pan2000

Spitefic: Saving Celeste

Tue, 23 Jan 2024 16:55:03 GMT

( Once more in Parthalon )

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Spitefic: Attack on Parthalon

Thu, 02 Mar 2023 22:35:05 GMT

( The Chosen Siblings )

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Spitefic: Male Against Female

Sat, 02 Jul 2022 12:57:49 GMT

( Light against Dark. )

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Spitefic: Zant vs Darkness the Hedgehog

Thu, 30 Sep 2021 21:20:29 GMT

( Read more... )

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Pan Hancock vs Harrymort

Sun, 10 May 2020 09:34:31 GMT

The battle of all battles! One of the most disgusting self-inserts faces off against my own self-insert! Can Harrymort last longer than Sterk?

Harrymort is sitting on his not-throne, when Herminion brings him the news he never wanted to hear.

Somebody was killing their troops. The Dryad slaves lost their immortality, the Disco Eaters have lost many, Luna Nogood was dead and Luna Lovegood wants nothing to do with Harrymort.

In fact, Luna Nogood's body was found hanged upside down with a note: "Don't sentence children to repeated rape, or else".

Harrymort felt sad and scared simultaneously... no, this can't be! He was not afraid of anything! He was still the Boy Who Lived! And sadness? Compassion was for the weak, just like fear.

Then he gets a message. "My Dark Lord, your love, Bellatrix, awaits you in the central square."

Harrymort goes there with his invisible car and finds Bellatrix... everywhere. A blond young man is polishing his blade.

Harrymort mentally ranted about how a cheap shot would help kill the man without an open fight, but then he decided to make him suffer. "Crucio!"

The blond, white man with the blue eyes screamed in pain as the curse made him feel agony.

But, to the dark wizard's surprise, the man managed to regain his composure and summon a thunderbolt from his right hand. Harrymort gets struck so hard he loses his wand.

Harrymort hated open fights. He risked getting injured in any way. It wasn't cowardice, just pragmatism. "Who are you?"

The man dashed forward and kicked the monster in the solar plexus. "Someone who saw you turning women into mindless slaves. And don't say things like you did them a favor with beauty. Not all women are shallow bints."

Harrymort started ranting about how his actions were all right and that everyone should be grateful blah blah blah...

Only to be interrupted when a big, golden sword penetrated him. "I know what you will say. That armor is so valuable and should be swordproof. Well, this sword... is holy. It can cut through diamond. And I believe it will hurt you, Riddle, more than the poor child you are possessing."

Harrymort turned into a Nemean Lion. Then he roared and charged. The man rolled out of the way and used another lightning bolt.

"You are good..." Then the man also hurled a spear of lightning. It struck home. "... But I am Pan Hancock. I am no hero. I just hunt scumbags like you."

Then he fired another thunderbolt, but Harrymort used his unicorn speed to dodge it. And the next one. And the next one. The Nemean Lion gets very close to Pan and knocks him down. Then it tries to bite his head off.

Pan struggles to keep the monster's jaws open and is sweating. "I need something. Something really strong." And he uses one of his very few spells that are not lightning-based, his Sonic Scream. It stuns the Lion for three seconds... but that was just a distraction, as the Nemean Lion is fed a Lightning Bomb!

Harrymort is forced to human form after this and can barely stand up. He reaches for his wand. "Listen, agent of the Headbastard... you will never win. The Light shall prevail!"

"Actually, I am a supporter of the Light... just one of the least pure ones. You, on the other hand, are pure. Pure Dark, who turns innocents into breeding machines, use enemies for experiments and make some abusers eat each other forever. Call them out. Beat them up. Heck, kill the adults if they go TOO far! Just... not this. Killing the Dursleys, after what they did and what you did, was karma in both ways."

Harrymort starts reaching for his wand. Pan pretends he did not see him. The dark wizard keeps crawling. "You... you murdered them! That's..."

"Both mercy and a punishment. Harsh enough for their abuse, but lighter than what you did to them. You know, some people are very fucked up. They think raping a child is less insane than killing said rapist with a shotgun."

Pan chuckles. "This is why I mostly use my bare hands on rapists to kill them."

Then Harrymort reaches for his wand and fires a green beam. "Avada Kadavra!"

It can ignore even a shield spell and can kill instantly... but Pan, knowing the spell is unblockable even from his Shield of Hope, which can block a ship's lasers, jumps sideways as far as he can.

Then he uses another of his best techniques. "Sunlight beam!"

It strikes Harrymort at the head. Voldemort, struck by the holy energy, gets banished, and Harry falls unconscious.

"If I had a healing spell, Harry... you did not deserve to become this."

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Finn's Inferno Sue Bodycount

Wed, 29 Jan 2020 11:49:29 GMT

A fic I wrote a year ago was Finn's Inferno, where I admit I went too far with the crack. It involves the Resistance from the Sequel Trilogy leading an assault against Hell itself, with the aid of OCs and characters from other franchises.

As they get through the dark kingdom, they are forced to watch over-the-top horrors! Among the victims are some Sues, so tell me whose punishment would you like to see!

Also has MST, where the Resistance is forced to watch the most horrible, horrible comic that turned into a movie. So bad, it's somehow worse than Vegan Artbook, which at least is good for a fireplace.

WARNING: In this AU Kylo is the villain's very powerful second-in-command, bc it was written pre-TROS. The post-TROS stories have him do redemption tasks, where he kills living Sues and Stus instead. In case anyone wonders why he has minions or tortures a sinner.

Ebony Way (yes) is forbidden to touch men and forced to wear prep clothes forever.

Jenna Silverblade is one of Ganondorf's (oh yeah, he is the enemy leader) minions, tries and fails to seduce and then beat Link and gets executed for it.

Ian Brandon Anderson is first blasted by Finn, then bested by Rey when he tries to assault her and then strangled by an unredeemed Kylo Ren, who calls him out for his victim complex and pettiness.

Sonichu is cut in half by Pan (OC), who tells him he is not even his strongest foe.

For Vegan Artbook Sues I have nothing, but I do have for militant vegans. Not much, but those who were both greedy and gluttons were turned into pigs and then they were fed to the militant vegans.

Julia Nakahamou is a minion of Kylo Ren. She is slain by Rey effortlessly.

Bella and Edward have a throwaway mention in the Circle of Lust. They are among the toxic couples who can't touch each other ever.

Do you want to see one of the punishments?

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