring. All the snow had melted, all the animals were starting to awaken from hibernation, and flowers were blooming,
Pan: It's a wondeful day outside. Birds are singing, flowers are blooming...
Ace Ray: In days like these, tyrants like Starfleet...
Finn:Not yet. Remember, they needed an excuse to arrest you!
but in the training grounds of New Canterlot Palace, new recruits to the force were doing their morning warmups, and sparing.
Pan: Sparring!
All were under the watchful eyes of Commander Lightning Dawn, Krysta, and their royal majesties, Grand Ruler Celesto and Queen Celestia, and they were growing quite concerned at what they were seeing…!
Finn: Honestly, I think Lightning is closer to Krysta than his own wife. I ship them.
Recently, the new recruits had begun to slip up, and do poorly at their training-- they couldn’t seem to hold their stances, stay focussed on targets, or channel their inner strength and energy good enough.
“What’s the matter with them?” Krysta wondered aloud “Usually the new recruits are all peppy and willing to go through all this.”
Poe: That their superiors say that they are always the best and that there is no way they can catch up to them?
“We already know what the trouble is,” said Lightning “…It’s their lack of confidence.”
Their majesties agreed, and Grand Ruler spoke, “Practically everyone on this planet knows of Lightning and his friends being Starfleet’s best fighters, and all the massive amount of evils they managed to defeat. They seem to feel that they will never be able to be as good as they are, and it’s slowing them up.”
Pan: I think I will give up on being a grammar Nazi, except if it's a complete gem like Swift's Freudian Slip.
Poe: Called it. I knew they just feared they would never catch up.
Down below in the training yard, some of the cadets began to fumble and fall flat on their faces.
“No, no, no…!” cried the instructor “Come on cadets, try again.”
“What’s the point?” snapped one Equestrian pony “I’ll never be as good as Commander Lightning Dawn.”
Pan: This jab at Equestrians is actually subtle. And who knows? You might surpass him!
Even a couple of Space Alicorns felt the same way, “He’s the least of our problems. His friends are all just as powerful.”
“They got the powers of Harmony, and Lightning can become an Enticorn. None of us could ever come close to that.”
Pan: Is this... some Unicornicopians being inferior to some Equestrians? Well, Mykan, I will not interrupt you making something right by probable accident. This right here is anti-racist.
The instructor took no pity with their whining “That’s fool talk! We don’t train whiners here in Starfleet we train you to be strong in body and in mind. Now you shake off this fool talk and you try again.”
Pan: That's realistic in an army. Both the complaints of the soldiers and the instructor's rebuttal. I can sympathize.
So the cadets continued to train.
Lightning sighed with dismay at all this, “If those cadets keep losing their confidence, they’ll never make the force. They’d be useless in the fields and be easy targets for their enemies.”
Finn: He is not wrong. This is the reason the Stormtroopers lost so many against the Resistance. They, no, we, were abused all the time and were trained to be killed. We had no motivation except for some fanatics like Nines.
Poe: Meanwhile, we made sure the morale of the Resistance was always high and Leia preached about hope all the time. And I did the same.
Celestia looked down at the training yard and she could see one cadet who seemed to have loads of confidence.
…A white unicorn pony with a blonde mane. His name was Striker, and he wore dark navy blue armor, and his cutie mark drawing was that of a strong fist that was glowing, showing he was excellent in strength.
Jannah: ... did we mention he was a heavy hitter?
Striker was really at the top of his game. He never lost his balance, he hit every skeet target that came his way, but unfortunately he had a rather bad attitude, especially when it came to the sparring session.
Ace: He is the perfect Starfleet member, in short. Lightning is also a dick to those he finds inferior.
He defeated his opponents so easily, mostly because he was facing the shaken cadets that couldn’t concentrate well, and he would even go as far as to tease them.
“Wimp!
Pathetic!
You’re all a bunch of silly weaklings. It wouldn’t surprise me if I made your superior right off the bat.”
Jannah: This is cowardly, Striker. Just because you hit the weak, you are not strong.
