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My brave spork: Season 8 Part 3
Hello there! Once again, I am sporking Starfleet Magic! With the usual guest stars.
Poe: Also, in Pan's last fic, I fought Torron. And he was tough but not so bright! Honestly, I wonder how Starfleet would stand up to Zant.
Finn: They probably wouldn't. Zant isn't just stronger, he is smarter and really ruthless.
-Yes, I admit it, I'm using SUPERHUMAN SAMAURAI. I like the show, and I HAVE used a lot of different kinds of evil in the Starfleet series. Trying to do something not yet done. (I've done robots, but never computer viruses)
Pan: Nothing wrong with that.
-This is only the START of Cadance's torture this year, it's going to get much worse
Pan: A lot of wrong with this, except the fact he isn't lying.
Finn: Remind me why he hates her so much?
Pan: Because she is happily married.
Finn: This raises further questions!
Ever since United Equestria was formed after The Great War, with Starfleet’s advanced technologies, things had quite improved since the days of Equestria of Old.
Pan: A reminder that this new world is so much better than the old one. Though, when we see the name Starfleet, we DO expect very advanced technology.
Computers and Systems were now much more advanced, and able to do much more than ever before, and new complex machinery and devices were established to make life a little different, and much more efficient.
Simple home computers were only used for things like writing, developing software, or even simple drawing programs. Whereas large complex consoles were used in Starfleet for many things, like tracking, radar, weather scouting, data analysis, storing records, ect, ect…
Finn: Of course only the military will have good computers. While that's a good choice, it also shows the militarism here.
One thing the computers did not have was Internet. Though human ambassador, Mykan Stevens, had shown and taught the inhabitants of this remarkable benefit of his world, most citizens agreed it best there be no internet…!
Jannah: To be honest, internet is too ancient in our Galaxy, we have holograms.
Pan: Any similarity to police states which ban social media is coincidental.
United Equestria was a planet more centered around Friendship; as in “Spending time with friends and family” Going on picnics, fishing, bowling, to the movies or theater, or just plain hanging out and having fun.
Pan: Mykan, either you are forgetting why you are writing this spitefic rewrite, or you are lying to our faces. Friendship is supposed to fail in this series! I would say United Equestria is centered about belief, not friendship, and it... actually makes more sense.
If you use the Internet correctly, you can have more contact with friends, especially now with Corona. I would say the Internet, if used with wisdom, helps friendship but hinders belief. So, I suspect there is a far more insidious reason.
Plus, they also knew that having such things would probably have benefits, but also serious consequences, like cyber-bullying, hacking, and people wasting all their time in front of the computer, ignoring outside life.
Pan: All of these are very real dangers. But, as you will see, hacking still exists in this fic, and without internet. Cyber-bullying is indeed awful, and I don't wish it on anyone, but the author thinks things like this sporking are also cyber-bullying. And if we get this in-universe, the internet is rejected because it will give a voice to all critics of Starfleet.
Oh God no.
As for the last thing... Is it supposed to be another jab at his critics? I think this issue is real, but only for those with little critical thinking or lockdown. I think using Internet for socialisation is just as possible.
So, things like internet, motor cars, television-- most people were perfectly content not having such things, and they got on just fine without.
Pan: To be fair, I don't watch TV ever. And seriously, who needs cars there? Starfleet can probably outspeed them!
Even still, just because technologies improved, didn’t mean everyone was forced to switch over. Applejack and her family stuck to their old farming methods, because they liked it that way.
Many deemed United Equestria fine as it was.
Pan: For a hate fic, it does respect its targets sometimes.
*Present Day…*
All of planet was made well aware of the new evil that Starfleet would be contending with, but as usual the people would not let this affect their normal lifestyle. So life continued as normal.
Kids went to school. Grownups went to work, all that and more…
Poe: Nothing unusual, just an itty bitty war.
Ace: Did they... inform the citizens? That's progress.
One day, at the New Crystal Empire, the tracking stations at the Crystal Palace were picking up a strange distortion in the atmosphere.
The ponies were at their computer consoles and stations tracking what appeared to be small levels of a static-discharge-- very unusual for lightning to strike in an area so small rather than clouding the whole skies.
It seemed harmless enough, but the computers suddenly experienced power failure and errors. Without them, the ponies could not track the static or try to analyze it.
Finn: Stammadon hacked the computers to block the communications with his black magic? While it would create the plot hole of how he knows about computers, that would be actually a bit clever.
Pan: No, it's not him.
“Oh, blast it!” growled the head officer “Send in for the technicians.”
A quartet of ponies soon came in, ready to fix the computers, and among them was a disgruntled looking earth pony. Her coat was pink; her mane was the same color as Twilight Sparkle’s, dark navy blue with pink streaks, only her mane was worn up in a small bun. She wore a pair of thick framed square glasses, and her cutiemark was that of picture green 0s and 1s, like data on a computer screen.
Immediately, there were whispers and grumpy remarks coming from the worker ponies.
“Oh… it’s Data Stream.”
Pan: It's a more effective villain than him.
“That grumpy face of hers could stop a clock.”
Data Stream growled angrily, “You got something to say?” she thundered at the head officer.
The head technician confronted her, “Enough! We’ve got a job to do.”
The only made Data look crosser, but she got to work with the other technicians, repairing the systems and replacing any units burnt out. “This job sucks!” she growled to herself “I should be the greatest computer technician of all times, and yet these morons won’t bend over to adapt.”
Jannah: Data is a bitch. Not only does she hate everyone but herself, she blames others for her own ineptitude.
Data was not very well liked among the palace staff, mostly due to her demeaning attitude and pushiness. Worse than that, she was known to cause a lot of trouble with the computers, and had a record for nearly causing great catastrophes, such as blackouts, short circuits, and other forms of deadly malfunction.
Pan: If she was a he, she would be still treated as a victim. Good thing she is a woman and thus is seen as the asshole she is. Also, I am average at programming and definitely a better computer scientist than this bitch. Heck, my grandmother is better because she never broke anything.
“There… I’m starting to get power back.” said a pony at her computer station. She was beginning to track the discharge in the atmosphere again, but her computer went out again. “Ugh! Not again!” and she loomed over where Data Stream was working “Can’t you hurry up and fix this. We need to track that static.”
Data Stream bolted upright and glared the pony in the face, “You got a problem with the way I’m working?”
“Hey, now!” snapped the head officer, but Data Stream really blew her stack at the other pony, “Why don’t YOU FIX IT!” she thundered, shoving a huge computer unit right into her, pushing back hard against the console, breaking the equipment.
Pan: So she is basically the Stone Heart of informatics. Also, who the fuck hires a luddite to be a technician? (Jk, I know she doesn't hate machines, she is just selfish... like Ludd himself)
All at once, wires began to spark followed by small explosions and electrical fires that broke out.
“LOOK OUT!!” the head officer cried.
The alarms sounded as the ponies scrambled to get things under control; Data Stream just cowered down behind a console on the far side of the room, refusing to help.
Pan: Usually Mykan, when he wants to make someone unlikable, they represent his critics. Or it's unintentional. But nah, this right here is a good hate sink.
Poe: Good thing she is not the boss. Holdo would reduce her to tears. Holdo.
While way off in Flurry Heart’s bedroom, Shining Armor and Princess Cadance were just putting baby Flurry Heart down for her nap when the alarms sounded, frightening the baby to tear, and the lights in the baby’s room began to flicker like they were about to burst.
Pan: It's to "tears".
Finn: Also, I know the author enjoys writing the baby being scared, but he just manages to make Data Stream the villain Stammadon wants to be. She actually caused more destruction so far!
“What’s happening?” cried Cadance.
“I don’t know…” replied her husband, and he dashed for the door and saw a rescue team dashing down the hallway. “What’s going on?” he called out, and one of the ponies replied “Electrical Fire in the Tracking Station C!”
Cadance and Shining Armor gawked at each other in concern. Cadance grabbed the baby, and she and her husband dashed off to assess the situation.
The technicians quickly shut down the computer circuits and unplugged the equipment to stop the fire from spreading to other systems, but the computers and the equipment were still going crazy until the rescue team made it, and used their magic and fire extinguishers to contain and put out the flames.
Ace: I thought they could not use magic outside of battle. Did Celesto also give a pass for other dangerous situations like fires? If so, I respect him a little more.
The danger was over, but the equipment was still badly damaged. Thankfully, nobody was hurt.
The Royal Family then stood at the door. “Is everything okay in here?” asked Shining Armor.
“It is now, sir.” replied the head officer “But it could be extremely serious, and guess who’s responsible for this?” he cast an angrily glare at Data Stream, who was standing with her arm folded and an uncaring, grumpy expression on her face.
Every single pony in the entire room was livid with her. Cadance handed Shining Armor Flurry Heart, and then marched straight over to Data Stream. She spoke very severely to her. “Data Stream, this isn’t the first time you’ve put the palace and our workers in danger!”
Pan: What will happen will be an excuse for Cadance to suffer. Anyone who believes Cadance is right, raise hands.
(Everyone does so)
Pan: I knew it.
Data acted callously, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“But it is the last time!” growled Cadance, “The VERY… last… time!
You are dismissed, right now, this instant! And I suggest you move out of the palace immediately!”
Pan: While... some... grammar... issues... are... present, bravo, princess!
Finn: Data Stream is lucky she is not in the First Order. The first time she acted like this, she would be shot.
Data gasped in shock, but seeing as she had no support as everyone seemed to share Cadance’s spite of her, she had no choice but to leave. “You’ll be sorry you did that, Princess.” She threatened “You’ll be sorry!”
She marched out of the room, passing Shining armor on the way, but all he did was glare at her without saying a thing. Then she was gone!
Poe: Not everyone seemed to. Because we all DO share that anger at this moron, who should have been given the boot earlier.
“What is wrong with that mare?” grumbled Shining Armor “She’s lucky we don’t arrest her for even daring to talk to you like that.”
Cadance brushed it off, “Ah, she’s just full of hot air. I doubt she can really do anything to serious.”
Pan: One, it's too serious. Two, ordinarily yes, but Mykan will give the jerk power so she can torment the princess for doing the right thing.
Meanwhile, far away in New Ponyville, Mykan Stevens was Teaching Cheerilee’s class that day, while she was away visiting a friend.
*Mykan’s POV*
“Class…” I announced “Since Ms. Cheerilee is away today, I thought I’d fill in for her and give you back your results of last week’s science quiz.”
I began to hand the papers back to the students. It was a good thing Cheerilee graded them, because I still had much to learn about Pony sciences, despite similarities to my own kind or human siences.
Pan: Just to let you know, whatever is in italics is all copy-pasted. And yeah, Mykan Stevens has a good point there. Honestly, he is the most likable self-insert of this author.
Poe: Is he like Cyborg Davis, Count Logan and Talon Ted?
Pan: His pony counterpart yes, this guy no. This one is more of a purity stu, and to be honest, I prefer him.