This warranted much aggravation from his fellow cadets. One of them, who was not a shaken cadet even called him out on his attitude. “Hey! Give them a break! They’re trying their best.”
Pan: I like this cadet.
Striker glared nastily at the cadet, “Well maybe they’re just not trying hard enough. Maybe they just not strong enough like I am…”
Poe: At this point, I think even Starfleet would get pissed off with this bully.
A moment of silence followed, and then almost without warning, Striker jump kicked at the cadet, forcing him to defend himself and the two nearly engaged in an illegal brawl, but the instructors intervened.
“Stop this!” the head trainer shouted, and used his magic to halt Striker in mid-air. “What is your malfunction, Striker? You should know better than to start fights like that! Now hit the showers!”
Ace Ray: Woah. Didn't know being an asshole had limits in them.
Striker was set down, and growled at the instructors and his fellow cadet, but he went off as told.
Up in the palace, the gang was all livid at the attitude they had just seen. “Perhaps I spoke too soon.” said Celestia, and Lightning agreed, “Striker may have confidence, but that attitude of his leaves much to be desired to be accepted into Starfleet. All he seems to care about is strength and getting stronger, and he doesn’t get along well with others.
…I’m going to have to dismiss him.”
Finn: If you wanna know why I spared him, this is why.
Pan: I think he is one of those rare Stus that becomes progressively less bad.
Grand Ruler placed his hand on Lightning’s shoulder, “Well said, Commander. We’ll leave you to it. Right now, we must go and prepare ourselves. We’re expecting a special guest today.”
“Oh, right… that queen from the planet Ainzul.” said Krysta.
Pan: And now the shitty is coming.
Celestia nodded “Queen Mowaza, we plan to sign a treaty of alliance with her people, and she is coming to entrust us with a special task to help seal the contract. We aren’t sure what it is yet, but it sounds very important; serious even.”
Lightning and Krysta felt curious, but decided not to bother. For now, Lightning had his duty to do.
Jannah: I already am scared.
Later, after sundown all of Lightning’s friends and his family had come to help personally welcome the arrival of the queen.
“Oooh… this is so exciting!” cried Pinkie Pie as she leapt for joy.
Pan: Trust me. IT'S NOT.
“Easy, Pinkie Pie,” said Artie “We got to put on our game faces now.”
Rarity and Fluttershy were actually duplicate droids Professor Brain had built for them just as he did for Starla Shine the previous year. The ladies were six months pregnant, and had recently gone on maternity leave. This meant no fighting, no unnecessary space traveling, or super hyper activities.
The ladies were at home, controlling their droids by the control-systems.
Ace Ray: ...yet, while HAVING the technology, they DO NOT HAVE SPACESHIPS.
Poe: In the timeline we are from, they do. Maybe installed after the brainwashing.
Rhymey spoke to Fluttershy,
“If you want me to come home or if you’re feeling sickly,
Just say the word and I’ll be there very quickly.”
“Oh, honey, you’re worrying too much.” his wife answered through the droid “I’ll be just fine. Angel and the other animals are here to help me.”
Pan: Nice to see Rhymey giving a shit about his wife.
Spike then opened his mouth to speak, but Rarity hushed him, “I’m just fine too, darling. You needn’t worry.”
“Yeah, but I’m worried anyway.” Spike teased.
Finn: This would be me if my girlfriend was pregnant.
Pan: Trust me, you don't want the author to find about you. You will blow up planets and then kill yourself for not hooking up with Rey, just to make her suffer.
Starla Shine was there in person, not wanting to miss such an important meeting. She had brought her and Lightning’s six-month old son, Shining Light with them, and dropping him off at the palace daycare.
She and Lightning held hands and felt happy for the couples, as it reminded them of how they felt when they were expecting their baby.
Finn: And Krysta was very jealous.
Buddy Rose smiled at them too.
“How’s Tree Hugger doing?” asked Starla.
“She’s fine too.” replied Buddy “I’ve never seen anyone so relaxed and calm while pregnant before. Even her mood swings are hip and soft.
Applejack’s folks are helping care for her while I’m here.”
Poe: Wow, a lot of mares got pregnant.
Applejack giggled softly, “You should see how my Ma treats her. It’s like expectin’ another little foal, even when it ain’t hers.”
Suddenly the big doors opened, “Here come their majesties.” Said Rainbow Dash, and indeed, their majesties, with Princess and a royal guard escort with Captain Shaina came into the throne room.
Pan: With Princess...? I am confused.
Jannah: And Shaina exists. Why do I think I did her a favor by having her fight someone?
“Aten-tion…!” Lightning said to his friends, and they all stood tall and straight in a line.
“Good, very good.” said Grand Ruler “We’re glad you’re all here to witness this event.”
Poe: Good, good (Palpatine voice)
“We wouldn’t miss it for the world, master.” said Lightning.
Suddenly, the royal fanfare sounded.
Pan: They have a good reason not to.
“Ay’ Ay’ Ay’! It’s time!” cried Dyno.
Pan: AYAYAYAYAY... Awaken my masters!
“Si,” added Myte “This is so exciting, but he and the others maintained their stance.
Pan: I never liked the gimmick of speaking in another language sometimes. Feels racist and shows tokenism.
The big doors at the other end of the throne room opened wide as the pony sentries stood to the side, and Captain Shaina and her knights stood to the right side of the red carpet, and Lightning and his team all stood at the other side and saluted.
The Ainzulian party came in. They were creatures that resembled anthropomorphic lions and tigers, and they were all dressed in Chinese-Like attire-- robes, armor…
Jannah: What's "Chinese"?
Pan: All I will say is that this is probably a reference to the Chinese themselves. Also, why don't you bother with actual description? Right now, you look both lazy and racist!
The guards stepped in, and one of them announced, “Her royal majesty: Queen Mowaza, of Ainzul, to negotiate with United Equestria.”
Pan: I wouldn't say to negotiate, given what comes next.
A loud gong was sounded, and she came forth. Queen Mowaza: A beautiful beige lioness, with soft touches of gold streaks round the top her head, and yet her facial features made her seem nearly humanoid completely.
Jannah: This can be uncanny valley if done wrong.
She wore royal red kimono made of silk and satin sleeves with pictures of silver dragons all over. Two white sashes with red Chinese characters worn up and over each shoulder, and a golden headdress placed on her had with beaded strings, and soft curled spikes out the sides.
Pan: Kimono. In people resembling the Chinese. Mykan, while yes, the Chinese robes DID inspire the Kimono, the Kimono itself is Japanese. Also, say ideograms, because while you ARE understandable, you have made obvious what inspired your Anizulians.
She bowed gracefully to everyone present. “Greetings, I am Mowaza.”
Poe: Queen Mowaza.
Pan: Foreshadowing...
Everyone bowed to her, and their majesties extended their welcome to her. “We are glad you made it safely, your highness.” said Grand Ruler.
Ace Ray: Starfleet might be good on paper. But in pracice, I am afraid of the treaty.
Jannah: You should be.
“As am I, too.” replied Mowaza.
“My wife, Queen Celestia,”
Celestia bowed, “My sister, Princess Luna.”
Luna bowed, “Our right hand fighter, Commander Lightning Dawn.”
Lightning bowed politely, “Your grace. We have prepared a welcoming banquet in your honor if you wish to partake.”
Mowaza nodded softly, “It would be my honor.”
Ace: I am surprised the most big-headed of all equines didn' introduce himself!
Soon, the entire court was gathered in the large conference room deep in the palace. Everyone sat at their seats which forms a long curving table that arched all across the room. There were all kinds of foods, and drinks to go round, and as the guest of honor, Mowaza sat near the head of the table by their Majesties, where Lightning usually sat, so he sat with his wife and friends at the end of the table.
Pan: And their kid?