“Very good, excellent, not bad, needs improvement...”
I handed Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon’s tests back, and they both had a C-Minus. “What?” snapped Diamond “But how can this be.”
“Yeah, we studied extra hard.” whined Silver Spoon
Pan: Mykan bashes lots of categories of people, and I disagree in most cases, but bullies are the exception. As long as Mykan doesn't go Perfect Lionheart on them, I am ok.
Finn: Who is Lionheart?
Pan: The guy who wrote Harrymort, someone who makes Mykan look like the professional he thinks he is.
I ignored their whining and then turned to the Cutiemark Crusaders. I smiled at them very proudly, “Very well done, girls.” and I handed then all their tests, which had perfect scores!
The girls all smiled,
“Wow! Our new study group has really helped us a lot.” said Sweetie Belle.
Ever since Rarity and Tree Hugger became pregnant, their families had spent much needed time helping the ladies be comfortable and preparing for the arrivals of the babies. So the Crusaders decided to step up their academic game by studying together as a group, rather than asking adults for help all the time.
Pan: So, team assignments. No problem with this except the series is supposed to be anti-friendship. It's as effective as having a white supremacist movie where the only one who does something right is a black man or an Asian woman.
“You see, class…” I said to the children “With a little self-discipline and a lot of concentration, you’ll find you’re capable doing more than you think.”
Applebloom raised her hand.
“Yes, Applebloom?”
“Um… is all this studyin’ and hard work how you became the man you are today, Mr. Stevens?”
Pan (as Stevens): I got this far in my life because I am a blatant author avatar. Also, because I have all the good sides of the author. The bad sides went to my pony counterpart, who is a dead, miserable loser. And probably hated even me for no reason.
I chose my next words carefully, “Well, I do owe a lot of what I am today through a lot of hard work, but remember this, children: Fate works in mysterious ways, and sometimes, things just happen all at once.
After all, I originally came to your world by a stroke of fate, not out of design.”
I surpassed my painful memories of how Lord Titan changed my life, using me a guinea pig for his portal test, and he killed my girlfriend, Michelle. That was two years ago.
Finn: I don't believe in fate. Or the will of the Force controlling us, either. I used to, but then I realized someone could use fate to excuse crimes. But yeah, luck can often play a factor. Also, that Titan must be an effective villain.
Pan: You can keep saying this until he saves you from his minions.
“The point is,” I quickly said “Things can just happen, like a bolt of lightning that strikes without warning.”
POW!! That’s when a loud noise, like thunder was heard outside.
Jannah: You were tempting fate.
“Was that thunder?” asked Scootaloo.
DD who was sitting closest to the window looked up at the sky, “Whoa! Check it out!”
All the students rushed to the windows, and I looked outside as well. There, up in the sky was some kind of dark cloud, darker than any storm-cloud I had ever seen, and it was sparking with bolts of electricity. “That’s high-level static discharge.” I said.
Suddenly, without warning, the discharge struck a power pole by the road near the school. There was a huge flash, which made us all cover our eyes, and when we looked again, all was quiet. The discharge in the sky was gone too; it was all clear again.
“Okay, what was that all about?” wondered Diamond Tiara.
The students all stammered and exchanged curious concerns, while I continued to look at where the lightning had struck. There didn’t seem to be any damage, or loss of power.
Suddenly, Lightning landed on the school grounds.
“Hey, it’s Commander Lightning!” cried Snips.
“Hey is so awesome.” added Snails.
Finn: We couldn't not shill him!
Lightning came into the schoolhouse, “Is everyone alright? That bolt struck very close to here.”
“We’re fine,” I replied “Whatever that was, nothing really happened.”
“What was that, Lightning?” asked Sweetie.
Lightning wasn’t sure he could explain it too well to the kids, feeling they were too young to understand. The best he could put it was, “It was some kind of static discharge that just suddenly materialized. We’ve been tracking it with our computers but we have no idea how it got there or what caused it.”
“Well, the worst is over, right?” said Scootaloo “I mean, no damage was done and nothing really happened.”
Lightning and I were the only ones who didn’t think it was all that simple.
Poe: You underestimate kids. Then again, the "smart kids dumb adults" has become a cliche.
*POV ends*
Back in the New Crystal Empire, Data Stream had returned to her old home, a simple house on the edge of the village, which she hadn’t seen for a year since she lived in the Crystal Palace while she was on the payroll.
She dragged behind her a wagon of what little of her belongings she had with her during that time.
She was still in such a huff, especially when she looked back at the palace. She growled and marched straight inside her home, slamming the door.
Inside her house was only one room. It was all dark, with all the shutters drawn, and there was furniture that was covered in cloth over the years. All that time, she never thought to rent her house out to anyone.
Poe: She doesn't look like the person who thinks at all.
Reason being, being the computer obsessed pony she was, she had loads of computers in one place in the corner of the house; five different computer consoles and terminals, with two large screens side by side on the walls.
Pan: This is possibly the most insulting depiction of a computer lover.
Then she sat herself down at her computers and activated them. “That Princess Cadance!” she grumbled to herself “Who does she think she is, firing me like that?!”
Finn: Yeah, blame everyone but yourself. You will not be rewarded if your name isn't Ben Solo.
This was not the first time she had been fired either.
She opened a drawer of her desk to get a file, and next to it was a much larger file of all her dismissal notices, letters of resignation, and rejected offers to work for other companies
“Years of studying!” Data grumbled “Working my way through college, just to be shunned and rejected. URRRRGH!!
Poe: I wonder who is to blame for that.
I ought to hack all their computers and break all their data to bits and bytes!” She only wished she could, but the improved computer technologies made it so no such thing was possible by ordinary means of hacking, programing, or otherwise. Protection programs and firewalls would eradicate and sudden attempt.
“Ugh! It’s not fair!!” growled Data Stream “People should be respecting me and worshiping at my greatness with computers, not shunning me and treating me like a common virus!”
In all her tantrums and rage fits, she was still refusing to admit her own bad attitude was the real problem behind all this.
Pan: The narrative said it as well as me. Instead of seeing what she did wrong, she wants to make others suffer.
“Someday, I’ll show them! I’ll show them all!”
Apart from her skills as a computer programmer, she was also a fine electronic artist, and used computer programs to draw and sketch.
When she was really angry, or really upset about something, one of her best pastimes to cool down was using her program to draw monsters; horrible, snarling monster pictures. Sometimes she would often make believe that she could actually create these monsters and send them to fight against those who wronged and fired her.
“Yeah…” she snickered “That’d be sweet. I’d show them all who’s really the greatest.”
Pan: Thus, an excuse for more Monsters of the Week! Hooray! Also, it's a sad thing that people like this exist.
She gazed at her latest monster, which she called, Light-Sting. It was a burly looking creature that seemed to resemble a cross between a dinosaur, and a swamp-beast. It had sharp teeth, big claws, and could shoot lightning bolts out of the antennas atop its head.
Data snickered… now losing more of her sanity than ever. “Oh, if only it were possible!”
Little she did she know she was about to get her wish granted!
Finn: Unlike the audience, who could easily figure it out.
Outside within the streets near her home, a powerful surge or electronic energy appeared out of nowhere. It traveled along the powerlines, crossing at every electrical intersection, and finally seeping its way into Data’s house.
“What’s going on…?!” Data cried as she felt her computers rumbling like earthquakes. Her consoles and terminals began to jolt with strange electrical currents.
Data hammered on the computer keys trying to solve the problem, but suddenly her second computer screen lit up by itself, and there appeared the most unusual thing she had ever seen: a large black, humanoid shaped creature, with red streaks glowing in lines all down his body. His head seemed to resemble that of an insect, but with horns on his head. He had very little facial features, except for two ghastly blue glowing eyes, and metal plating across his face that glowed red every time he spoke.
Finn: And I thought the First Order wasn't subtle.
“Greetings… Fleshling…” he hissed in a deep, eerie, and static voice.
Data Stream could hardly believe her eyes. “What?” she asked in shock.
“I said… Greetings, Fleshling.”
“I heard you.” snapped Data “Who are you? What are you?”
The creature snickered on her screen, “I am Megadox; Conqueror of the Digital World. For a long time I have traveled the wavelengths of parallel space, searching for someone of your skills and talents.”
Poe: So, basically, he is a demonic virus. And actually more demonic than the actual demons in Starfleet. First, he sweet talks, then he makes truthful promises in exchange for eternal servitude.
Data Stream felt she had gone completely insane and spun in her chair with her back facing the computers. She took off her glasses and rubbed her head softly. “Okay,” she panicked softly “I need to get a grip here.
There is not a little a guy, in my computer talking to me!”
“I can hear you.” Megadox said to her. She turned to face him again, realizing this was all too real. “I assure you this is no dream, Fleshling.”
Data’s feature’s hardened, “Quit calling me that!”
Pan: You remind me of the Psychlos, Megadox.
Poe: Who?
Pan: You will learn in a few chapters of my fic, Poe.
“I see no reason not to. After all, you are made of flesh and blood. You are a fleshling.”
“And you aren’t I suppose?”
Pan: No, he is a virus. (I wonder how long he would last in Digimon)
“No!” thundered Megadox “I am something greater. I am the most powerful, most deadly computer program ever to be created.”
Pan: Then your name should be Rootkit. But those things are subtle and hide other virsues.
Actually, Rootkit would present themselves as harmless and be Megadox's mole and hide him.
“Then why are you here?” asked Data “What do you want me for?”
Megadox snickered “Despite my own capabilities, you are able to create what I am unable to…
…Viruses. I can bring your computerized creation to life, and with it I can then CORRUPT, and DESTROY!!”
Pan: This might be accidental to make Data Stream relevant, but I see some realism. Megadox is an algorithm, and no algorithm can make algorithms. It's also the reason the machines will never be a threat to humanity. Also, Megadox, I really take back the comparison to rootkits. The way you act you aren't even a Trojan.
Data rubbed her face “Okay, slow down a minute here.” she said “Just how do you intend to do all this?”
“Observe your second computer screen, and you will see.”
Megadox then raised his eerie hands and actually zapped the second screen with and electronic laser beam. At once, the second screen showed the images of an unusual world of enlarged circuit chips, wirings, processing units and more.
“Wow!” Data exclaimed softly “Incredible! What is all that?”
“You see,” said Megadox “Within all computerized and electronic equipment, there exists a hidden realm; A Digital Sub World, where information is processed, and all the power is transferred to enable systems to function.
Pan: Did I mention Mykan likes Digimon? It gives me such vibes!
But with a mega virus monster, I can corrupt and destroy these systems and reprogram them to do my bidding. By controlling all the power there exists on the grid, I can grow, and I can rule, and nothing. Not even the most powerful of safety features can block me out!
Agree to help me, and there will be much power and glory for you as well.”
Pan: So, basically, you will use Monsters of the Week for hacking, which will be just attackers. Congratulations, you gave brute force attack a new meaning. (I think a good virus monster would be a wooden pony who pretended he was a good guy, while he secretly gathered information for Data Stream and Megadox)
Also, Megadox: They all hate and scorn you, but i appreciate you. You are nothing, but not to me.
Data: Oh, Megadox, I love your offer.
Really, if Megadox had a facade of innocence like every virus ever, these two would be entertaining. Then again, the hacker is aware of what her virus is...
Data hardly knew what to think of all this; some weird rouge program from out of nowhere promising her power and corruption over United Equestria?! So much to wonder! So much to think!
“Tell me…” she finally asked “If I give you this monster, would it be able to infect the personal computer in Princess Cadance’s royal bedchamber?”
Poe: Wow, this hacker is pathetic. She is willing to doom a kingdom due to her pettiness.
“Yes…!” hissed Megadox “That and much more.”
Data Stream smiled an evil grin. The thought of getting back at Cadance for firing her was too much to pass up. “Alright, you’ve got a deal. Show me what you can do.”
Megadox chuckled wickedly, “Behold, the power of Megadox!” he shouted as he zapped the picture of Data’s Light-Sting on the other screen, and then, as if by magic, the creature went from a 2-Dimensional drawing, into a 3-dimensional living, snarling monster!
“Amazing..! It’s really alive!” cried Data.
Pan: I think what separates Data from her author is that one of them doesn't try to make their deparved fantasies real. Good thing it's the author.
“Of course!” sneered Megadox, “And now, as per your request, I send Light-Sting across the electronic wavelengths into the personal computer of Princess Cadance.”
The monster was digitized into electronic-energy that sped across the powerlines, too fast to be tracked by any system, eventually, in mere seconds, making its way through the wired systems of the Crystal Palace, and docking in Cadance’s personal computer, which she used to write up her reports, and occasionally books and biographies, or check data.
The creature materialized within the Digital World, which Data observed on her computer screen, and then she watched as the virus began to slash, grind, and blast all the circuit chips and wires in the system.
“Yes!” exclaimed Data Stream “This will teach the princess to fire me!”
Finn: From experience with Rose, hacking is not that literal.
Pan: "Yes!" exclaimed Mykan. "This will teach the princess to be happily married while my favourite characters aren't!"
She had fully gone insane with power!
Ace: You don't say!
Meanwhile, in the Crystal Palace, Shining Armor and Cadance finally got Flurry Heart down for her nap and adjourned to their own bedroom on their break from duties.
“What a day.” groaned Shining Armor as he lay down on the bed, “I’m just glad we’ve seen the last of that Data Stream. I tell you Cadance, she needs a psychiatrist real bad.”
Finn: You are tempting fate.
“Oh, hush.” said Cadance “I agree, she’s a little hot tempered, but she brings it on herself. I just hope she can see the error of her ways.”
Jannah: This is how the author portrays the character he wants to suffer? She did nothing wrong!
She turned to face her husband, only to find he had fallen asleep, a typical thing for him to do, making Cadance growl softly.
“Well, I guess I have some time. I think I’ll add a new chapter to my book.”
So she sat down at her computer, and booted up the files of her book: “The Social Psychology of Troubled Ponies.”
Being a pony that often helped others with love problems, as well as friendship fallouts form time to time, Cadance thought it would be helpful if others could see her point of view on things and that she could teach others to learn how to respect others and tolerate behaviour patterns more gently.
Pan: That's IC for her.
Ace: And why Grand Ruler hates her.
But mysteriously, all her files were empty. All her chapters, all her wordings… gone!
“Hey!” she cried “What happened to my data.”
Pan: I wish I could be this zen.
She began to panic as she searched for her pages, but her computer started to act funny as more of her files were corrupted and her computer screen began to fade and blur. “Oh, no…!”
Her shouting woke her husband, “What are you screaming at?”
“My computer, something’s wrong with it!”
“Wrong?”
Jannah: Jakku has some sand on it!
The Light-Sting continued to corrupt the systems, leaving the computer in a bad state. Then, the creature vanished through a digital warp, and dashed off to infect other computers within the palace.
“What’s happening?” cried a pony at a console.
“What it is?” asked the head officer.
“The computer systems, they’re failing!”
All the consoles began to go haywire with errors and malfunctions. The technicians and programmers tried everything they could but couldn’t seem to do anything to find the source of the problem.
Back at Data Stream’s house, she witnessed the whole thing on her screen. “Hey!” she snapped “What’s going on? I only wanted to infect Cadance’s computer.”
Poe: Well, you petty moron, did you expect a sapient virus would just want to satisfy your pettiness?
Megadox replied, “I simply decided to improvise.”
“Who said you could?” sneered Data.
“Silence…! I am Megadox! I rule the Digital World and all that transpires here. I need no permission to meddle in affairs, especially not from a fleshling like yourself.
Just sit back and enjoy.”
Pan: You are a virus, you... oh well, you just attack with Literal Brute Force.
Data began to feel a little regretful in trusting Megadox. However, she couldn’t deny that conquering the world meant messing up more than just one computer system.
“Perhaps I was wrong to misjudge you after all.”
Megadox chuckled “That is more like it.”
Pan: Well done, this is a good anti-role model.
Meanwhile, back at school…
*Mykan’s POV*
School was out for the day, and all the students were sent home, but the Cutiemark Crusaders had volunteered to stay and help wash the blackboards and tidy the classroom up a little.
“Thanks for all the help, girls.” I said.
“Aw, shucks, it’s nothin’.” said Applebloom
“Yeah, think of this as thanks for our high test scores.” added Sweetie Belle
I chuckled at their innocence, “Girls, I told you already; Cheerilee graded your tests, I just handed them to you. Besides, you’re the ones who earned those marks.”
The girls simply smiled and kept on working, “I’m just glad I’m getting good grades.” said DD “At this rate, I’ll be able to join the Starfleet Academy for sure.”
“I think you’ll make a great fighter, DD.” said Scootaloo “We’ve all even had experiences in saving the world too.”
The girls remembered all the times they had helped their friends and loved ones against evil beings. Like the time they helped Starfleet defeat Spike’s evil sister Scaly, or when they helped take down Mayor Windy Bag who nearly destroyed an entire village in an insane crusade against Starfleet and their supporters.
Pan: That's true. Also, note that in Season 6 Windy Bag was the Big Bad.
“Easy now, girls…” I said “You can’t press your luck like that. I’m not trying to discourage you or anything, you are heroes in everyone’s eyes, but just don’t let it go to your heads.
Saving lives is a dangerous business. Even I know this, that’s why I only help Starfleet if I absolutely need to. I don’t just go wandering off into battle.
Do you understand?”
Pan: Also, because this series might have lots and lots of issues, but isn't Sonichu to make it the author's personal life only. And it's a good idea to keep children out of fights, honestly!
“Yes, Mr. Stevens.” they all replied. I smiled proudly at the girls.
*POV Pause*
At Lightning and Starla’s place…
Starla was feeding baby Shining Light his baby food while he sat in a high chair. “Come on, honey. Nom-nom…” she cooed “Nom-nom…”
She held up a spoonful of gooey food to the baby. Shining Light opened his little mouth and let the spoon go in, but being the baby he was, half the goop drizzled down his mouth and onto his bib.
“Oh, Shining Light…” Starla grumbled. That’s when Lightning came home, “Feeding troubles again?”
His wife gave him a playful glare.
“How’d the investigation go?” she then asked.
“Hopeless…” sighed Lightning “Whatever that power surge was, it just stuck the wires and nothing. We’ve run every analysis we have, and the wires are all perfectly normal.”
“That’s weird.” said Starla.
“That’s not all…” Lightning said “We also received an emergency report from The New Crystal Empire; every computer system is going haywire from an unknown source. The technicians report they never saw anything like it and can’t isolate the problem.”
Finn: These two are relevant.
Starla blinked once in concern, and before she could say anything, there was a small beeping alert coming from one of Starla’s telescopic computers. “Now what?” she grumbled. She left Lightning to watch the baby and quickly dashed to her telescope by the window at the front of the house where one of her star-gazing telescopes was set.
She checked the computer, and then looked through the telescope, right up at the sky. She magnified the lens so she could see clear up into space, “What the--?!”
“What is it?” Lightning asked.
“It’s another swarm of static-discharge. It’s headed straight this way!”
“What?”
Before anything else, that static energy, traveling along interstellar wavelengths, flew through the atmosphere of the planet struck a power pole and began to make its way along the powerlines, so fast that Starla’s computer was unable to track it where it was going, but the last thing she saw was, “…It was heading towards the schoolhouse!”
“The schoolhouse… That’s where the first shockwave struck.” said Lightning.
Pan: Take notes, Stammadon, this is how you do evil.
*POV Resume*
Soon, the classroom was all spic and span, and I prepared to walk the girls home before setting off for home myself… when suddenly…! BOOM! Another roar of thunder was heard from outside.
“Again?” exclaimed Applebloom “What is with the weather?”
We all looked out the windows, and surely enough there was another cloud of high static discharge in the sky, and we saw it strike the power poles from afar.
The energy surge struck the school, and made the only two computers in the classroom glow with electrical currents.
“Okay, what was that all about?” asked Scootaloo.
“And what’s with the computers?” added Sweeite Belle.
Pan: Yawn.
I cautioned the girls to step back as I took a closer look at the computers while they were still sparking, and then it just stopped, but the screen to the right was activated. It was showing digital wavelengths, and images of the Digital World.
“Whoa! Too cool!” cried DD.
Then, on the second screen was the images of a strange character; a human golden shaped suit of coated with digital armor-- Silver platings with red linings, like digital streaks, Shoulder pads, knee-pads, a huge glowing green orb in the center of the chest plating. Atop the suit was a full helmet with opaque platings and a glowing white visor across the eye area.
Then she screen showed the creature’s name at the top. “S.U.R.F.E.R. (Super Unit Restore Formatting Electronic Resource)”
Ace: This must be the anti-Megadox.
“What is all this?” wondered Applebloom.
“I don’t know.” I said as I moved in just a little bit closer to take a look… unaware there was a small wet spot on the floor from where the girls had mopped that I slipped on.
“Whoa!” and I fell forward, right at the computer, and instead of crashing into it, there was a bright flash of light. “What’s happening…?” I shouted
“MR. STEVENS!!” the girls cried as they rushed over to me, only to get caught in the light themselves.
Pan: Poor Stevens. First sucked in United Equestria. Then Avyanna attempted to suck you. Now you are sucked in the virtual world. And you had a pony counterpart who sucked.
*Pause*
The light had ceased, and the girls were lying flat on the floor, but Mykan was nowhere to be seen.
“Where’d he go?” asked Applebloom.
Sweetie Belle looked at the computer screen, “Look!”
The girls looked on the screen and could see Mykan, inside, on the screen! He seemed to be transforming in steams of digital lights and energy, actually donning the Surfer suit.