There was also entertainment; Goldwin, and the royal dancers performing special performances in honor of the queen. Wild disco dances with hula-hoops spinning on the floor with dancers inside and hanging on. Fire dances in which the dancers juggled burning torches while they danced.
Ace: Abra is not present? He is a stage wizard, he should also be doing tricks if the statue can!
Pan: Technically, the statue can do so because of him...
Mowaza found the acrobatic dances to be her favorite, and she applauded graciously when the performance ended. “Thank you,” she said “I have not seen such amazing dance style.”
Goldwin bowed “Thank you, your majesty.”
All: For a statue, very good job.
After the feast, and final refreshments, Mowaza expressed her thanks, “For the food, and the entertainment, and the generous hospitality, I am grateful, but now I must explain things of business.
Pan: Uh oh.
The people of my planet, Ainzul; once we were great fighters and warriors, but the times of war have faded, and we all have grown weary of these ways. We wish to retire from the ways of battle, and settle in peace and harmony.
However, this will leave us most vulnerable in the event of an invasion, and there will be those that would dare to take advantage of our peaceful ways.
We know of your Starfleet, and have heard the many stories of your victories. We wish to enlist that your warriors, be our new guardians, to provide us with protection, and safety for our new era.”
Pan:...
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?
Rainbow thought that a very weird speech, “Sounds like their just too lazy to fight anymore.”
Jannah: No, WORSE. Sounds like they are surrendering themselves to the white saviors and getting under their thrall. Don't do this, Ainzulians! Don't!
This earned her a nudge from Buddy “How can you say that!” he whispered. “They want to stop being fighters themselves and that’s fine, but they will need protection.”
Poe: This isn't the way! You can keep your army, just stop campaigning and focus on putting more resources on faming, vehicles, education, health, banks... you can have an army and still not be a warrior tribe!
But Buddy is cunning. He know exactly what's going on and agrees with the military expansion. He knows Starfleet has only to gain!
“Peace…” Lightning whispered, and he remembered how blissful his home planet Harmonious once was, but because there were no fighters or armies to help protect them, the planet was doomed.
At least Ainzul had a chance to be both peaceful and protected still.
Finn: Lightning, I feel pity for you, honestly. You are a victim.
And no, no, Ainzul is not going to be peaceful with a foreign army over their heads! Who will protect them from Starfleet? Plus, Starfleet is not so effective! What if they are defeated, now that you dismantled your army? They are also militaristic and force their culture on others. Ainzul now is occupied by a police state! You lost all idnependence!
Grand Ruler addressed Mowaza, “As Commander-in-Chief, I submit that we will be honored to loan our services so that you and your people may continue to be protected.”
Jannah: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! YOU submit, Grand Ruler? I think Ainzul submits to you at this moment!
Celestia agreed to this as well, “However,” she said “You have mentioned that there being a condition to this treaty.”
Pan: Do Canadians count as native speakers? To see if I will be stricter or more lenient with these typos.
“Yes,” said Mowaza, and she instructed her guards to “…Bring it forth.”
Her guards complied, and the doors to the room opened wide. One a large rolled up scroll.
Another guard came in carrying came in carrying a small white chest with ancient carvings on it, and a powerful seal sticker on the latch. This seal not only kept the box secure, but it rendered the box to be resistant to magic.
Poe: Three credits the villain is inside.
The conference was all in curiosity over all this, and Mowaza got up from her seat and stepped down to where her guards stood, and she bowed at the box and the scroll.
“Just what is the nature of all this?” asked Princess Luna.
Mowaza hesitated for a moment, and then answered “As I say… my people and I wish to let go of fighting and settle. In order to do so, however, we must entrust you with a great and important task.”
Everyone exchanged looks of concern with one another.
Pan: With great power comes great responsibility!
Ace: Starfleet is a fraud. I know they will fuck it up.
“Listen very closely.” said Mowaza “Over ten-thousand years ago, on my planet… there was a great evil…!”