“Mr. Stevens!” cried Applebloom.
Pan: Of course the self-insert will be the Chosen One.
*Resume*
“Whoa!” I groaned. My voice sounded different, like a computerized monotone, and I felt very strange, almost lighter than air. “What’s happened to me?”
Then I could hear the girls calling to me.
“Mr. Stevens!” DD called “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine, but I-- Huh?” I stopped when suddenly strange information was processing before me. At the same time the girls saw what I saw on the other computer screen; some kind of ugly monster in another system, damaging the works!
I clenched my fists, feeling a surge of rage coursing through me.
“What is that?” wondered Applebloom, and she tried pressing the keys to see if the computer would respond, and she hit “Send”
Finn: That is a bad guy. Except if she means the way computers work.
“Hey!” I shouted as I felt myself hovering up high, and then I was launched through a digital warp, that sent me hurdling along powerlines and grids faster than ever I dreamed possible.
*Pause*
The girls didn’t know how many more confusions, wonders and wild curiosities they could take.
Just then, Lightning came into the schoolhouse. “Girls, what are you still doing here? School was out hours ago. And where’s Mykan?”
The girls rushed up to him and began to panic all at once, forcing him to whistle to hush them. “Calm down! Tell me what happened?”
As the girls tried to tell Lightning the story, Mykan was in for the tale of his life!
Pan: Bigger than that of his own story? Where he helped beat Titan?
*Resume*
It seemed as though, within seconds, I traveled to the New Crystal Empire, right into the palace, seeping into a damaged computer terminal, and materialized within the place I saw on the computer, and before my eyes.
I was actually inside some kind of computer system, and it looked pretty beat up. Wires were fried, control-units were compromised, bits of damaged components lay about…
“Talk about your fixer-upper.” I said, and I suddenly remembered… “That creature I saw…!”
Suddenly, without warning, Light-Sting attacked me from behind, and a big brawl broke out.
I tried to call my Sword of Pure Soul, but nothing happened. My weapons and tech from the outside world weren’t functional here. “Guess I’ll have to do this the old fashioned way!”
Pan: Oh yes, one of the few things that Mykan does right. Giving his heroes a challenge.
I wretched out of the monster’s grip and began to punch and kick its burly body. This only seemed to make it angrier.
Light-Sting swung its huge tail tripping me up, and I fell to the ground. “Talk about a cheap shot.” I grunted.
Finn: No, that wasn't a cheap shot. The ambush from behind was.
As I scrambled back onto my feet, the creature then fired a blast of lightning from its antenna, forcing me back hard into a solid transformer tower.
“Ugh! That’s it!!” I thundered as I bolted upright. “…Time to see what this suit can really do!”
My boots stared glowing, and the information flashed before me. The boots gave me the ability to streak along the wavelengths, like a real surfer, for fast attacks, and bolted across, striking the monster hard.
“Time for a backtrack…!” I said, and I bounded back for another strike. WHAMM!!
Pan: That's a Deus Ex Machina. Downloaded the knowledge and went from 0 to 100 fast.
*Pause*
The fight did not go unnoticed. Data Stream and Megadox had been observing everything!
“Fleshling!” thundered Megadox, “Who is that fighting with Light-Sting? Did you tamper with the systems? Did you send in another program?!”
“What?” snapped Data “…I didn’t do anything! I thought YOU sent him in.”
“He is destroying my monster!”
Data had no idea what to do. “Well, do something! Stop him!”
“I cannot!!” roared Megadox “His formatting is locked! He is unlike anything I have ever encountered! I cannot connect to him!”
Data angrily pounded her desk, “I thought you said you were All-Powerful! Guess you have your limitations after all!”
Finn: The almighty Megadox, having trouble with an antivirus. Also, Data, why would Megadox sabotage himself? He is right!
Pan: Something tells me she now helps him out of fear, if she really wanted him to win she would show him all her drawn monsters and have them gang up on Mykan.
*Resume*
I struck monster again as I sped past, and knocked it to the ground, but then my boots stopped glowing; I had used up all their energy until they could be recharged somehow. “Uh, oh…!” I whimpered, and the monster grabbed me again, holding me by my neck.
“Can’t… break… free!” I groaned, and there was a good why!
*Pause*
Pan: This would be an "oh shit" moment if it had a better syntax.
The girls told Lightning the story, and even showed him the computer screens. “You’re saying Mykan went into the computer, and he’s that armored guy fighting that monster?”
“Yes! That’s exactly it!” cried Applebloom.
Suddenly, the computer screens began to flash red, followed by a warning sound.
“Now what’s the matter?” asked Scootaloo.
Lightning checked both computer screens, and while this was all baffling to him, while one screen showed the fight, and that Mykan was in big trouble, the second screen showed the Surfer Suit was running low on energy.
Pan: Ok, this is writing for a cartoon for kids. Possibly on purpose.
“This is not good!” Lightning said.
“We’ve got to try and help him!” cried Sweetie Belle.
“Yeah, but how?” asked DD “We don’t know how this thing works!”
Lightning, still amazed by all this, looked at the other screen showing the Surfer energy meters. They were low, but not out. “I wonder…” he said, and sat himself down at the screen, typing on the keys, “It’s working…!” he said as he uncovered a hidden secret; a picture of a simple looking sword.
“Mykan… can you hear me?” Lightning called into the screen.
Finn: Behold the power of convenience! (He nearly kicked my ass with it)
*Resume*
“Lightning…?” I called “You’ve got to get me out of here! I can’t last much longer!”
“Listen to me,” said Lightning “I don’t know what this all is or any of how this is happening, but according to the computer, you can summon a Data Saber.
Hurry and call it while you still have power!”
“Data Saber…?” I said “What have I got to lose, apart from everything?!”
Pan: ?
I managed to sock the monster up its face making it let go of me. I rolled away, and then raised my hand up high “DATA SABER”
My right gauntlet began to glow and, and sword hilt was uploaded out of this air into my hand, and pixels began to appeared in a long row forming the solid blade.
“All right…!” I exclaimed “Now let’s see what this thing can do.”
Light-Sting roared and swung his sharp claws at me. Thanks to my practicing my sword skills, I was able to use by blade to parry each and every attack.
Finn: That makes the most sense in all of this, everything else in the suit, including the suit itself, is deus ex machina.
Light-Sting then aimed to blast me with a lightning blast, but missed me when I leapt up and over the creature’s head, and sliced the antennas right off.
“Now to really cut off your current…!” I said, and the programing told me that the sword was capable of eradicating the virus with a cool finisher move.
Finn: I have made just as cheesy one-liners. Then again, Chrome Dome deserved no respect.
The blade of the sword glowed; I waved it round in a circle and shouted, “CRASH SLASH WAVE!” and with a single slash, I unleash a stream of eradicating energy right onto the monster, and the creature was gone; vanished in a digital shattering of data that vaporized into nothing.
Pan: I think pixelization should also make a better effect for capture blasters than explosions. At least finally we had no fake explosions this time to make Michael Bay proud.
I could hear the girls cheering for joy, but suddenly, the green orb part of my chest plate began to glow brightly. “What’s this…?” I wondered and I just tapped the orb, which then unleashed a shower of tiny sparkling lights that settled all over the damages systems and spread throughout the grid.
As if by magic, all the systems, all the components and wires were repaired and restored to normal, as if nothing had ever happened.
Ace Ray: Is there any monster who has caused actual lasting damage?
Pan: Raven and Discord. And Titan, but he is the Big Bad of the series.
*Pause*
At the same time, all the systems within the Crystal Palace were coming back online.
“What’s happened?” asked the head officer.
“I don’t know.” replied the technician “It’s like the computer’s… repairing itself?”
Even Cadance’s computer was fully restored; all her files, all her data. She was surprised, and couldn’t understand it in the least. “Shining Armor, you’ve got to see this!” she cried.
Her husband was about to, when they could hear the baby crying over the baby monitor, “Hold that thought.” Shining Armor sighed, and he and his wife went to tend to their daughter’s need.
Pan: How come, Mykan? I thought you hated...
Stevens: I am the author's good side. So, I will treat the ponies with decency, like he does a very few times.
*Resume*
Never had I felt so stoked, so amazed, “I can’t believe I just did all that.” I said “But… how do I get out of here?”
My green chest orb was still glowing, and I touched it, and it formed a Digital Warp that sucked me in, and once again I was sent soaring along the power lines, emerging back in the classroom, landing smack on top of Lightning and the girls, and I was wearing my normal clothes again too.
Jannah: If only we could be handed more abilities than we could master. Even Stevens had no idea how he got all this power, it just works! Honestly, I think it wasn't handled well.
“Hey!” groaned Lightning.
“You’re squishing me!” cried Scootaloo.
“Take it easy!” I said.
We managed to straighten ourselves out, but we were all still completely astonished and baffled by this whole experience.
“I can’t believe I really went in there.” I said.
“Neither can we.” agreed Sweetie Belle.
“What was it like?” asked Applebloom.
“How did it feel?” added Scootaloo.
“How did you beat that monster?” added DD.
Pan: Yeah, explain please, the whole antivirus suit didn't make sense.
Lightning whistled again. “Much as I understand your curiosity girls, I think we better take it easy on this for now. All this needs to be toughly inquired and examined by Starfleet. I have a feeling this could be more serious than we think.
So, as of now, this is officially classified; No mentioning this to anyone. Understand…?”
Poe: How is this moron a general? Whom do they have to hide from? Data and Megadox know what's wrong! This attack did more damage to civilians than Torron. And you... just... HIDE IT! Yeah, hide the fact there is a vicious hacker attacking, and making a good job, so it will be harder to deal with! Rely on the deus ex machina that just works. No, you nincompoop! I know it's not Stammadon or Titan, but what if it somehow was? Enemy nations do try to hack the systems! Spread the word, idiot! Spread it!
The girls and I solemnly agreed, by saluting to him.
It was getting very late. Lightning and I decided to take the girls home before their families worried, but I stopped a moment and looked back at the computers. Something told me we hadn’t seen the last of… whatever all this was.
*End POV*
Poe: So, let's keep the civilians in the dark. I had no problem causing a mutiny for that!
(Promo)
In our Next Episode: While the soon-to-be Fathers fawn over the awaited arrivals of their babies, Lightning comes to the conclusion to boost the confidence of training fighters by searching for an apprentice of his own, while Stammadon prepares his first attack against United Equestria by darkening the skies causing hurricanes and storms to ravage things.
Can Starfleet overcome these fearsome plots, and will Lightning find his perfect pupil?
Pan: By the way, why doesn't Megadox try to attack when Stammadon sends a monster? Only Raven did it, when Harkin also attacked, and it worked!
Don’t miss the next exciting episode of “Starfleet Magic!”
(Next Episode: “Brain Storming!”)
Pan: Which has only to do with storms. That was actually kind of boring, when it wasn't annoying. But it had some good moments and Data Stream has potential for a very good villain.
See you at the next spork!
Poe: Also, in Pan's last fic, I fought Torron. And he was tough but not so bright! Honestly, I wonder how Starfleet would stand up to Zant.
Finn: They probably wouldn't. Zant isn't just stronger, he is smarter and really ruthless.
-Yes, I admit it, I'm using SUPERHUMAN SAMAURAI. I like the show, and I HAVE used a lot of different kinds of evil in the Starfleet series. Trying to do something not yet done. (I've done robots, but never computer viruses)
Pan: Nothing wrong with that.
-This is only the START of Cadance's torture this year, it's going to get much worse
Pan: A lot of wrong with this, except the fact he isn't lying.
Finn: Remind me why he hates her so much?
Pan: Because she is happily married.
Finn: This raises further questions!
Ever since United Equestria was formed after The Great War, with Starfleet’s advanced technologies, things had quite improved since the days of Equestria of Old.
Pan: A reminder that this new world is so much better than the old one. Though, when we see the name Starfleet, we DO expect very advanced technology.
Computers and Systems were now much more advanced, and able to do much more than ever before, and new complex machinery and devices were established to make life a little different, and much more efficient.
Simple home computers were only used for things like writing, developing software, or even simple drawing programs. Whereas large complex consoles were used in Starfleet for many things, like tracking, radar, weather scouting, data analysis, storing records, ect, ect…
Finn: Of course only the military will have good computers. While that's a good choice, it also shows the militarism here.
One thing the computers did not have was Internet. Though human ambassador, Mykan Stevens, had shown and taught the inhabitants of this remarkable benefit of his world, most citizens agreed it best there be no internet…!
Jannah: To be honest, internet is too ancient in our Galaxy, we have holograms.
Pan: Any similarity to police states which ban social media is coincidental.
United Equestria was a planet more centered around Friendship; as in “Spending time with friends and family” Going on picnics, fishing, bowling, to the movies or theater, or just plain hanging out and having fun.
Pan: Mykan, either you are forgetting why you are writing this spitefic rewrite, or you are lying to our faces. Friendship is supposed to fail in this series! I would say United Equestria is centered about belief, not friendship, and it... actually makes more sense.
If you use the Internet correctly, you can have more contact with friends, especially now with Corona. I would say the Internet, if used with wisdom, helps friendship but hinders belief. So, I suspect there is a far more insidious reason.
Plus, they also knew that having such things would probably have benefits, but also serious consequences, like cyber-bullying, hacking, and people wasting all their time in front of the computer, ignoring outside life.
Pan: All of these are very real dangers. But, as you will see, hacking still exists in this fic, and without internet. Cyber-bullying is indeed awful, and I don't wish it on anyone, but the author thinks things like this sporking are also cyber-bullying. And if we get this in-universe, the internet is rejected because it will give a voice to all critics of Starfleet.
Oh God no.
As for the last thing... Is it supposed to be another jab at his critics? I think this issue is real, but only for those with little critical thinking or lockdown. I think using Internet for socialisation is just as possible.
So, things like internet, motor cars, television-- most people were perfectly content not having such things, and they got on just fine without.
Pan: To be fair, I don't watch TV ever. And seriously, who needs cars there? Starfleet can probably outspeed them!
Even still, just because technologies improved, didn’t mean everyone was forced to switch over. Applejack and her family stuck to their old farming methods, because they liked it that way.
Many deemed United Equestria fine as it was.
Pan: For a hate fic, it does respect its targets sometimes.
*Present Day…*
All of planet was made well aware of the new evil that Starfleet would be contending with, but as usual the people would not let this affect their normal lifestyle. So life continued as normal.
Kids went to school. Grownups went to work, all that and more…
Poe: Nothing unusual, just an itty bitty war.
Ace: Did they... inform the citizens? That's progress.
One day, at the New Crystal Empire, the tracking stations at the Crystal Palace were picking up a strange distortion in the atmosphere.
The ponies were at their computer consoles and stations tracking what appeared to be small levels of a static-discharge-- very unusual for lightning to strike in an area so small rather than clouding the whole skies.
It seemed harmless enough, but the computers suddenly experienced power failure and errors. Without them, the ponies could not track the static or try to analyze it.
Finn: Stammadon hacked the computers to block the communications with his black magic? While it would create the plot hole of how he knows about computers, that would be actually a bit clever.
Pan: No, it's not him.
“Oh, blast it!” growled the head officer “Send in for the technicians.”
A quartet of ponies soon came in, ready to fix the computers, and among them was a disgruntled looking earth pony. Her coat was pink; her mane was the same color as Twilight Sparkle’s, dark navy blue with pink streaks, only her mane was worn up in a small bun. She wore a pair of thick framed square glasses, and her cutiemark was that of picture green 0s and 1s, like data on a computer screen.
Immediately, there were whispers and grumpy remarks coming from the worker ponies.
“Oh… it’s Data Stream.”
Pan: It's a more effective villain than him.
“That grumpy face of hers could stop a clock.”
Data Stream growled angrily, “You got something to say?” she thundered at the head officer.
The head technician confronted her, “Enough! We’ve got a job to do.”
The only made Data look crosser, but she got to work with the other technicians, repairing the systems and replacing any units burnt out. “This job sucks!” she growled to herself “I should be the greatest computer technician of all times, and yet these morons won’t bend over to adapt.”
Jannah: Data is a bitch. Not only does she hate everyone but herself, she blames others for her own ineptitude.
Data was not very well liked among the palace staff, mostly due to her demeaning attitude and pushiness. Worse than that, she was known to cause a lot of trouble with the computers, and had a record for nearly causing great catastrophes, such as blackouts, short circuits, and other forms of deadly malfunction.
Pan: If she was a he, she would be still treated as a victim. Good thing she is a woman and thus is seen as the asshole she is. Also, I am average at programming and definitely a better computer scientist than this bitch. Heck, my grandmother is better because she never broke anything.
“There… I’m starting to get power back.” said a pony at her computer station. She was beginning to track the discharge in the atmosphere again, but her computer went out again. “Ugh! Not again!” and she loomed over where Data Stream was working “Can’t you hurry up and fix this. We need to track that static.”
Data Stream bolted upright and glared the pony in the face, “You got a problem with the way I’m working?”
“Hey, now!” snapped the head officer, but Data Stream really blew her stack at the other pony, “Why don’t YOU FIX IT!” she thundered, shoving a huge computer unit right into her, pushing back hard against the console, breaking the equipment.
Pan: So she is basically the Stone Heart of informatics. Also, who the fuck hires a luddite to be a technician? (Jk, I know she doesn't hate machines, she is just selfish... like Ludd himself)
All at once, wires began to spark followed by small explosions and electrical fires that broke out.
“LOOK OUT!!” the head officer cried.
The alarms sounded as the ponies scrambled to get things under control; Data Stream just cowered down behind a console on the far side of the room, refusing to help.
Pan: Usually Mykan, when he wants to make someone unlikable, they represent his critics. Or it's unintentional. But nah, this right here is a good hate sink.
Poe: Good thing she is not the boss. Holdo would reduce her to tears. Holdo.
While way off in Flurry Heart’s bedroom, Shining Armor and Princess Cadance were just putting baby Flurry Heart down for her nap when the alarms sounded, frightening the baby to tear, and the lights in the baby’s room began to flicker like they were about to burst.
Pan: It's to "tears".
Finn: Also, I know the author enjoys writing the baby being scared, but he just manages to make Data Stream the villain Stammadon wants to be. She actually caused more destruction so far!
“What’s happening?” cried Cadance.
“I don’t know…” replied her husband, and he dashed for the door and saw a rescue team dashing down the hallway. “What’s going on?” he called out, and one of the ponies replied “Electrical Fire in the Tracking Station C!”
Cadance and Shining Armor gawked at each other in concern. Cadance grabbed the baby, and she and her husband dashed off to assess the situation.
The technicians quickly shut down the computer circuits and unplugged the equipment to stop the fire from spreading to other systems, but the computers and the equipment were still going crazy until the rescue team made it, and used their magic and fire extinguishers to contain and put out the flames.
Ace: I thought they could not use magic outside of battle. Did Celesto also give a pass for other dangerous situations like fires? If so, I respect him a little more.
The danger was over, but the equipment was still badly damaged. Thankfully, nobody was hurt.
The Royal Family then stood at the door. “Is everything okay in here?” asked Shining Armor.
“It is now, sir.” replied the head officer “But it could be extremely serious, and guess who’s responsible for this?” he cast an angrily glare at Data Stream, who was standing with her arm folded and an uncaring, grumpy expression on her face.
Every single pony in the entire room was livid with her. Cadance handed Shining Armor Flurry Heart, and then marched straight over to Data Stream. She spoke very severely to her. “Data Stream, this isn’t the first time you’ve put the palace and our workers in danger!”
Pan: What will happen will be an excuse for Cadance to suffer. Anyone who believes Cadance is right, raise hands.
(Everyone does so)
Pan: I knew it.
Data acted callously, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“But it is the last time!” growled Cadance, “The VERY… last… time!
You are dismissed, right now, this instant! And I suggest you move out of the palace immediately!”
Pan: While... some... grammar... issues... are... present, bravo, princess!
Finn: Data Stream is lucky she is not in the First Order. The first time she acted like this, she would be shot.
Data gasped in shock, but seeing as she had no support as everyone seemed to share Cadance’s spite of her, she had no choice but to leave. “You’ll be sorry you did that, Princess.” She threatened “You’ll be sorry!”
She marched out of the room, passing Shining armor on the way, but all he did was glare at her without saying a thing. Then she was gone!
Poe: Not everyone seemed to. Because we all DO share that anger at this moron, who should have been given the boot earlier.
“What is wrong with that mare?” grumbled Shining Armor “She’s lucky we don’t arrest her for even daring to talk to you like that.”
Cadance brushed it off, “Ah, she’s just full of hot air. I doubt she can really do anything to serious.”
Pan: One, it's too serious. Two, ordinarily yes, but Mykan will give the jerk power so she can torment the princess for doing the right thing.
Meanwhile, far away in New Ponyville, Mykan Stevens was Teaching Cheerilee’s class that day, while she was away visiting a friend.
*Mykan’s POV*
“Class…” I announced “Since Ms. Cheerilee is away today, I thought I’d fill in for her and give you back your results of last week’s science quiz.”
I began to hand the papers back to the students. It was a good thing Cheerilee graded them, because I still had much to learn about Pony sciences, despite similarities to my own kind or human siences.
Pan: Just to let you know, whatever is in italics is all copy-pasted. And yeah, Mykan Stevens has a good point there. Honestly, he is the most likable self-insert of this author.
Poe: Is he like Cyborg Davis, Count Logan and Talon Ted?
Pan: His pony counterpart yes, this guy no. This one is more of a purity stu, and to be honest, I prefer him.
“Very good, excellent, not bad, needs improvement...”