She turned to her guard with the scroll, and the guard held the scroll up so that it fell open revealing a large ancient splash-panel painting; of an ancient Chinese like town being ransacked by evil creatures, and in the upmost center was a large hulking creature that had a large lion’s head, two dragon heads for hands, and the face of a huge bear as chest armor.
Pan: Note that Asian lions exist.
“…Stammadon!” Mowaza called him “He believed that only the strong and the mighty should rule, and those he deemed weak were to be erased. This lead him to become power-hungry, and a warmonger; using these as means to increase his own strength and rule over anything he desired.”
Grand Ruler and Celestia held hands, feeling outraged at such a creature and its lust for power, everyone else in the room felt the same way.
Ace: Grand Ruler is disgusted by this? After preaching that his Space Ponies are superior to the Equestrians, aka the natives, and so they are also superior in his army, and makes military expansion after military expansion?
If you know how evil power-hungry warmongers are, why are you surrendering yourselves to Starfleet?
Mowaza continued with her story and motioned at the chest. “Brave Kung-Fu warriors of our world fought hard, channeling their inner pure strengths. Finally, they were able to capture and imprison Stammadon… inside this box.”
A moment of silence followed as everyone took a moment to let it all sink in.
Jannah: See? Your army is very capable of stopping great evils! You can focus on peace and keep it in case of danger! Not do what you are doing now!
“For all that time,” said Mowaza “The royal family had been charged with the honor and duty of guarding this, to ensure that Stammadon would never escape.
But now… that we are converting to the ways of peace and bliss, we can no longer carry out that task.
All: BULLSHIT!
Finn: If you could keep Stammadon imprisoned for ALL this time, you can still do so now, even while focusing on peace! I saw this box is also resistant to magic, so just lock it up in a dark dungeon and leave him to rot forever.
We know that you are of good nature, Starfleet, and our faith is with you as well.
We wish to entrust this task to you, if you will have it.”
Poe: Good nature? These people speak of racial superiority all the time! They brainwashed protesters!
Every face in the conference was fraught with mixed emotions; concern, fear, outrage at the thoughts of such an evil, but naturally they all agreed they should take the task.
“One thing Starfleet does is try to help other worlds by protecting them from evil.” said Lightning “It’s what we train for.”
Pan: Like you say, you try to.
Suddenly, they could hear a roughhousing going from the open doors, and the first thing they saw where the guards being knocked down by a very angry Striker, who then proceeded to march straight into the conference room.
“I spent five whole years training for Starfleet!” he thundered “You can’t just have me dismissed for no reason!”
Pan: How OLD are you, Striker? I know bullies are immature, but what you did now is insane! Why are you interrupting Starfleet while they are busy taking over a planet? Right now, you are being a bitch.
“Agreed,” said Grand Ruler “But we HAVE a reason.”
Lightning agreed, and being the one who dismissed Striker, he addressed him next. “You on the other hand have no reason being here and barging in on this conference.”
Pan: THANK YOU! Really, not even a kid would do that.
Striker completely snapped and lunged for him; punching and kicking like crazy. “Has he gone mad?” asked Rarity. “I think he’s already crossed that line.” said Spike
Finn: I agree with all of you. This defies all common sense! Nobody except some villains can have such an ego! No wonder even Starfleet had enough of him!
Still nobody bothered to intervene, nor did their majesties even bother to sick the guards on Striker. They knew Lightning could handle him… and he did…!
Pan: It's sic, in case anyone wonders. Also, he did barge in a conference. He could do something stupid like... freeing Stammadon! Stop him quickly! I know Lightning can handle him, but still! Now there is no time for lessons in humility!
Striker punched and kicked with all his might, but Lightning just stood where he was dodging each blow without even moving his feet, and then proceeded to block Striker’s attacks with one arm.
Totally enraged, striker leapt up high for his signature jump-kick move, but Lightning merely raised his hand and gave a small thrust forth with his fist sending a small shockwave along the air, knocking Striker down to the ground.
Striker looked up, angry and humiliated, but everyone just glared at him with extreme disappointment.
Jannah: I admit it, Striker deserved it.