I handed Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon’s tests back, and they both had a C-Minus. “What?” snapped Diamond “But how can this be.”
“Yeah, we studied extra hard.” whined Silver Spoon
Pan: Mykan bashes lots of categories of people, and I disagree in most cases, but bullies are the exception. As long as Mykan doesn't go Perfect Lionheart on them, I am ok.
Finn: Who is Lionheart?
Pan: The guy who wrote Harrymort, someone who makes Mykan look like the professional he thinks he is.
I ignored their whining and then turned to the Cutiemark Crusaders. I smiled at them very proudly, “Very well done, girls.” and I handed then all their tests, which had perfect scores!
The girls all smiled,
“Wow! Our new study group has really helped us a lot.” said Sweetie Belle.
Ever since Rarity and Tree Hugger became pregnant, their families had spent much needed time helping the ladies be comfortable and preparing for the arrivals of the babies. So the Crusaders decided to step up their academic game by studying together as a group, rather than asking adults for help all the time.
Pan: So, team assignments. No problem with this except the series is supposed to be anti-friendship. It's as effective as having a white supremacist movie where the only one who does something right is a black man or an Asian woman.
“You see, class…” I said to the children “With a little self-discipline and a lot of concentration, you’ll find you’re capable doing more than you think.”
Applebloom raised her hand.
“Yes, Applebloom?”
“Um… is all this studyin’ and hard work how you became the man you are today, Mr. Stevens?”
Pan (as Stevens): I got this far in my life because I am a blatant author avatar. Also, because I have all the good sides of the author. The bad sides went to my pony counterpart, who is a dead, miserable loser. And probably hated even me for no reason.
I chose my next words carefully, “Well, I do owe a lot of what I am today through a lot of hard work, but remember this, children: Fate works in mysterious ways, and sometimes, things just happen all at once.
After all, I originally came to your world by a stroke of fate, not out of design.”
I surpassed my painful memories of how Lord Titan changed my life, using me a guinea pig for his portal test, and he killed my girlfriend, Michelle. That was two years ago.
Finn: I don't believe in fate. Or the will of the Force controlling us, either. I used to, but then I realized someone could use fate to excuse crimes. But yeah, luck can often play a factor. Also, that Titan must be an effective villain.
Pan: You can keep saying this until he saves you from his minions.
“The point is,” I quickly said “Things can just happen, like a bolt of lightning that strikes without warning.”
POW!! That’s when a loud noise, like thunder was heard outside.
Jannah: You were tempting fate.
“Was that thunder?” asked Scootaloo.
DD who was sitting closest to the window looked up at the sky, “Whoa! Check it out!”
All the students rushed to the windows, and I looked outside as well. There, up in the sky was some kind of dark cloud, darker than any storm-cloud I had ever seen, and it was sparking with bolts of electricity. “That’s high-level static discharge.” I said.
Suddenly, without warning, the discharge struck a power pole by the road near the school. There was a huge flash, which made us all cover our eyes, and when we looked again, all was quiet. The discharge in the sky was gone too; it was all clear again.
“Okay, what was that all about?” wondered Diamond Tiara.
The students all stammered and exchanged curious concerns, while I continued to look at where the lightning had struck. There didn’t seem to be any damage, or loss of power.
Suddenly, Lightning landed on the school grounds.
“Hey, it’s Commander Lightning!” cried Snips.
“Hey is so awesome.” added Snails.
Finn: We couldn't not shill him!
Lightning came into the schoolhouse, “Is everyone alright? That bolt struck very close to here.”
“We’re fine,” I replied “Whatever that was, nothing really happened.”
“What was that, Lightning?” asked Sweetie.
Lightning wasn’t sure he could explain it too well to the kids, feeling they were too young to understand. The best he could put it was, “It was some kind of static discharge that just suddenly materialized. We’ve been tracking it with our computers but we have no idea how it got there or what caused it.”
“Well, the worst is over, right?” said Scootaloo “I mean, no damage was done and nothing really happened.”
Lightning and I were the only ones who didn’t think it was all that simple.
Poe: You underestimate kids. Then again, the "smart kids dumb adults" has become a cliche.
*POV ends*
Back in the New Crystal Empire, Data Stream had returned to her old home, a simple house on the edge of the village, which she hadn’t seen for a year since she lived in the Crystal Palace while she was on the payroll.
She dragged behind her a wagon of what little of her belongings she had with her during that time.
She was still in such a huff, especially when she looked back at the palace. She growled and marched straight inside her home, slamming the door.
Inside her house was only one room. It was all dark, with all the shutters drawn, and there was furniture that was covered in cloth over the years. All that time, she never thought to rent her house out to anyone.
Poe: She doesn't look like the person who thinks at all.
Reason being, being the computer obsessed pony she was, she had loads of computers in one place in the corner of the house; five different computer consoles and terminals, with two large screens side by side on the walls.
Pan: This is possibly the most insulting depiction of a computer lover.
Then she sat herself down at her computers and activated them. “That Princess Cadance!” she grumbled to herself “Who does she think she is, firing me like that?!”
Finn: Yeah, blame everyone but yourself. You will not be rewarded if your name isn't Ben Solo.
This was not the first time she had been fired either.
She opened a drawer of her desk to get a file, and next to it was a much larger file of all her dismissal notices, letters of resignation, and rejected offers to work for other companies
“Years of studying!” Data grumbled “Working my way through college, just to be shunned and rejected. URRRRGH!!
Poe: I wonder who is to blame for that.
I ought to hack all their computers and break all their data to bits and bytes!” She only wished she could, but the improved computer technologies made it so no such thing was possible by ordinary means of hacking, programing, or otherwise. Protection programs and firewalls would eradicate and sudden attempt.
“Ugh! It’s not fair!!” growled Data Stream “People should be respecting me and worshiping at my greatness with computers, not shunning me and treating me like a common virus!”
In all her tantrums and rage fits, she was still refusing to admit her own bad attitude was the real problem behind all this.
Pan: The narrative said it as well as me. Instead of seeing what she did wrong, she wants to make others suffer.
“Someday, I’ll show them! I’ll show them all!”
Apart from her skills as a computer programmer, she was also a fine electronic artist, and used computer programs to draw and sketch.
When she was really angry, or really upset about something, one of her best pastimes to cool down was using her program to draw monsters; horrible, snarling monster pictures. Sometimes she would often make believe that she could actually create these monsters and send them to fight against those who wronged and fired her.
“Yeah…” she snickered “That’d be sweet. I’d show them all who’s really the greatest.”
Pan: Thus, an excuse for more Monsters of the Week! Hooray! Also, it's a sad thing that people like this exist.
She gazed at her latest monster, which she called, Light-Sting. It was a burly looking creature that seemed to resemble a cross between a dinosaur, and a swamp-beast. It had sharp teeth, big claws, and could shoot lightning bolts out of the antennas atop its head.
Data snickered… now losing more of her sanity than ever. “Oh, if only it were possible!”
Little she did she know she was about to get her wish granted!
Finn: Unlike the audience, who could easily figure it out.
Outside within the streets near her home, a powerful surge or electronic energy appeared out of nowhere. It traveled along the powerlines, crossing at every electrical intersection, and finally seeping its way into Data’s house.
“What’s going on…?!” Data cried as she felt her computers rumbling like earthquakes. Her consoles and terminals began to jolt with strange electrical currents.
Data hammered on the computer keys trying to solve the problem, but suddenly her second computer screen lit up by itself, and there appeared the most unusual thing she had ever seen: a large black, humanoid shaped creature, with red streaks glowing in lines all down his body. His head seemed to resemble that of an insect, but with horns on his head. He had very little facial features, except for two ghastly blue glowing eyes, and metal plating across his face that glowed red every time he spoke.
Finn: And I thought the First Order wasn't subtle.
“Greetings… Fleshling…” he hissed in a deep, eerie, and static voice.
Data Stream could hardly believe her eyes. “What?” she asked in shock.
“I said… Greetings, Fleshling.”
“I heard you.” snapped Data “Who are you? What are you?”
The creature snickered on her screen, “I am Megadox; Conqueror of the Digital World. For a long time I have traveled the wavelengths of parallel space, searching for someone of your skills and talents.”
Poe: So, basically, he is a demonic virus. And actually more demonic than the actual demons in Starfleet. First, he sweet talks, then he makes truthful promises in exchange for eternal servitude.
Data Stream felt she had gone completely insane and spun in her chair with her back facing the computers. She took off her glasses and rubbed her head softly. “Okay,” she panicked softly “I need to get a grip here.
There is not a little a guy, in my computer talking to me!”
“I can hear you.” Megadox said to her. She turned to face him again, realizing this was all too real. “I assure you this is no dream, Fleshling.”
Data’s feature’s hardened, “Quit calling me that!”
Pan: You remind me of the Psychlos, Megadox.
Poe: Who?
Pan: You will learn in a few chapters of my fic, Poe.
“I see no reason not to. After all, you are made of flesh and blood. You are a fleshling.”
“And you aren’t I suppose?”
Pan: No, he is a virus. (I wonder how long he would last in Digimon)
“No!” thundered Megadox “I am something greater. I am the most powerful, most deadly computer program ever to be created.”
Pan: Then your name should be Rootkit. But those things are subtle and hide other virsues.
Actually, Rootkit would present themselves as harmless and be Megadox's mole and hide him.
“Then why are you here?” asked Data “What do you want me for?”
Megadox snickered “Despite my own capabilities, you are able to create what I am unable to…
…Viruses. I can bring your computerized creation to life, and with it I can then CORRUPT, and DESTROY!!”
Pan: This might be accidental to make Data Stream relevant, but I see some realism. Megadox is an algorithm, and no algorithm can make algorithms. It's also the reason the machines will never be a threat to humanity. Also, Megadox, I really take back the comparison to rootkits. The way you act you aren't even a Trojan.
Data rubbed her face “Okay, slow down a minute here.” she said “Just how do you intend to do all this?”
“Observe your second computer screen, and you will see.”
Megadox then raised his eerie hands and actually zapped the second screen with and electronic laser beam. At once, the second screen showed the images of an unusual world of enlarged circuit chips, wirings, processing units and more.
“Wow!” Data exclaimed softly “Incredible! What is all that?”
“You see,” said Megadox “Within all computerized and electronic equipment, there exists a hidden realm; A Digital Sub World, where information is processed, and all the power is transferred to enable systems to function.
Pan: Did I mention Mykan likes Digimon? It gives me such vibes!
But with a mega virus monster, I can corrupt and destroy these systems and reprogram them to do my bidding. By controlling all the power there exists on the grid, I can grow, and I can rule, and nothing. Not even the most powerful of safety features can block me out!
Agree to help me, and there will be much power and glory for you as well.”
Pan: So, basically, you will use Monsters of the Week for hacking, which will be just attackers. Congratulations, you gave brute force attack a new meaning. (I think a good virus monster would be a wooden pony who pretended he was a good guy, while he secretly gathered information for Data Stream and Megadox)
Also, Megadox: They all hate and scorn you, but i appreciate you. You are nothing, but not to me.
Data: Oh, Megadox, I love your offer.
Really, if Megadox had a facade of innocence like every virus ever, these two would be entertaining. Then again, the hacker is aware of what her virus is...
Data hardly knew what to think of all this; some weird rouge program from out of nowhere promising her power and corruption over United Equestria?! So much to wonder! So much to think!
“Tell me…” she finally asked “If I give you this monster, would it be able to infect the personal computer in Princess Cadance’s royal bedchamber?”
Poe: Wow, this hacker is pathetic. She is willing to doom a kingdom due to her pettiness.
“Yes…!” hissed Megadox “That and much more.”
Data Stream smiled an evil grin. The thought of getting back at Cadance for firing her was too much to pass up. “Alright, you’ve got a deal. Show me what you can do.”
Megadox chuckled wickedly, “Behold, the power of Megadox!” he shouted as he zapped the picture of Data’s Light-Sting on the other screen, and then, as if by magic, the creature went from a 2-Dimensional drawing, into a 3-dimensional living, snarling monster!
“Amazing..! It’s really alive!” cried Data.
Pan: I think what separates Data from her author is that one of them doesn't try to make their deparved fantasies real. Good thing it's the author.
“Of course!” sneered Megadox, “And now, as per your request, I send Light-Sting across the electronic wavelengths into the personal computer of Princess Cadance.”
The monster was digitized into electronic-energy that sped across the powerlines, too fast to be tracked by any system, eventually, in mere seconds, making its way through the wired systems of the Crystal Palace, and docking in Cadance’s personal computer, which she used to write up her reports, and occasionally books and biographies, or check data.
The creature materialized within the Digital World, which Data observed on her computer screen, and then she watched as the virus began to slash, grind, and blast all the circuit chips and wires in the system.
“Yes!” exclaimed Data Stream “This will teach the princess to fire me!”
Finn: From experience with Rose, hacking is not that literal.
Pan: "Yes!" exclaimed Mykan. "This will teach the princess to be happily married while my favourite characters aren't!"
She had fully gone insane with power!
Ace: You don't say!
Meanwhile, in the Crystal Palace, Shining Armor and Cadance finally got Flurry Heart down for her nap and adjourned to their own bedroom on their break from duties.
“What a day.” groaned Shining Armor as he lay down on the bed, “I’m just glad we’ve seen the last of that Data Stream. I tell you Cadance, she needs a psychiatrist real bad.”
Finn: You are tempting fate.
“Oh, hush.” said Cadance “I agree, she’s a little hot tempered, but she brings it on herself. I just hope she can see the error of her ways.”
Jannah: This is how the author portrays the character he wants to suffer? She did nothing wrong!
She turned to face her husband, only to find he had fallen asleep, a typical thing for him to do, making Cadance growl softly.
“Well, I guess I have some time. I think I’ll add a new chapter to my book.”
So she sat down at her computer, and booted up the files of her book: “The Social Psychology of Troubled Ponies.”
Being a pony that often helped others with love problems, as well as friendship fallouts form time to time, Cadance thought it would be helpful if others could see her point of view on things and that she could teach others to learn how to respect others and tolerate behaviour patterns more gently.
Pan: That's IC for her.
Ace: And why Grand Ruler hates her.
But mysteriously, all her files were empty. All her chapters, all her wordings… gone!
“Hey!” she cried “What happened to my data.”
Pan: I wish I could be this zen.
She began to panic as she searched for her pages, but her computer started to act funny as more of her files were corrupted and her computer screen began to fade and blur. “Oh, no…!”
Her shouting woke her husband, “What are you screaming at?”
“My computer, something’s wrong with it!”
“Wrong?”
Jannah: Jakku has some sand on it!
The Light-Sting continued to corrupt the systems, leaving the computer in a bad state. Then, the creature vanished through a digital warp, and dashed off to infect other computers within the palace.
“What’s happening?” cried a pony at a console.
“What it is?” asked the head officer.
“The computer systems, they’re failing!”
All the consoles began to go haywire with errors and malfunctions. The technicians and programmers tried everything they could but couldn’t seem to do anything to find the source of the problem.
Back at Data Stream’s house, she witnessed the whole thing on her screen. “Hey!” she snapped “What’s going on? I only wanted to infect Cadance’s computer.”
Poe: Well, you petty moron, did you expect a sapient virus would just want to satisfy your pettiness?
Megadox replied, “I simply decided to improvise.”
“Who said you could?” sneered Data.
“Silence…! I am Megadox! I rule the Digital World and all that transpires here. I need no permission to meddle in affairs, especially not from a fleshling like yourself.
Just sit back and enjoy.”
Pan: You are a virus, you... oh well, you just attack with Literal Brute Force.
Data began to feel a little regretful in trusting Megadox. However, she couldn’t deny that conquering the world meant messing up more than just one computer system.
“Perhaps I was wrong to misjudge you after all.”
Megadox chuckled “That is more like it.”
Pan: Well done, this is a good anti-role model.
Meanwhile, back at school…
*Mykan’s POV*
School was out for the day, and all the students were sent home, but the Cutiemark Crusaders had volunteered to stay and help wash the blackboards and tidy the classroom up a little.
“Thanks for all the help, girls.” I said.
“Aw, shucks, it’s nothin’.” said Applebloom
“Yeah, think of this as thanks for our high test scores.” added Sweetie Belle
I chuckled at their innocence, “Girls, I told you already; Cheerilee graded your tests, I just handed them to you. Besides, you’re the ones who earned those marks.”
The girls simply smiled and kept on working, “I’m just glad I’m getting good grades.” said DD “At this rate, I’ll be able to join the Starfleet Academy for sure.”
“I think you’ll make a great fighter, DD.” said Scootaloo “We’ve all even had experiences in saving the world too.”
The girls remembered all the times they had helped their friends and loved ones against evil beings. Like the time they helped Starfleet defeat Spike’s evil sister Scaly, or when they helped take down Mayor Windy Bag who nearly destroyed an entire village in an insane crusade against Starfleet and their supporters.
Pan: That's true. Also, note that in Season 6 Windy Bag was the Big Bad.
“Easy now, girls…” I said “You can’t press your luck like that. I’m not trying to discourage you or anything, you are heroes in everyone’s eyes, but just don’t let it go to your heads.
Saving lives is a dangerous business. Even I know this, that’s why I only help Starfleet if I absolutely need to. I don’t just go wandering off into battle.
Do you understand?”
Pan: Also, because this series might have lots and lots of issues, but isn't Sonichu to make it the author's personal life only. And it's a good idea to keep children out of fights, honestly!
“Yes, Mr. Stevens.” they all replied. I smiled proudly at the girls.
*POV Pause*
At Lightning and Starla’s place…
Starla was feeding baby Shining Light his baby food while he sat in a high chair. “Come on, honey. Nom-nom…” she cooed “Nom-nom…”
She held up a spoonful of gooey food to the baby. Shining Light opened his little mouth and let the spoon go in, but being the baby he was, half the goop drizzled down his mouth and onto his bib.
“Oh, Shining Light…” Starla grumbled. That’s when Lightning came home, “Feeding troubles again?”
His wife gave him a playful glare.
“How’d the investigation go?” she then asked.
“Hopeless…” sighed Lightning “Whatever that power surge was, it just stuck the wires and nothing. We’ve run every analysis we have, and the wires are all perfectly normal.”
“That’s weird.” said Starla.
“That’s not all…” Lightning said “We also received an emergency report from The New Crystal Empire; every computer system is going haywire from an unknown source. The technicians report they never saw anything like it and can’t isolate the problem.”
Finn: These two are relevant.
Starla blinked once in concern, and before she could say anything, there was a small beeping alert coming from one of Starla’s telescopic computers. “Now what?” she grumbled. She left Lightning to watch the baby and quickly dashed to her telescope by the window at the front of the house where one of her star-gazing telescopes was set.
She checked the computer, and then looked through the telescope, right up at the sky. She magnified the lens so she could see clear up into space, “What the--?!”
“What is it?” Lightning asked.
“It’s another swarm of static-discharge. It’s headed straight this way!”
“What?”
Before anything else, that static energy, traveling along interstellar wavelengths, flew through the atmosphere of the planet struck a power pole and began to make its way along the powerlines, so fast that Starla’s computer was unable to track it where it was going, but the last thing she saw was, “…It was heading towards the schoolhouse!”
“The schoolhouse… That’s where the first shockwave struck.” said Lightning.
Pan: Take notes, Stammadon, this is how you do evil.
*POV Resume*
Soon, the classroom was all spic and span, and I prepared to walk the girls home before setting off for home myself… when suddenly…! BOOM! Another roar of thunder was heard from outside.
“Again?” exclaimed Applebloom “What is with the weather?”
We all looked out the windows, and surely enough there was another cloud of high static discharge in the sky, and we saw it strike the power poles from afar.
The energy surge struck the school, and made the only two computers in the classroom glow with electrical currents.
“Okay, what was that all about?” asked Scootaloo.
“And what’s with the computers?” added Sweeite Belle.
Pan: Yawn.
I cautioned the girls to step back as I took a closer look at the computers while they were still sparking, and then it just stopped, but the screen to the right was activated. It was showing digital wavelengths, and images of the Digital World.
“Whoa! Too cool!” cried DD.
Then, on the second screen was the images of a strange character; a human golden shaped suit of coated with digital armor-- Silver platings with red linings, like digital streaks, Shoulder pads, knee-pads, a huge glowing green orb in the center of the chest plating. Atop the suit was a full helmet with opaque platings and a glowing white visor across the eye area.
Then she screen showed the creature’s name at the top. “S.U.R.F.E.R. (Super Unit Restore Formatting Electronic Resource)”
Ace: This must be the anti-Megadox.
“What is all this?” wondered Applebloom.
“I don’t know.” I said as I moved in just a little bit closer to take a look… unaware there was a small wet spot on the floor from where the girls had mopped that I slipped on.
“Whoa!” and I fell forward, right at the computer, and instead of crashing into it, there was a bright flash of light. “What’s happening…?” I shouted
“MR. STEVENS!!” the girls cried as they rushed over to me, only to get caught in the light themselves.
Pan: Poor Stevens. First sucked in United Equestria. Then Avyanna attempted to suck you. Now you are sucked in the virtual world. And you had a pony counterpart who sucked.
*Pause*
The light had ceased, and the girls were lying flat on the floor, but Mykan was nowhere to be seen.
“Where’d he go?” asked Applebloom.
Sweetie Belle looked at the computer screen, “Look!”
The girls looked on the screen and could see Mykan, inside, on the screen! He seemed to be transforming in steams of digital lights and energy, actually donning the Surfer suit.
“Mr. Stevens!” cried Applebloom.
Pan: Of course the self-insert will be the Chosen One.