“Now, I give you this one chance,” said Lightning "Go now... or I'll arrest you."
Striker got up, still infuriated and seemingly obliged and headed for the doors, but at the last split second he turned and grabbed Mowaza holding her hostage “Nobody move, or she’s going to get it!” he thundered.
Ace: And that's why they should have guards to FORCE him out of the door. Don't you see he is mad?
Pan: I wonder why wasn't this guy fired sooner. He is a downright asshole by this point.
“Striker…! Stop this now!” thundered Celestia
“Shut up!!” thundered Striker, and then he noticed the box Mowaza held, not knowing of its contents, “What’cha got there?” and with his one free hand he tried to snare it away from her. “No! You mustn’t!” cried Moawaza!
Finn: Now he is also a complete idiot because the plot demands it. Because even if he wants to complain about being fired, the box shouldn't be an issue for him! What, because you didn't get what you want, you want others to suffer as well, Striker? I don't get that mentality at all!
“Stop him!” shouted Grand Ruler, and the guards and the friends rushed in, just as Mowaza broke free and dashed ahead with the box safe in her clutches.
“Give me that!” sneered Striker, but the guards and friends jumped all over him, and Lightning readied his capture blaster, “Hold him still!” and Starla, Buddy and Rhymey used their telekinesis to levitate him up high.
Try as he would struggle, even his strength and rage couldn’t hope to overpower the strength of the strongest Starfleet fighters. “Let me go!” he screamed. “No way!” sneered Lightning “You’re under arrest for attempted assault and hostile actions!” he powered up his blaster to capture him.
Poe: Hallelujah! You finally did something right! You should have done that from the start!
Even though Striker couldn’t break free of magic aura holding him, not with brute strength, he concentrated all he could, and fired a blast of magic from his horn, hitting Lightning’s blaster, causing him to accidentally shoot in the direction of Mowaza.
Pan: Oh no.
*Slow Mo*
The huge blast headed straight for her.
“NOOOOOO…!!” Lightning thundered, but Grand Ruler and Celestia quickly dove in and swiftly pulled her out of the way, just in the split of time, and the blast when sailing out the window, way out into the sky where it exploded harmlessly.
Pan: This is a fanfic, but Mykan thinks he is writing a cartoon series. Hence the slow motion. Also, that "No" is kinda narmy.
…But… in the panic, Mowaza ended up throwing the box way up high in the air, and because it was resistant to magic, none of the ponies could use telekinesis to grab it or shield it!
“Get it!!” cried Starla.
Rainbow soared up and managed to catch the box in her hands safely, landing on the ground with the thud.
Finn: When they said "resistant to magic" they didn't make an exception for that? This is stupid!
*Regular speed*
“Save!” she cried.
Everyone breathed a huge sigh of relief, but Mowaze gasped, “The seal…!!” it was broken!!
The box began to rumble violently, and Rainbow threw it across the room.
POW!! The box burst open, and a huge burst of energy flowed out from it with the force of a hurricane. The force of the strong winds and shockwaves knocked everyone around, Grand Ruler and Celestia were knocked away, and even Striker was freed from the aura that held him as the other ponies got knocked away by the blast.
Poe:
MORONS!
The Ainzulians could hold him for centuries, even without enhancing the seal to physical attacks, and you of Starfleet couldn't hold him for ten fucking minutes from a mere bully!“I’m outta’ here!” Striker cried, and dashed he off.
“FREE!!” thundered a deep and evil voice “…I AM FINALLY FREE!!”
“Oh, no!!” cried Mowaza. The spirit of Stammadon turned, and a pair of glowing red eyes shone in the energy, glaring at her. “Mowaza!” he thundered “For many millennia I’ve been trapped and guarded by your family and heritage, but now that I am back, YOU will be disposed of first!”
Pan:Good move, Stammadon. I would also attack the person who kept me inside first and the people who freed me like idiots later.
“LOOK OUT!!” Pinkie Pie screamed as the evil spirit rushed in too fast for anyone to react.
“AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH…!!!” The force flew straight at Mowaza, knocking her with a strong hit that send her sailing hard into the wall, and she flat on the floor.
“The Queen!!” cried the gaurds.
Ace: A verb is missing! A fucking verb! Also, "strong" is the word of the day.
Stammadon laughed, “Mowaza is defeated… the rest of you are not worthy of my time!” and he flew off with such a force, knocking everyone down in a gust of winds as he flew out the window and was gone.
Pan: I said later, no not at all!
Finn: How nice would it be for our villains to attack only one of us and leave the others alone.
Poe: Then again, he probably sees Starfleet as allies, their incompetence freed him.
Rarity and Fluttershy’s droids were malfunctioning, and had to be powered down and repaired at once. Everyone else wasn’t hurt too badly, but Mowaza lay where she was barely breathing.
“Queen Mowaza.” cried one of the guards.
Jannah: But it sounded like a whisper. Also, nice that only the droids were badly damaged. Convenient!
Princess Luna dashed over to her, and felt her pulse. “She is getting weak. We must get her to sick bay!”
“Right, hurry…” said Grand Ruler, and quickly Mowaza was rushed to get help.
Ace: See how eager Luna is to help! Grand Ruler sees it like a burden!
Lightning stared at the empty box on the floor, and angrily stomped his foot “URGH!!” and then he looked out the window wondering where Stammadon had gone.
Finn: *As Lightning* How can we be so stupid?
Meanwhile, Striker wanted to get as far from the palace or New Canterlot as fast as he could go. He now stood in an open field outside the village, but he could still see the palace.
“What was I thinking back there?” he wondered shamefully to himself.
Poe: Unless your stupidity was somehow influenced by Stammadon, which would make sense if the seal didn't stop all magic, too little, too late.
Then, suddenly, he felt the winds picking up and he felt he wasn’t alone either. This was confirmed when someone called out to him, “Striker…!”
Striker panicked and began to run, but that voice and those winds just kept right on his tail, chasing him into the open fields, finally catching up to him, and he screamed as he felt something take him!
Finn: So he now is possessed. I think he had already crossed the line and wonder how he will get worse.
Mowaza was in the sick bay, put on life support which stabilized her. “She’ll be all right now.” said the doctor “If you hadn’t brought her here she would’ve died for sure.”
Mowaza wearily opened her eyes, “Stamm… adon… he is free!” she whimpered “It is all my fault!”
Jannah: Partially. You shouldn't have trusted these morons. But Striker is also at fault.
Celestia hushed her and urged her to relax “No, no, don’t say that. It’s not who is to blame now, it won’t help things.”
Mowaza still felt bad, and really worried, “Stammadon will most likely return to Ainzul where he was originally captured. He will try and resurrect his army. My people will be in great danger!”
Jannah: Mowaza, I have an idea. They broke the contract, Stammadon is free. They proved to be untrustworthy. Regain your idependence, say the contract is null and void, and stop him again WITH YOUR OWN ARMY! DON'T TRUST STARFLEET! THIS WAY, YOU CAN BE FREE BOTH FROM GRAND RULER AND STAMMADON, AS YOU HAD ALREADY BEAT THE LATTER ONCE WITHOUT THE FORMER'S HELP!
The doctor saw no choice but to sedate her to calm her, and she was resting softly, much calmer.
“Then we must go too,
That’s what we must do.” said Rhymey.
“He’s right…” agreed Applejack “It may not matter who’s fault it is; there’s no tellin’ what that brute’s up to. We can’t just let all those folks on Ainzul fall to his evil.”
Everyone agreed, and so did Lightning and Grand Ruler.
Ace Ray: So you HELPED all these folks fall to his evil, morons!
The planet Ainzul: A red and white planet in star-system ways east of United Equestria’s. The sky was always a shade of dusk red with white clouds. The populace was, as was said, a race of anthropomorphic lions and tigers and cat-like creatures, all dressed and lives in a Chinese like environment.
The Ainzulians knew nothing of what was happening, and were just going about their daily lives waiting for their queen to return, hopefully with good news.