*Resume*
“Whoa!” I groaned. My voice sounded different, like a computerized monotone, and I felt very strange, almost lighter than air. “What’s happened to me?”
Then I could hear the girls calling to me.
“Mr. Stevens!” DD called “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine, but I-- Huh?” I stopped when suddenly strange information was processing before me. At the same time the girls saw what I saw on the other computer screen; some kind of ugly monster in another system, damaging the works!
I clenched my fists, feeling a surge of rage coursing through me.
“What is that?” wondered Applebloom, and she tried pressing the keys to see if the computer would respond, and she hit “Send”
Finn: That is a bad guy. Except if she means the way computers work.
“Hey!” I shouted as I felt myself hovering up high, and then I was launched through a digital warp, that sent me hurdling along powerlines and grids faster than ever I dreamed possible.
*Pause*
The girls didn’t know how many more confusions, wonders and wild curiosities they could take.
Just then, Lightning came into the schoolhouse. “Girls, what are you still doing here? School was out hours ago. And where’s Mykan?”
The girls rushed up to him and began to panic all at once, forcing him to whistle to hush them. “Calm down! Tell me what happened?”
As the girls tried to tell Lightning the story, Mykan was in for the tale of his life!
Pan: Bigger than that of his own story? Where he helped beat Titan?
*Resume*
It seemed as though, within seconds, I traveled to the New Crystal Empire, right into the palace, seeping into a damaged computer terminal, and materialized within the place I saw on the computer, and before my eyes.
I was actually inside some kind of computer system, and it looked pretty beat up. Wires were fried, control-units were compromised, bits of damaged components lay about…
“Talk about your fixer-upper.” I said, and I suddenly remembered… “That creature I saw…!”
Suddenly, without warning, Light-Sting attacked me from behind, and a big brawl broke out.
I tried to call my Sword of Pure Soul, but nothing happened. My weapons and tech from the outside world weren’t functional here. “Guess I’ll have to do this the old fashioned way!”
Pan: Oh yes, one of the few things that Mykan does right. Giving his heroes a challenge.
I wretched out of the monster’s grip and began to punch and kick its burly body. This only seemed to make it angrier.
Light-Sting swung its huge tail tripping me up, and I fell to the ground. “Talk about a cheap shot.” I grunted.
Finn: No, that wasn't a cheap shot. The ambush from behind was.
As I scrambled back onto my feet, the creature then fired a blast of lightning from its antenna, forcing me back hard into a solid transformer tower.
“Ugh! That’s it!!” I thundered as I bolted upright. “…Time to see what this suit can really do!”
My boots stared glowing, and the information flashed before me. The boots gave me the ability to streak along the wavelengths, like a real surfer, for fast attacks, and bolted across, striking the monster hard.
“Time for a backtrack…!” I said, and I bounded back for another strike. WHAMM!!
Pan: That's a Deus Ex Machina. Downloaded the knowledge and went from 0 to 100 fast.
*Pause*
The fight did not go unnoticed. Data Stream and Megadox had been observing everything!
“Fleshling!” thundered Megadox, “Who is that fighting with Light-Sting? Did you tamper with the systems? Did you send in another program?!”
“What?” snapped Data “…I didn’t do anything! I thought YOU sent him in.”
“He is destroying my monster!”
Data had no idea what to do. “Well, do something! Stop him!”
“I cannot!!” roared Megadox “His formatting is locked! He is unlike anything I have ever encountered! I cannot connect to him!”
Data angrily pounded her desk, “I thought you said you were All-Powerful! Guess you have your limitations after all!”
Finn: The almighty Megadox, having trouble with an antivirus. Also, Data, why would Megadox sabotage himself? He is right!
Pan: Something tells me she now helps him out of fear, if she really wanted him to win she would show him all her drawn monsters and have them gang up on Mykan.
*Resume*
I struck monster again as I sped past, and knocked it to the ground, but then my boots stopped glowing; I had used up all their energy until they could be recharged somehow. “Uh, oh…!” I whimpered, and the monster grabbed me again, holding me by my neck.
“Can’t… break… free!” I groaned, and there was a good why!
*Pause*
Pan: This would be an "oh shit" moment if it had a better syntax.
The girls told Lightning the story, and even showed him the computer screens. “You’re saying Mykan went into the computer, and he’s that armored guy fighting that monster?”
“Yes! That’s exactly it!” cried Applebloom.
Suddenly, the computer screens began to flash red, followed by a warning sound.
“Now what’s the matter?” asked Scootaloo.
Lightning checked both computer screens, and while this was all baffling to him, while one screen showed the fight, and that Mykan was in big trouble, the second screen showed the Surfer Suit was running low on energy.
Pan: Ok, this is writing for a cartoon for kids. Possibly on purpose.
“This is not good!” Lightning said.
“We’ve got to try and help him!” cried Sweetie Belle.
“Yeah, but how?” asked DD “We don’t know how this thing works!”
Lightning, still amazed by all this, looked at the other screen showing the Surfer energy meters. They were low, but not out. “I wonder…” he said, and sat himself down at the screen, typing on the keys, “It’s working…!” he said as he uncovered a hidden secret; a picture of a simple looking sword.
“Mykan… can you hear me?” Lightning called into the screen.
Finn: Behold the power of convenience! (He nearly kicked my ass with it)
*Resume*
“Lightning…?” I called “You’ve got to get me out of here! I can’t last much longer!”
“Listen to me,” said Lightning “I don’t know what this all is or any of how this is happening, but according to the computer, you can summon a Data Saber.
Hurry and call it while you still have power!”
“Data Saber…?” I said “What have I got to lose, apart from everything?!”
Pan: ?
I managed to sock the monster up its face making it let go of me. I rolled away, and then raised my hand up high “DATA SABER”
My right gauntlet began to glow and, and sword hilt was uploaded out of this air into my hand, and pixels began to appeared in a long row forming the solid blade.
“All right…!” I exclaimed “Now let’s see what this thing can do.”
Light-Sting roared and swung his sharp claws at me. Thanks to my practicing my sword skills, I was able to use by blade to parry each and every attack.
Finn: That makes the most sense in all of this, everything else in the suit, including the suit itself, is deus ex machina.
Light-Sting then aimed to blast me with a lightning blast, but missed me when I leapt up and over the creature’s head, and sliced the antennas right off.
“Now to really cut off your current…!” I said, and the programing told me that the sword was capable of eradicating the virus with a cool finisher move.
Finn: I have made just as cheesy one-liners. Then again, Chrome Dome deserved no respect.
The blade of the sword glowed; I waved it round in a circle and shouted, “CRASH SLASH WAVE!” and with a single slash, I unleash a stream of eradicating energy right onto the monster, and the creature was gone; vanished in a digital shattering of data that vaporized into nothing.
Pan: I think pixelization should also make a better effect for capture blasters than explosions. At least finally we had no fake explosions this time to make Michael Bay proud.
I could hear the girls cheering for joy, but suddenly, the green orb part of my chest plate began to glow brightly. “What’s this…?” I wondered and I just tapped the orb, which then unleashed a shower of tiny sparkling lights that settled all over the damages systems and spread throughout the grid.
As if by magic, all the systems, all the components and wires were repaired and restored to normal, as if nothing had ever happened.
Ace Ray: Is there any monster who has caused actual lasting damage?
Pan: Raven and Discord. And Titan, but he is the Big Bad of the series.
*Pause*
At the same time, all the systems within the Crystal Palace were coming back online.
“What’s happened?” asked the head officer.
“I don’t know.” replied the technician “It’s like the computer’s… repairing itself?”
Even Cadance’s computer was fully restored; all her files, all her data. She was surprised, and couldn’t understand it in the least. “Shining Armor, you’ve got to see this!” she cried.
Her husband was about to, when they could hear the baby crying over the baby monitor, “Hold that thought.” Shining Armor sighed, and he and his wife went to tend to their daughter’s need.
Pan: How come, Mykan? I thought you hated...
Stevens: I am the author's good side. So, I will treat the ponies with decency, like he does a very few times.
*Resume*
Never had I felt so stoked, so amazed, “I can’t believe I just did all that.” I said “But… how do I get out of here?”
My green chest orb was still glowing, and I touched it, and it formed a Digital Warp that sucked me in, and once again I was sent soaring along the power lines, emerging back in the classroom, landing smack on top of Lightning and the girls, and I was wearing my normal clothes again too.
Jannah: If only we could be handed more abilities than we could master. Even Stevens had no idea how he got all this power, it just works! Honestly, I think it wasn't handled well.
“Hey!” groaned Lightning.
“You’re squishing me!” cried Scootaloo.
“Take it easy!” I said.
We managed to straighten ourselves out, but we were all still completely astonished and baffled by this whole experience.
“I can’t believe I really went in there.” I said.
“Neither can we.” agreed Sweetie Belle.
“What was it like?” asked Applebloom.
“How did it feel?” added Scootaloo.
“How did you beat that monster?” added DD.
Pan: Yeah, explain please, the whole antivirus suit didn't make sense.
Lightning whistled again. “Much as I understand your curiosity girls, I think we better take it easy on this for now. All this needs to be toughly inquired and examined by Starfleet. I have a feeling this could be more serious than we think.
So, as of now, this is officially classified; No mentioning this to anyone. Understand…?”
Poe: How is this moron a general? Whom do they have to hide from? Data and Megadox know what's wrong! This attack did more damage to civilians than Torron. And you... just... HIDE IT! Yeah, hide the fact there is a vicious hacker attacking, and making a good job, so it will be harder to deal with! Rely on the deus ex machina that just works. No, you nincompoop! I know it's not Stammadon or Titan, but what if it somehow was? Enemy nations do try to hack the systems! Spread the word, idiot! Spread it!
The girls and I solemnly agreed, by saluting to him.
It was getting very late. Lightning and I decided to take the girls home before their families worried, but I stopped a moment and looked back at the computers. Something told me we hadn’t seen the last of… whatever all this was.
*End POV*
Poe: So, let's keep the civilians in the dark. I had no problem causing a mutiny for that!
(Promo)
In our Next Episode: While the soon-to-be Fathers fawn over the awaited arrivals of their babies, Lightning comes to the conclusion to boost the confidence of training fighters by searching for an apprentice of his own, while Stammadon prepares his first attack against United Equestria by darkening the skies causing hurricanes and storms to ravage things.
Can Starfleet overcome these fearsome plots, and will Lightning find his perfect pupil?
Pan: By the way, why doesn't Megadox try to attack when Stammadon sends a monster? Only Raven did it, when Harkin also attacked, and it worked!
Don’t miss the next exciting episode of “Starfleet Magic!”
(Next Episode: “Brain Storming!”)
Pan: Which has only to do with storms. That was actually kind of boring, when it wasn't annoying. But it had some good moments and Data Stream has potential for a very good villain.
See you at the next spork!
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Megadox violates the golden rule of malware: Pretend you are innocent.