Finn: Seriously? They were going to act like surrendering themselves to another empire will change nothing? How servile are they?
Pan: This is similar to the Chinkos of Battlefield Earth. Aka the Chinese portrayed as servile aliens. And yes, I will keep repeating it, because unlike Hubbard, Mykan has no idea how fucked up this is!
While on the far side of the planet, atop a dark and foreboding mountain, there sat a large oriented temple, as big as a castle. This was the former base of operations of Stammadon, which had been abandoned for millennia since the war.
A lone figure trudged into the temple throne room. He seemed to be an ordinary creature, wearing black armor, paddings, and wearing a fluffy black cape on his back. He spoke in a very deep and darkened voice.
“It feels so good to be back.” he hissed, and then he gazed at the throne at the end of the room, or rather the large stone statues that stood all around it, four mighty guardians which were once his most loyal and obedient followers, turned to stone following his capture.
Finn: This is the subtlety of the First Order and Black Legion.
Pan: Stammadon then twirled his mustache while tying a maiden on rails.
“Ah, my friends…” he hissed “Front and center!” he raised his hand and unleashed a small shockwave that broke the sticker seals on the statues, allowing the creatures to come back to life.
Jannah: Why weren't these seals resistant to magic? And why were all the statues placed together? Would it be easier to separate them in case Stammadon escaped?
Pan: You wouldn't surrender your army to a weaker one. So yes, it makes sense.
They were…
Rai Shi: A mighty muscular ape, who wore white pants, strong wristbands, and a strong kung-fu belt tied round his waste.
Pan: In other words, dumb muscle.
En Shi: A beautiful and stunning pony-like alien, nearly resembling that of Celestia, only she had no horn and no wings. She had a white coat, but with a strong hint of gray, a long voluminous light blue mane that didn’t seemed to flow like waves on the water, which was her elemental power-- ice and water-- and she wore a white armor vest across her body, with long boots that went past her kneecaps.
Pan: The vain female villain of the group. I wonder how many are in this series.
Kara Shi: A short, and stumpy looking little humanoid alien, who wore a samurai helmet but his size did not at all matter, for he was swift and as stealth as a ninja, and carried a small sword in his hand.
Pan:So, the villain hires someone with dwarfism? Some bad guy.
Tan Shi: A white tigress, Kung-Fu fighter, with sharp claws and fangs, and a strict face that would frighten anyone just by looking at it.
Pan:This is the hyperfeminist. Feminism is the bane of the author's existence... just look at his other works.
The Four Shis stretched out, and yawned like waking form a night’s rest, and then saw him staring at them.
Pan: Did I mention Mykan ripped off Jungle Fury and Dai Shi? And that Striker is Jarrod? This is a ripoff, and what's original is full of unfortunate implications.
“Why Stammadon…” said Rai Shi.
“Hmmm…” said En Shi as she looked her leader over “I must say, I like your new look.”
Jannah: She has a crush on the boss?
Stammadon approached his minions, “Sometimes you have to make the best with what you’ve got. Millennia of being imprisoned has worn me down, but now we can rebuild, and re-strengthen our forces.”
Kara Shi leapt with joy, “Oh, yeah! That’s what we’ll do, alright, and then we’ll show ‘em, won’t we.”
Tan Shi clunked him in the head with her paw, “Quiet, and let him talk.”
Poe: The one who showed to be different from others is En Shi. The others look the same so far.
Stammadon stepped up to the throne, but didn’t sit and just stood with his back turned to his minions. “Begin preparations. It’s time we re-took this world, and did away with all those weak beings below.
Pan: Which you could do right when you had the advantage.
Anyway, this was a big chapter full of stupidity.
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Date: 2021-03-27 06:45 pm (UTC)Then again, Mykan seems to love ripping off Power Rangers as I recall from reading TV Tropes...
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Date: 2021-04-03 05:38 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2021-08-24 05:46 am (UTC)How do you know his entire alien race isn't short and stubby?
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